22 (soon to be 23) year old dropout here.

I was on a continual slide into depression and social isolation from 10th grade to 12th grade in high school. By 12th grade I had given up all friends (literally ditched the few I had), had no one to sit with at lunch (went to library or walked halls), and had no social circle whatever. I had learned to be completely alone and independent. Eventually this grew into fear of any form of interaction with other people at all. I was catatonically depressed by graduation. Didn't go to the graduation ceremony, didn't have my photo taken, didn't get a yearbook.

I had no job this whole time. I spent most of the time in my basement room, lights off, A/C unit set to 64 degrees. Sometimes internetting, sometimes watching tv, sometimes trying to fall asleep even though I wasn't tired. Just coping with and accepting loneliness.

I managed to apply to only one college, a 4th tier shit state school. I was unenthusiastic, just going through the motions. I drove there with my dad for the orientation, unenthusiastic the whole ride. It was a life changing event. I was plucked from my safe routine, my pattern of living that necessitated zero social interaction or dependency. For the first time in years I was thrown out to fend for myself without a fallback. The defining point of the experience was when I had finished one orientation class and did not know my way to the next classroom on the agenda. Instead of asking for directions, I found a cafeteria table to sit at alone. I sat there for over an hour, silently, staring at a clock. I did this because I had lost the ability to talk to people. I didn't have the courage to simply ask someone to show me the room. I was too used to my safe patterns.

Soon after I met up with my dad. I basically clung to him (so as to have a safe fallback) while we sat through one more orientation speech. I learned during that speech that freshmen were going to separate from their parents and go spend a night in the dorms. That was the it. I couldn't do that. I told him I'd made up my mind: I'm going to community college, then I'll transfer. Drive me home, I can't take any more of this. I was conscious, during every agonizing second, that this was a crossroads that I would remember for the rest of my life.

My dad and I didn't speak a single word to each other during the 4 hour trip back home.

I eventually went through 2 semesters of community college, during which I continued the cycle of complete social isolation that I had perfected during high school. I even walked out during one assignment that required us to get in groups. My biology professor, on the last day of class, took me outside the room and told me to "get help."

I transfered to a local university after those 2 semesters. I waffled between majors (IT, CompSci, others) and never formally declared a major. I was still living in the same basement room, still the same pattern of friendless isolation. NO campus events, parties, every free moment alone in my house. My room became a mental prison.

Anyway I had a breakdown during the 3rd semester. I stopped signing up for classes, and I've only had one 1 job (host at a restaurant) since. I have no friends. I type to you now from the same (parents' basement) room, the same computer, as before.