So I live in the countryside of Japan. Not many opportunities to meet pretty girls out here, but I have met one. The problem is, outside of hand holding, she has been very non-commital. But whenever I give up on her, she emails me saying she really wants to do something with me.
I'm not sure about the rules in Japan. Does one just go for the gusto, like in the Japanese movies? Somehow I doubt life is like the fiction. I'm a relatively shy guy that got tired of being burned, so my progress is glacial to say the least.
Does one have to admit one has feelings, ala densha otoko? How do I move to the next stage.
Supplementary: she is six years older than me. Maybe she sees that as a problem.
>>7
Please stop putting stuff in the name field.
>>7
"and"
"fuck"
"you"
>>7
clearly too much dating japanese girls and not enough learning english for this one. gb2/school
well since Im in japan right now also, and have some insight on this, don't be shy. be considerate, but somewhat assertive. Its the same as America in the sense that if you dont make a move then nothing will happen.
Just read her body language and be a bit more assertive, if she is very hesitant, then stop there and cut your losses.
see someone else...if it's non commital, then there isn't a big deal.
>>6
I don't think asking Japanese guys such advices is a good idea. Japanese men hate Japanese women dating with non-Japanese men. They sometimes insult couples of Japanese women and foreign men on their BBS.
but they enjoy Manga and Anime with a bunch of big breasted white-looking women? lol...
>Japanese men hate Japanese women dating with non-Japanese men.
yay, just what this thread needs, more gross generalizations.
hi i'm new to this thread, I'm 16 years old = years being single. I currently have a japnese friend (girl) who i talk to using SKYPE. we have talked for 6 hours once which was the first time for me to talk to a girl that long ~"~ I have sent her a christmas gift and she liked it alot.... the problem is here ~"~ I start to like this girl now and the problem is i live in australia and i'm so far awaay ~"~ i am thinking of confessing to her next time we talked but i havn't heard from her for 3 weeks now >"< can someone please give me some advise?? I'm afraid i will get rejected if i say it >"<
>>16
I wanted to point out that you are 16 years old and your post number is 16, congratulations.
if she accepts your confession (which i highly doubt will happen) then good, but good luck going to Japan and going to school having a relationship at the same time.
If you are rejected forget it, dont do anything more. The key is to think realistically and to avoid idealistic goals or you will hurt yourself doing something unnesscary. 3 years down the road your probably going to forget about her.
"dont treat her more than she is worth" and you will get more than you expect.
hmm i see, thanks for the adivice ^^! i will try my best!
my friend said mostly what you said. he told me not to say it because i will just hurt my self... i have one more question to ask.... do you think i should confess or better if i dont??
"you must do what you think is right for yourself"
i dont know how well you deal with rejection, or how you can handle situations so i cant be the judge. hell if i was in your position i would think about if it is even possible in the first place.
What if she accepts your confession? will you be prepared to take the burden of going to japan, school and having a relationship with a person who grew up in a culture different than the culture in austrailia? Or maybe you can handle it, you know somethign that the average person doesnt to solve this kind of situation.
When i talk to girls i become weak and scared and its alot of stress, unless i lived next door to her and didnt meet her online I wouldnt even try confessing, I dont think its worth my time and there might be alot of unexpected things waiting in the future. I would just let her go, ofcourse it might be different for you..
hmm from your oppinion, i did think about it more. maybe i shouldn't confess after all but i think i will just remain good friends, it seems to be a better choice xD
as time goes on you never know what might unfold, so I agree with your choice to sit tight for now...hell, something a lot more local might come into your sight sooner than you think young man!
thanks for the help! i could have done something extremly stupid!~ OMZ
i agree with >>6
it's the universal language. there are no rules when it comes to love.
really??!
i think secret admirer is good at giving advice
i dont have girlfriend for a very long time (three weeks) am i bad?
why there are alot of secret admirers?
That's the default name if you leave "Name:" blank. Like I did for this post.
ah something for me
:P
>>27 well techinicly some people here hasn't even got a girlfriend in thier life! like me, i never had a gf yet ! >"<
lol
I want good relationship with you.im a sincere.romantic and ..................
>>2
They only want out of the country until they leave...then they miss Japan and want to go back. Maybe it's cause they suffer their first mugging. Who knows?
>>14
No, Japanese don't watch anime, only Weeaboos on 4chan watch anime.
This thread is what happens when people who've never dated give dating advice.
