>I've been in a "relationship" before where it was very sexual and was quite unfulfilling.

This can often happen. Actually I bet you stayed a bit longer "because" sex was kind of working, and if you didn't have that glue, it would have been finished earlier. Sex provides support for a relationship, but cannot be the only thing bonding the couple.

>sex was not uncommon, it certainly wasn't everyday.

I think you don't need to have sex everyday, for it to be fulfilling. It does not even need to always be memorable. It should simply be a treat that you regularly exchange with your partner. A regular "happiness" shot.

>she was one of the few girls I think I've ever loved[...] Something I'll never recapture[...]and of all the things I remember most. Sex wasn't one of them[...]of all the things I've done in life.....Sex isn't even in the top ten.

I guess this is where we are kind of misunderstanding each other. If you had to rate the 10 best thing in your life, I guess drinking water would miss the top list, but you won't go very far without it. I'm not saying that sex should be your main purpose in life, but that it's an important component of a relationship, which itself is often the most interesting and important element for your life. Just like helping with the house chores is not part of your top activities, but is instrumental in maintaining a good relationship.

As for the "Something I'll never recapture. I'll never be that young again...", I have the impression you are being a bit over dramatic. Would it really be so good to have the same thing happening to you again, probably with the same bad outcome? You'll never be the same, and that's probably a good thing. Nothing prevents you from meeting someone interesting today, apart from yourself closing up to such a possibility.

>"making love" is not the same as having love. That's what confounds most people.

I thought this was mostly an issue with women, and that men can very well distinguish both...