Tonight I did something for which I can never forgive myself. I met a girl I really like and have been on a blind date with in the basement of a dorm. She was doing laundry alone. We were talking, really hitting it off, and we walk up the stairs to go to her room. Then, for NO REASON, I turn up the next flight of stairs and say I'm meeting someone. I don't even think about it, the words just come out of my head. She gives me a strange look and says goodbye.

Now all this is running through my head and I realize I've done this countless times before. I sit up at lunch and leave a girl to eat by herself... I'm walking back after a movie with someone I really like, she opens the door and invites me in, and I say I'd rather go to bed... I always kick myself after these things happen but I don't know how to stop myself. I can't control every word I say. I go on autopilot and slip into "conversation mode" and apparently part of that is running away if I'm getting nervous that the conversation might actually lead somewhere.

Is there anything I can do about this? I feel so crappy, I'm almost crying. Am I just going to have to learn to catch myself? Should I tell her to stop me the next time I try to cop out like that, or is that creepy?