Should I break it off with my boyfriend, who’s possibly too good for me? Read and decide.
I’m a college underclassman—mildly geeky, I watch Simpsons episodes and read books in my spare time. I don’t go to drinking parties, don’t have one night stands, and I haven’t made any bad decisions lately.
My boyfriend, a college upper classman, is an anti-social gamer but a very kind and easygoing guy, and quite the gentleman. We’ve known each other since high school and we’ve been dating (long distance, meeting during Christmas and summer) for about two years now.
Both of us are Inexperienced in every sense of the word; although we have our sexual moments, we’re both virgins (generally b/c the fear of pregnancy cannot be put from out minds). (My point is, it’s not a lustful relationship.)
About a year ago he asked if I’d wait to marry him, after we both graduate college and have our first jobs. Being bluntly honest, I gave him a tentative yes, and said I’d inform him if I changed my mind.
I’m thinking of changing my mind.
Why?? It’s true that he’s a Nice Guy and we’ve never fought, and I’m at my happiest when I’m around him. Also true, is that I’m not head over heels in love with him—I see other guys on campus, and I consider striking up flirtatious conversations with them, as I did before I was In a Relationship. But out of respect for my boyfriend, I truly abstain. (Some girls “don’t cheat”, but go out frequently with a certain Someone Else to movies etc. I don’t even do that. Heck, I even dress conservatively on campus so guys won’t be taken in by my cleavage.)
But I feel like I’m missing out.
Can I have it both ways? Can I eat lunch, maybe sit together on a dorm couch and watch a movie, with some other guy… and then return to my boyfriend in the summer?
Or should I break up with my boyfriend, maybe date some guy on campus, and then return home to an empty summer?
This might seem like an absurd question, but I’ve given a lot of thought to what’s socially accepted as ‘cheating’ and what’s “typical college female behavior”. I’ve been entirely selfless up until this point, but I don’t want to break my boyfriend’s heart. But, I don’t think I can live with a relationship that hangs over me, sustained by a Promise of a future union.