Yeah, I told myself that I'm through with her, but it's kinda hard when she still hangs out with me when she's free, and needs me to be with her when she's down. Right now, she's down.
>she's heading down a terrible path now, especially with this guy.
It's funny that you should say that...
Well, it's not "terrible" in the truest sense of the word, but she is miserable.
I was at home earlier tonight when she calls me. She's sobbing, and I can barely understand what she's saying. She asks me to stay with her for a bit, and I start the drive to her place.
I get to her place, and it's dark, save for the glow from her laptop screen. She looks like she's been crying for a while. This would make it the second time in as many weeks that this has happened, and the second time I had to sit with her like this. She's quite the crier, but I'm the only friend she'll show herself to when she's sobbing her eyes out. She still likes her boyfriend, but he hasn't changed since the last time they broke up. And she's trying really hard to make it work, but he just doesn't see it the same way she does, I guess. They had a fight, and she's feeling torn about her feelings for him, and the fact that things just aren't going the way she wants them to. Her self-esteem is shot. I try to console her and boost her self-esteem and tell her it'll be ok, but it's not working. I settle for holding her tight as we lie down on her sofa.
At this point, a few things run through my head. The part of me that's her friend just wants her to be happy. The other part that's trying to forget about my feelings for her sees this as very inconvenient. And the other part that still wants her, well, still does.
But I don't say anything to her in that regard. She's got too much to think about.
She starts to feel a little better. I get her to joke, turn on the lights and the TV for a while.
Her boyfriend texts her. He's coming over. It's time for me to go. I ask her if she'll be ok, and she said she thinks so. I apologize for not being able to help. She tells me not to apologize. She hurries me out, and I oblige; I don't wanna be around this, good or bad.
I'm not here to ask for any specific advice. I still want to get over my attraction to her. Sometimes I wish she didn't rely on me so much. It would make it easier to forget about her.
Frustration is the word of the day.