Densha Otoko is what happens when people who've never dated give dating advice.
Dont do it kid, you dont know this girl. Shes 16, and in JAPAN 16 year olds are considered ADULTS!
For all you know she might be in some BUKKAKE FILM?
Dont do it kid, you dont know this girl. Shes 16, and in JAPAN 16 year olds are considered ADULTS!
For all you know she might be in some BUKKAKE FILM?
Dont do it kid, you dont know this girl. Shes 16, and in JAPAN 16 year olds are considered ADULTS!
For all you know she might be in some BUKKAKE FILM?
Dont do it kid, you dont know this girl. Shes 16, and in JAPAN 16 year olds are considered ADULTS!
For all you know she might be in some BUKKAKE FILM?
Dont do it kid, you dont know this girl. Shes 16, and in JAPAN 16 year olds are considered ADULTS!
For all you know she might be in some BUKKAKE FILM?
Dont do it kid, you dont know this girl. Shes 16, and in JAPAN 16 year olds are considered ADULTS!
For all you know she might be in some BUKKAKE FILM?
Dont do it kid, you dont know this girl. Shes 16, and in JAPAN 16 year olds are considered ADULTS!
For all you know she might be in some BUKKAKE FILM
DONT DO IT BENSON!
In japan 16 is an ADULT, and she could be in BUKKAKE MOVIES for all you know!
16? Adult? No, not really.
20 is the usual age at which someone becomes an adult in Japan. I think it differs in some areas, but yeah.
first about Japanese NOT watching anime...I think that you are forgetting who created anime to begin with THE JAPANESE. Anime and Manga are sold everywhere to the Japanese, they read Anime and Manga more than most American or Brits read Tabloids.
AmericanGuy...sorry dude but do you really think that your post is more noticed because of how many times you type it? Benson did not say she was 16 years old. Yes, Japan 16 is an adult AS SO LONG as she is also graduated H.S. (typically around 16 or 17), has no religion saying otherwise (Thai Buddism in Japan says 20 not 16 or 18), and also parents who claim them as adult (meaning they have understanding as such).
Bukkake Films are not typical in Japan though. They are typical in Thailand. Look it up by the CIA and FBI reports of the US government.
I do see a huge amount of generalism in this thread and also in the article. There are a total number of 4 religions and 24 Japanese cultures...combining these can be more obvious of the countless variations of the lifes in Japan (ALL THREE ISLANDS). So first thing is first, how am I Japan Educated...I spent 3 years of my life in Japan. My first girlfriend was from Hong Kong and her dad was with a firm dealing with Japan businesses. He mentored me a great deal about the different lives. Most Japanese are making fun of us western people...we really are gaijins (don't go by what westerners are taught what it means..study the language itself. Calling a westener a gaijin is like calling a black person the N**** word..it means naive, stupid, hypocritical westerner..ie it's an insult).
Benson, I have ONLY dated Asian women all my teen and adult life. I have been married to a Japanese woman now for the last 10 years. I do believe that you should confess, just word it correctly. Japanese women like honesty because that shows your honor (YES ALL JAPANESE WOMEN DO WANT A MAN OF HONOR). But do becareful in a true marriage relationship...Japanese women are slightly submissive on the outside, but in the marriage..they are very demanding. Not saying it is a bad thing, just different for most who are not expecting it. Many of the Japanese women do like men who go after what they want (not in a controlling way..they also usually know what they are looking for). Many Japanese men are also very, very jealous and possisive..which is many reasons why they look for non Japanese husband (that's also in accordance with Asia Connect dating service).
>There are a total number of 4 religions and 24 Japanese cultures
>Anime and Manga are sold everywhere to the Japanese, they read Anime and Manga
thanks for that informative necro
I like chocolate!
OP
I can't offer you advice that comes from personal experience on dating japanese women however i had the same problem as I was working a co-op term in seoul, Korea. Having studied in japan for about 8 months i found that they are very similar in that they are very shy and will almost never make a first move so it is up to you to make a first move and let her know you are interested.
If youre wondering ididnt have time for dating while in japan due to my heavy heavy course load -_- but i did in seoul because i was working. I found it more difficult to approach korean women as there are way less foreigners in korean than there are in japan so they were easily intimidated. Make sure you dont move to quickly. Be gentle and once you earn their trust you can start to make your move. i did this and have been with this same korean girl for 3 years.
GOOD LUCK OP
Nice 2 year necro, guys. Just let this thread die in peace.