I am an 18 year old male. I go to the local LBGT club once a week, on "industrial night" when it's free. I'm not gay, but industrial night brings plenty of straight people, who are mostly within the goth/punk/non-prep community.
I started going about a month ago, and had problems with the courage to dance with anyone besides my guy friends (we grind and stuff. they're gay, I'm not, and they know that, but I'm okay with it because it's fun). Recently though I've been getting over my lack of self confidence and danced with a couple of girls (who were friends of a friend) and ended up making out with one of them.
This particular girl is 20, is rather chubby (not an issue with me) and really short. She smokes cigarettes and has a child (I don't know how old. 2 years maybe. Anyway, I did know this before I danced with her / made out with her.
The thing that is bothering me is the fact she has a kid. I've only been in one relationship before (lasted 2.5 years) and kind of left me with a sour taste for girls. I'm moving away in a month as well. All of these combined has made me kind of unsure about whether or not this is a good idea. Even if I tell her that I'm moving before hand, I'm afraid that I will break her heart.
Bleh. I am so confused. What should I doooooo ;_;
Faggit
I say it's a bad idea.
If you really liked her and saw a future with her then the kid might not be a problem, but the fact that you're moving says that this will just end up as something casual, which won't be good for any of you, especially her kid.
End it now, not only so you don't get mixed up in something that's so serious you're not ready for it, but also so you don't end up hurting her kid.
I agreed to going to the zoo with her, her kid, and her friend tomorrow. :x
I lol @ "end it" because there is nothing between us. It just fell into this. There is no relationship, there is nothing. It's all just casual and assumed right now.
I didn't mean end it in the sense of ending a relationship, but rather end any romantic contact you might be considering before you even act on it.
let her know up front that you're moving away soon and don't want to have to maintain a long distance relationship, but would like to be close friends with benefits if shes alright with it. the answer may surprise you
The results may also be surprisingly not what you expected. With the close friends with benefits package(which is virtually relationship without promises) comes certain risks, others would call it bonuses or further benefits. Like for instance, actual affection, caring, love, wants and needs more deeply rooted than might be convinient with your plans.
You could potentially go from having a sour taste for girls to an extra sour taste for yourself in this affair.
Yeah she's cute, and you're certainly both horny, and I'm sure she'd ride your cock straight into family life if you let her. Who knows what she's looking for, a father for her kid, but will you hear that from her lips? Nah, people are dishonest, ...end it
-Smokes
-Fat
-Has a kid
-Goes clubbing
I dunno, call me a jerk but that's not cute.
Her face is cute. :o
And I have a fetish for fatties. xD
And I love the smell of cigarrette smoke.
And our LBGT club is awesome.
But, most importantly, I'm a desperate fucker.
That is what I'm worried about -- getting into some friend with benefit thing, and then either of us wanting more, but most importantly her wanting more and then the pain coming onto her from that.
Rawrg. But I am terribly horny. x_x
Just be very very clear about your expectations. Tell her what you'd want and if she doesn't want it or seems like she wouldn't be okay with it, then don't do it. Since she has a kid she could be just as desperate for a fuck as you are.
Whatever you do, just don't meet the kid.
Mothers are looser 'down there' than non-mothers.
And single moms are always trying to con guys into acting as fathers for their kids.
Failsauce all around.
Well, we hung out yesterday. I did meet the kid, but she was not even old enough to walk on her own. (I dunno how old she was, I don't know anything about kids). I told her that I was going to move soon after we got together (before we had the chance to do anything physical).
Then we saw a movie, and then we watched TV at her place.
I was too unsure about how she felt about me moving, so I didn't try to get cuddly with her. But we made out when she walked me out.
Next time I see her I'll have the expectation talk with her.
>>12
You know, I find those premises strangely arousing AND attractive. Single mothers are so cute. Even while not entirely so they still, out of nessecity have a lot of mature qualities about them. They need to be responsible about their actions for more than just their own sake and are often more serious about relationships than other girls. Yet, due to the very fact that they are single, perhaps abandoned, they still have somewhat a fear of commitment and are a bit emo about guys and their intentions. Needing, hoping but still afraid. Future uncertain. It's the kind of situation that makes me want to get my own shit together, someone else to care for and assure that everything will be alright.
I want someone to save, something to fix, not just be a part of someones already perfect life. That's fucking boring. I like challenges, it has to mean something.
>>13
You'll be a spare-daddy before you know it son.
I just suggested staying far away from the kid because no matter what goes on between you and the mother, the kid in no way needs to be a part of the drama. But if it can't even walk, then there's not a real danger of that. However, I also think it would just lead to her thinking you would make a bigger commitment if you are interacting with the kid.
Yeah, don't put the talk off. Have it the very next meeting. You don't need to blurt it out right when you see it, but before you start fucking you should have already both talked everything out. Good luck.
I totally see what you mean. Some single chick can up and dump you whenever she fucking feels like (whether it be because you're getting something on the side or she's not having a good day) but that single teen mom will hang on and care for you a little bit more.
I'll probably move back down here in a year or two so I can go to college, and I'll spend my time up there thinking about whether or not I want a serious relationship with the chick and her kid. (Although my parents might not go for it)
OP, it sounds like you're trying to talk yourself into this no matter what anyone here says.
And this:
>Some single chick can up and dump you whenever she fucking feels like (whether it be because you're getting something on the side or she's not having a good day) but that single teen mom will hang on and care for you a little bit more.
This is a weird thing to say. You shouldn't think like that.
I think you're just desperate to get your rocks off OP but haven't much experience in that department. Sounds to me like you need to get more straight friends maybe? No offense but I'm sure you can do better.
IT IS THE FIRST RULE OF PLAYING TO NOT WET YOUR DICK IF YOU THINK THE BITCH IS DIRTY
I'm 26 with a good job, seeing a 19 year old with a 3 year old kid. She dropped out of HS and has a defiant teen attitude that gets her fired from her jobs and hairstyle/piercings that make people not want to hire her. The kid is a little monster. Won't shut the fuck up or stop destroying stuff and she believes that calmly talking will set the kid straight.
What's really funny is I've been getting a strong "I want to leave" vibe from her for the past three months. But I know she can't leave me because she can't afford to. I think it's kinda hot.
>>21
Does she still sleep with you? If so, you're right, that IS hot.
I believe they said it best in True Lies. "DITCH THE BITCH!" She can't get her head around being a bit more responsible and maybe little more mature, and sort herself out. If you've even tried to sort her out and that hasn't worked, then don't hold on to her, she's bad news.