Everything BUT a kiss? (19)

1 Name: Andrei : 2006-07-20 02:20 ID:Zyt9r5Bq

Hey y'all,

Dear /b/,

One of the women I have been seeing for the past 2 months has a very strange thing: She will let me kiss her neck/shoulders, play with her hair, suck on her tits, finger her, lick her etc... but she will not let me kiss her on the lips. When I ask why not, she snakes around the question with some very vague thing or changes the subject.

What the fuck is wrong with her?

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-20 02:28 ID:8Xs6XY9I

She was raped by her brother when she was young.

3 Name: Andrei : 2006-07-20 02:30 ID:Zyt9r5Bq

Umm... I sure hope not, because her brother is a really cool guy, actually one of my friends.

4 Name: Einhander!anzteOw4H6 : 2006-07-20 03:09 ID:Heaven

Or her father. Or an uncle. Or some dude.

It's definitely an intimacy problem of some sort. THERAPY!

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-20 03:17 ID:jIw0nr14

Maybe she thinks she had bad breath? Or she's missing teeth, and thinks you might try to stick your tounge in her mouth?

Also, is she letting you have sex with her? Would you consider your relationship with her purely sexual, or is it also a loving one?

6 Name: Einhander!anzteOw4H6 : 2006-07-20 03:21 ID:Heaven

"One of the women I have been seeing for the past 2 months"

I assume it's a sexual one.

7 Name: Andrei : 2006-07-20 03:22 ID:Zyt9r5Bq

It is unclear at the moment. She tells me she loves me but we do not consider ourselves an official couple.

Breath is not an issue, and she doesn't have any missing teeth... so that's not it...

I honestly don't rule out abuse though, as she is just a liiiittle off kilter (can't really pinpoint it) and about 1 in 3 women in today's society is raped.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-20 03:29 ID:jIw0nr14

Hmm... rules out that, then.

I would just directly ask her about it, if you haven't already.

And it that doesn't work... THERAPY!

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-20 06:23 ID:Heaven

> Breath is not an issue

How is yours?

10 Name: Andrei : 2006-07-20 23:41 ID:Zyt9r5Bq

Fine, but I think I agree... I'm gonna just after confront her again about it and extract an answer from her, and if she still won't give me a straight answer... I'll slowly let her.

I've dated enough psychos in my time, I can't take another one.

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-21 06:35 ID:j1v1IsvT

"Pretty Woman" amirite?

Can't kiss the guy, for fear of being too emotionally attached?

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-21 10:18 ID:Heaven

And if you can't stand to let her go, but also can't stand that, just rape the kiss from her. ;)

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-21 16:08 ID:FYQZ9/gj

Raping a kiss is usally a bad idea, and shows that the person doing the raping has zero respect for you and your wished, and that your needs will happily be sacrificed at their whim.

tip: if it involves intimacy rape of any kind, whether gential+genitals or even just groping someone in spite of that they do NOT want you to, and you're very well aware of it... I don't think I need to end that sentence, now do I.

Therapy sounds like a good idea. Or just ask her to kiss you on the lips, both of you with closed mouths. Get her to do it often enough (by positive reinforcement, not punishing her if she doesn't "obey") so that she'll get used to it, and enjoy it quite a lot, and do it freely. Then work your way up to get her to kiss your closed lips, her using a more and more open mouth, and then gradually start kissing your more and more open mouth. Expect this process to take half a year from closed kiss to open mouth kisses.

Also, you should check if you have halitosis or anything.
She may not have a bad breath, but you might without realizing it. Do not feel embaressed or bad about it, as it was not your fault, just remedy it if that's the case.
It may also be an issue of your lips. Take care of them, ensure that they're soft and supple by using good lipbalm, and also brush your lips with your toothbrush when you brush your teeth, to clear away dead skin, and apply lip balm on them after that.

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-21 16:08 ID:FYQZ9/gj

*and your wishes

15 Name: Andrei : 2006-07-23 00:05 ID:Zyt9r5Bq

Well, she does come from a culture (Palestinian Arab) that frowns upon public displays of affection and has very strict guidelines for courtship, so that might have some affect on it...

...oh, and she recently admitted to me that she's Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. That might explain a LOT.

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-23 01:53 ID:X9UecPBg

Yeah. If she's like, /OH LORDY GERMS!/, she might be a bit squeamish about that.

Question: how do you do italics, anyway?

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-23 04:05 ID:Heaven


18 Name: Troll : 2006-07-27 04:44 ID:zoGwpcu8

>>1, maybe she wants to give her first kiss to her husband, or one true love or something. Let's face it, some girls are really idealistic and us guys can only hope to figure out what's running on their mind.

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-30 20:26 ID:Heaven

> It's definitely an intimacy problem of some sort. THE RAPEY!


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