-sighs- Well.. here it goes.
please be kind.
I met someone in a chatroom..(She's in higschool, i'm a college drop out who is working...) someone i had a very nice connection with for about a month and she just got out of a breakup.. we finally hit it on october and started going out since then.. (for about four months) but long distance.. she's from one country i was from another...we were madly in love with each other until the end of the relationship when i found her flirting with a friend on Myspace along with another friend... she said..
"If that's the way it's going to be we might as well break up..."
I then replied "If you're going to do it.. you might as well ditch me right now like everyone else did..."
Then she said she wanted time off and all of that.. and i said i was sorry for everything and i told her that's how i really was.. (which she already knew... ) but in the end we finally broke up...
a week after the breakup and no talking... we were kinda lovey dovey again thinking we were going to get back soon.. i went on the next day only to find out that she was to go to bed early and she kinda was a bit quiet...
now after not seeing her the day after that.. i went home early to see her and found out she was on the phone.. she said "Wait" after i said i was goign to leave and she left while i waited.. (usually she gets cut off by her dad's router and retires for the night but ever since the breakup i've been paranoid)
So iichan.. please tell me... i know i've dug my own grave but is there any way to salvage this....
OP here.. also she said she's confused about her sexuality... she also told me that she does want to be my girlfriend again but she doesn't know when and all of that.. and i got a few "I love yous" after that...
op yet again.. it's more of "I love you but i can't be in love with you" .__,.
Now she doesn't text message or reply to my emails.. should i keep distance... i'm sorry. op again in paranoia.
you realise asking here for relationship advice is like asking in a bar how to quit drinking
It's spelt "realized" and well. there's almost nowhere else to turn to for me.. please iichan.. give me pointers. ._.
Well, first off, it's a long distance relationship, correct? I mean, different countries, if I caught that correctly? That... can cause a lot of strain on keeping any relationship..
I wouldn't say you've dug your own grave or anything... You've done nothing really wrong, as long as you didn't go overboard flipping out over finding out she was flirting with someone else online.. If you just told her you were a little uncomfortable with that, you're perfectly within your rights to feel that way...
It seems like right now, she's not sure what she wants... Frankly, my assumption would be there's people locally or even friends online, who she's considering, and she's looking for a way to keep you as an option, sort of a backup plan...
If you really want to push it, and you feel that your relationship with her has potential (you've got to do some serious thought on that, tho, if you're in different countries & all), you can always be bluntly honest, saying that "I can't wait forever for you to make up your mind and keep me waiting for an answer"...
Now, I wouldn't worry over this if she just isn't responding all in the course of one night... Just because someone isn't responding to chats/txtmsg/e-mail doesn't mean they're avoiding you, just that they might be actually busy... But if it's over time you aren't getting responses, then I'd say it means she's keeping her distance, while staying close, like I said earlier...
Good luck, no matter what way it takes from here!
Yes.. this is long distance...Thanks number 7 for your thoughts.. alot of my friends are saying that.. and i really do want to re-ignite our relationship.. but i dunno.. i think you're right too about there may be other people there but i don't want to think of it that way... because i'm just.. a jealous caveman.. lately she's been very mum to me and i really want to just push it against her but i can't.. because all she does is get angry if i do and it may foil my chances even more.. oh yes her not responding has been for a week now..s ome people think i've been bothering her so i tried to keep it to at least one text a day or none at all... i'm still distressed and paranoid... as for flipping out.. i just told her i jsut wanted her attention.. and asked why couldn't she give me that as she would to her myspace people...
extra note. i also asked if she wanted me to move there as soon as next year about a few months when we were together.. she said she'd like it but when i asked her how bout sooner she said no not year because her parents might find out...
hmm... I would think it would need to be a much more solid relationship, a serious one without any occasional flirting on the web & such, before ever considering moving countries to be with someone... Especially if she's so concerned about her parents finding out...
It's hard enough to get on your feet in a foreign country if you have a solid job lined up or at least a full education to get one in that country, and the support and love of someone living there, I would think it nigh impossible if you're going there to be with & support someone who's afraid of her parents finding out... Let alone the fact that if she changed her mind or somesuch, you'd be stranded, and even moreso on your own... That would be a very bad situation...
This is not iichan. This is Channel 4.
That's all.
If she was flirting online the one time you caught her, there is an EXTREMELY good chance that she had done it many times before. You said that you MET online.
Can you begin to see the connection here?
If this is a long distance relationship and she is likely to cheat, not only will she be tempted, but you will never know if she does. Chances are she likes you somewhat and she likes having a boyfriend, but she doesn't like it enough to not shop around.
You can choose whether you want to be uncertain or end it.
I know i will get flamed for this.. but i never felt close to such a person in my life..I never trusted someone so much.. even my IRL girlfriend... i love her so much that it still hurts when she just ignores me... please iichan.. pray for me.. pray this all goes well... thank you... now she is ignoring me on another phone call .___.