OP here, I was sure I'd get misunderstood. I didn't mean I like to see other people's pain... That's what I tried to explain with this :
>I'm not some moron troll, thinking "ah ah ah what a bunch of losers", nor do I enjoy pain (well I guess not), but I'm so happy to see I'm not the only one having such stupid thoughts (cause they are, after all, objectively speaking), like "oh noes I have to kill myself cause I won't do anything in my life" or so.
I'm not sadistic, I just find funny how people, INCLUDING ME, can end up with such stupid, as I said, thoughts, like killing oneself. I don't enjoy it, well not in this way, I just like that life can have darker sides like these too.
>It's funny to hear people say they have no friends and no social life when they mention of their friends.
Ok, so I sometimes talk to her on MSN, she never comes when I invite her to a movie, and apart from her I have only one real friend. Can I call myself friendless, now ?
I know my life and my attitude towards people, I know how many friend I have, and that I could have more, and what I should do to, etc... I know what I say, so please. My post wasn't about this anyway.
>>5, no, that's not "optimistic". That's just some term I use to describe certain people with a certain mindset, I guess since it's quite random and not completely clarified in my mind exactly what the concept is, I guess I shouldn't use it. I find sportsmen are often like this, at least here in France. I didn't say those people were any bad, nor that I'm better, it's just... well, like the "emo" term, which groups some people under some qualifications, even if they are completely different; it's an expression of mine.
...This said, I agree that I might be fooling myself in thinking I'm really not enjoying seeing people suffer. At least I know the opposite is true, I generally find myself uneasy with happy people (especially when drunk, I never got drunk). I always find rejected, I have this image in my mind that they will begin to leave having fun all together while I'm behind, and that they will forget me. Things like this happened to me several times. (I know, I should do this and that, I'm just realizing that now, at 20... :/)
So when I hear other people's problems, I find them more "human", I find out I'm not the only one, etc... I feel they're "closer to me" (not affectively).
I'm a bit embarassed by this cause of course 1) that's not a correct way to be happy, and 2) that's something far-right politicians use quite often, to be "closer to the people" and stuff, I don't vote right, but that bothers me to be like this... To put it bluntly, it's sort of I like to see people weak, because I think I am. (ooh that was harsh :.)
Last paragraph, I know I should do something about it and all that, I certainly will in due time anyway, I don't want advices, I posted this because I found what I explained in this board. I figured some might recognize themselves in this and find what they feel expressed in words, the same way it happens sometimes to me. Sorry for long post, hope this works.