Women are women for a reason.
They don't have what they want because they are afraid of getting what they want. They expect men to know what they want and give it to them. Yes, I agree that men have to tell her what she wants, but there are ways and ways of doing that. It's all about making her believe we are what they want by "selling" ourselves in a certain "package". If she wants danger, mystery and rough guys, we have it. If she wants romance, sentimentalism, and cuddling, we have it. If she wants sex, sex, and sex, we have it too.
At least that's how it works. So yeah, ask her what she "wants". You can make her believe you have it.
But in the end, you'll end up changing FOR the girl BECAUSE of the girl. I still don't know if it's worth it. Some claim to become better men because of women...