I keep running through my head all the reasons I should be happy. I have an awesome boyfriend, who's been rock solid for three years, and I have a trust fund set aside for me for when I go to college so I don't have to worry about anyhting but living. I have a good relationship with family members, good friends who I enjoy spending time with, and a great area to live in with plenty to do. But no matter how well I look on all of it, I feel so damn shallow, like something is missing. Its been driving me crazy, and I just can't stand smiling through it all like nothing is up. The worst is biting down the urges to create conflict, making things difficult on purpose because I don't know what else to do. I feel like I'm going to have to start jumping off buildings, with all this weird stir crazy/paranoid energy pumping me up.