This is based on good and bad experiences on both sides of the fence. And I'm not claiming that I get it right every time myself. Ohh, if only.

Dumpster's Tipsheet

So you're in an ongoing romantic and/or physical relationship (*) with a good person who treats you well. Good for you.

Alas, you want out. You're sure about that. And the dump-ee hasn't done anything horrible to deserve it.

So: now what? These are some suggestions on how to get from here to there:

1. Get it done. Sooner rather than later. 90% of class credit for this part.
2. No ambiguity. Tell them it's over. Do not budge on this point. It's really over, it's o-v-e-r. And as the dump-er, do not offer them a scaled-back relationship that still involves sex, such as a friends-with-benefits situation or similar. They are in a vulnerable place and will agree to something that's not right for them.
3. Don't do it when they are stuck spending any additional time with you that day/weekend/whatever. Don't even ask them if they want you to stay. They will say yes because they want you to stay in the relationship. But they really need you to leave the room (or get off the phone) so they can call up a good friend and go out and get smashed and rag on you for a couple hours and come to terms with it. This is one reason why I'm not sure the phone is really such a terrible choice.

You should leave even if they do ask you to stay and continue with some planned activity (not to be confused with running out on the actual breakup conversation).

4. You can't meet all of the above requirements via text messaging, IM or any other non-immediate or unreliable medium. So do it in person - or on the phone, if you have been comfortable having important conversations in the past. The phone has a lot of advantages with regard to #3 above.

However, if you are totally incapable of getting this done in person or on the phone, then an email or a letter... while not really acceptable... is infinitely better than not getting the job done. As long as you're sure it won't wind up in their spam folder, that is.

You may not, however, pat yourself on the back afterwards. Especially if you don't at least try to get it done in person or by phone.

5. Hear them out, but don't get dragged into reconsidering. Absent some radically new information.

6. Don't talk about how hard it is for you. Yes, it is hard for you. But asking them to sympathize with you at this moment is selfish. Call a friend if you need that. Also, the dumpee will just fixate on your alleged misery and want to know why you're dumping them if it's so darn hard for you.

7. Do not offer to stay friends unless you're 100% sure you actually want it. As in, actually still seeing and interacting with that person on a regular basis and giving them some of your time and energy. For reals. If not, "I'm sure I'll see you around" is much more honest.

In my circle, people usually do mean it when they decide to do the "we'll still be friends" thing. So it causes a lot of irritation and a sense of being dumped twice when the occasional twerp plays this line insincerely.

Easier said than done.

I had this sort of resolution but I failed 2,3,5, and 7

Oh.

FWB = ideal relationship

Just an add on, make sure the person you're dumping will be able to contact a good friend for support after the big breakup. Otherwise, they might take it out on either themselves, or you. Maybe tell a friend of his/hers first so that they can hang around so the dumpee doesn't try anything irrational.

>>6
FWB = ?

Friends with benefits.

Sage for promoting people to be with asses.

>"<

sage