Try drugs.
Psychedelics can be an eye opening experience. Or just do something for fun. You owe it to you, even if just to experience it before you kill yourself. You don't sound like you have any connections though, but if you look hard enough you can probably find something on the internet. At least for weed and shrooms I found a trustworthy source from canada, but there should be more drugs if you're willing to look around. I already ordered shrooms one time myself and I'm still not in jail.
There are even legal, but still less known drugs like gbl, which with its strong mood lifting properties might actually be useful to you.
If you think lacking self confidence is a major problem with your social skills you might want to try stimulants. They will boost your confidence making it much easier to say what you think. Heck, even caffeine helps! Just stay away from coke or meth.
And if you don't give a shit about anything, good ol' weed might make for some nice days at least. I love watching anime or playing games on weed. It's like it sucks you totally in. You really feel like you're part of it.