Basically, where we are at in this conversation is R/L women and their intolerance of female objectification, am I right? Have you spoken with R/L fujoushi? These girls objectify anime/J-rock men to an extent that I'd deem just as unhealthy as the extreme objectification of women male otaku enjoy with their eroanime merchandise.

Has everyone on this board only met with yuppie prep girls and extreme feminists?? When you describe "girl geeks", I can hardly believe that you've met a real, hardcore fujoushi. If anything, the hardest part of getting a fujoushi interested is proving that you can give her more than her eyecandy yaoi fantasies. Fujoushi don't care about objectification; they objectify men just as much as otaku objectify women. The question they're more likely to ask is if you are ready to worship their bodies and their sexuality as easily as you are able to worship the bodies and sex of these ink and paper beauties.

Further than that, I can see both otaku and fujoushi having difficulties relating to their mates as people rather than things to be used. Neither one is all that interested in reality and its inconveniences. Nothing is more inconvenient than compromising ones lifestyle to include the wants and needs of another person.

That said, my suggestion to any hardcore fan is to take a hard look at their romantic priorities. Are you ready to accept another person's life as a part of your own? Can you put your needs aside for someone else's sake? Is having the warmth and support of another person worth having to support and cherish them? The reason young teens go ga-ga over boy bands and pop stars is that they aren't ready for another person in their lives and so vent their sexual frustration in fantasy. This is where the otaku and fujoushi seem to be permanently(?) stuck. Decide whether you are ready to move past this. If not, continue with your fantasy. You won't be hurt this way, but sometimes you really do need to hurt to feel anything at all.