2 Name: Anonymous : 2008-04-04 10:30 ID:tnpu3nza [Del]
Well, he's my story.
I'm a 21 year old male college dropout. In literally the last couple weeks of my freshman year at a Eastern community college, I dropped out after realizing that I didn't have any idea what I really wanted to do with my life and decided that I would commit suicide instead.
Still living at home and still working my high school job in retail for barely more than minimum wage, I became a recluse and slept all day, only waking to go to my job, eat, piss, and reassure my mother that I was fine. Why in the hell she believed me each time I do not know, but I don't blame her for anything. Except not putting any money aside at any point to help pay for college.
Your story mirrors mine all too closely. I could copy paste the rest with a few words changed but it's about 95% the same. When ever I talk to old friends it still feels like I'm stuck in high school while they're graduating from college and getting married.
That being said, I know what you're going through all too well. My daily pattern is head home from work, go to bed, wake up and eat and mope around the house til I have to go to work again. It's sad that my life revolves around work but I hate going to work more than anything else.
My advice is not to die. This should be your first and foremost goal. I'll be honest I struggle with this one a lot due to the fact that I could just jump off the roof of my job and be done with it. If you lived in my area you'd see me staring down from the roof sometimes smoking a cigarette.
2nd, I'd try the medication. Perhaps the meds can help you get a new outlook in life and help you focus on things such as moving on with your life.
3rd, if you're feeling stuck in your current situation, try and find a new one. Government office jobs often give good pay, good benefits and entry level local government job don't take much more than a HS diploma and a year or two of office experience from what I've seen when I applied.
Everything's not lost. It may feel like things are hopeless at times but as long as you're alive you have a future.