There was a time not too long ago, I want to change myself and seek social friends, which was a few months ago, I decided once I finally have all the neccessary parts and to complete and assemble my doll, Shinku. Once I'm with her, I would promise myself to change myself, physically and mentally, that was what I planned some time ago during a time of deep depression. But this plan falls short because I just have found a goal I need to achieve, to be an artist, so i need to learn to draw after I come back from work. Work is very tiring for me, after I get back home I'm very tired, I barely have energy to draw. Drawing is very hard. It takes all your concentration and energy to focus on your drawing. I hardly can find time to do other things, I could but that would require to not draw. It's constantly a dilemma in my life, deciding. I think Shinku would understand if I didn't change in an instant when she is completed, I think she would respect my decision, even if I can't be a sociable person.
It's very hard if not impossible to find friends for me. I doubt I could find real friends, even come and go friends and acquaintances in real life. And people on the net arent serious about it, and fact that it takes alot of risk and trust issues.
If you want to know where I practice drawing, I'm practising it on Gaia Online art forum, where I can post my own pictures.