Goddamned friendzone.... (17)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-10 06:07 ID:VxUish70

Hello fellow anon, I've posted here before. This girl I met a month ago is kind of getting on my nerves. Why? Damn friendzone, but then, not 100%....very confusing it is.

Before and after our first date, when we were talking, she kept dropping hint after hint that she wanted us to stick together, and I was all like "Yeah, sounds great" and was really happy. But this was in conflict with one of her original statements when we first met, that she wasn't really looking for a relationship. I kept that in the back of my mind, but she still kept hinting so I went with it. Then she drops the bomb that although we are dating, she can't give me a relationship. It took a lot of self control to not say "WHAT THE FUCK BITCH? You misled me greatly with our earlier conversations". But I'm a rational man and realized the error was mine, so I'm just kind of going with it.

As you can tell, I'm in the Friendzone. But dammit, where the hell am I exactly? She was dating two other guys when she met me (shes not loose, shes not giving them relationsips either). She broke that news to me thinking I'd be angry, but I wasn't because I'm a rational person who realized that we weren't close enough for it to matter. Exclusivity is something you reach much further down the dating road. Long story short: she was dating 3 guys, now shes only dating one guy, me. But she doesn't want a relationship, she got burned by her first one. Are we friends? More than friends? Or is she just using me in the fucked up way women like to, because they think its possible to be just friends with guys? Sorry, I'm a little bent out of shape about this, its been bugging me for a while and I finally got to get it off my chest. Thanks -電気男

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-10 07:05 ID:/OFtyNrm

I personally think if she doesnt want anything with you, and that you know she has a rocky relationship record and you know how she handles things, you should think twice about liking her from today and on. Girls tend to do that, and sometimes they dont notice they are giving off signals to guys. And guys are by instinct pick up these signals.

I've been in your shoes before, girls giving off the wrong signals and you get into the friendzone. It really does suck, and girls just wont understand it. Guys need to be proactive in relationships, which is no doubt a hard thing to do. So dont be discouragaed, girls and relationships come and go.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-10 09:36 ID:L5ShG+Gl

dman i cant imagine how that feels.... knowing the girl you like is dating 2 other guys...sometimes i just dont understand why people play with other peoles feelings. but 電気 i think you need more time! dont give up now cos she said she doesn't want a relationship. in time maybe she might change her mind so keep it up! ^^

4 Name: Not A Secret Admirer : 2006-04-10 15:58 ID:Heaven

'Damn friendzone, but then, not 100%....'

In other words, she's got you so wrapped around her finger that you don't even realize you're completely in the friendzone.

'It took a lot of self control to not say "WHAT THE FUCK BITCH? You misled me greatly with our earlier conversations". But I'm a rational man and realized the error was mine, so I'm just kind of going with it.'

Which is exactly the problem. You're just 'going with it'. Maybe it takes self-control not to cuss someone out, but it takes a little bit of guts to stand up for yourself and tell her that this isn't what you showed up for.

Until you take this bull by the horns, you're just going to keep getting played like a fiddle.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-11 04:52 ID:fb5NuH+W

Hmmm.....Perhaps I can help you.

First of all, you are in the friendzone, but I have a simple fix.

Approach her and let her know that not only are you NOT her friend, but rather she has just made a mortal enemy for life for due to her overly presumptuous transgression.

Tell her that life is short and you refuse to be a glass dick in a jar and an emotional tampon for her. Then refuse to speak to her.

She'll either A: move on with her wretched life or B: Try her damndest to win YOU over so as not to be manless. She probably isn't even that good looking. If you are feeling this way, then yeah you could probably do better.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-11 08:14 ID:2WnhdeCp

And i thought I had it bad when I was 100% in the friendzone. I never realized that it could be so tough not being totally there. >>5's advice seems a bit...harsh..dont you think?

7 Name: Mireille guy : 2006-04-11 08:47 ID:PFrxe6Ru

it means you must go with the flow, court her and have sex. then think about wanting her in a relationship later.
you gotta take a definite stance and be agressive.
as 4>> said, "Until you take this bull by the horns, you're just going to keep getting played like a fiddle."

it helps knowing what she wants from a man. (she obviously doesn't want a serious relationship) ask her. then feed her what she said, repeat that to her as if they were your own words, and pointing out you have that what she wants.

Have sex with her then let her be, forget about her. She'll most surely come back receptive towards you.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-12 01:43 ID:RHKFTqED

another example of the fact that girls don't know wtf they want.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-12 03:32 ID:Q/Rz1ZYh

girls exactly know what they want, the problem is we dont have it.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-12 04:09 ID:AeG/vrwT

This is where you all have it wrong or at least half wrong.
It is true, girls do not know what they want. It is your job to tell them what they want.

No you don't want new expensive clothes, you want to wash dishes and make me a sandwich while I sit on my ass and play video games and unwind after a hard day at the office/slave pit/battlefield/poker shack

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-12 05:16 ID:B4PsG+6l

I think she's a fucking lesbian; what's this 'dating but not in a relationship' bullshit? At the very least she's abnormally stuck up. Screw her.

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-12 05:48 ID:RHKFTqED



13 Name: Mireille guy : 2006-04-12 05:51 ID:PFrxe6Ru

Women are women for a reason.
They don't have what they want because they are afraid of getting what they want. They expect men to know what they want and give it to them. Yes, I agree that men have to tell her what she wants, but there are ways and ways of doing that. It's all about making her believe we are what they want by "selling" ourselves in a certain "package". If she wants danger, mystery and rough guys, we have it. If she wants romance, sentimentalism, and cuddling, we have it. If she wants sex, sex, and sex, we have it too.
At least that's how it works. So yeah, ask her what she "wants". You can make her believe you have it.
But in the end, you'll end up changing FOR the girl BECAUSE of the girl. I still don't know if it's worth it. Some claim to become better men because of women...

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-12 07:34 ID:8zh4Hk6J


Wouldn't it depend on the guy and what he was then and now? If he appreciates the change, then in his terms it would be "worth it". I don't expect it to be the same for every guy, and I think the attributes that they would have changed would be different depending on who the girl/guy is.

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-13 11:06 ID:Heaven

>Until you take this bull by the horns, you're just going to keep getting played like a fiddle.

I think the mixed metaphor train just sailed.

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-14 03:52 ID:Heaven

You need to fuck the shit out of her for a while then "she'll be yours"

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-14 09:25 ID:Heaven

And you'll have a whole lot of shit. A win on both counts!

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