>>1
I fell in love with a girl years ago, and since the beginning it was clear that it would never work. Still, every day after school I would hug my pillow and weep for reason no other than her being the most wonderful thing.

I tried to make the feeling go away by masturbating to fantasies of torturing and killing her. This went on for a long time. After five years, I told her about how I felt for her and she rejected me.

Currently, I am not sure anymore of whether or not she ever even existed in the first place. It is as if she has vanished into thin air, and luckily it seems that the feelings I had for her have done the same.