I found this forum just recently and became a lurker. I am sorry if this is in the wrong section ^^;
Anyways, I like this guy for almost 4-5 years now (back during high school-- grade 10 to be exact). We never met nor talked to each other. I think the first time I ever saw him was in our high school's cafeteria. After that, I just kept seeing him a lot around the school until I became curious of him. I remember one night, I found my grade 9 year book and I was flipping through pages and I saw his picture and got his name. So I did my homework and found out he was a year older than me. I guess you can say he was somewhat part of the "cool kids" and was involved playing basketball. I kept watching him from a far (no I was not following him but when I would see him in the cafeteria, I would just watch him until he leaves). During his last year in our high school, there was a last basketball game and he was playing. I didn't go for some reason and I still regret it now.
So years go by and he graduated. During my senior year, I felt lonely and I would always tell my friends that I long to see him-- even for a second. That actually came true during the last month of my senior year. He came over to visit my school (and I'm guessing to play basketball at our school court because it was a nice day and he wore basketball clothes?). I remember how happy I was when I first saw him. I saw him with his twin talking to my middle school friend and when I was about to say hi to my friend (attempted to meet him that moment), my crush left before I even got to say hi. I didn't know that it will be the last time I'll see him.
I thought of giving him up a lot until one day I said to do it but I realized it was harder than I thought.
One day, I was on the train, I told myself to give him up and so I did. That day, I remember coming a cross a court of people playing basketball which made me remember him more. That same night when I watched Ugly betty, I heard his name a lot and I thought of him more. I realized that everything around me starting to remind him of what I knew of him (basketball for example).
A year went by, my part time work got very demanding and I started thinking of him less. While I was going to attend my 9:30 morning class, I remember I was running late and I started to walk really fast until I walked passed a parked white van and I thought I saw a glimpse of him through the windshield (and I was sure he was looking at me when I saw him). I ignored it saying to myself that I was hallucinating but later on, it began to bother me. 2 months ago, while I was working during a busy summer day, I saw him walking pass my store and I remember running out of my store and when I try to see glimpse of him, I saw his back until he was lost in the crowd.
When facebook became a hit, I thought for fun I would look him up and so I did. I found him but he disabled his account (for about 2 years until recently) couple of weeks later when I saw it. I feel like it's time for me to move on but I can't move on when I feel like this. Recently I thought of sending him a random message on facebook (using a mule facebook account-- I don't have the courage to tell him on my original account) telling him that I like him but I'm so indecisive that I turned to my two best friends. One said "don't do it, it's too creepy" and the other said "go for it". I know it would be creepy probably at his point of view but to me, I feel like it's the only way for me to move on. I guess I'm curious to hear what his answer would be (well if he ever replied back) but still, I'm kind of confusing.
so my question is: should I do it? Should I confess to him on facebook? (since that's the only way I CAN talk to him after all).
I really need advices. I know you guys might read this and find it very silly but your input about this is very important to me. I'm willing to listen to anything you guys have to say before I make my decision.