Welcome To The NHK! (15)

1 Name: Bookworm : 2021-02-07 05:26 ID:nK+V/uX3

Have any of you on here read the original Welcome To The NHK novel by Tatsuhiko Takimoto?

5 Name: Bookworm : 2021-02-12 22:45 ID:ExwyfVm+

haha I'm in the hikikomori boat for a very long time, I've successfully pushed everyone that I cared about or felt they cared about me in manipulative ways; anybody I did that to won't ever want to contact me again. I've made "friends" with some manipulative people and I'm egging them on to ruin my entire existence as I pretend to be ignorant about everything that they're doing to my life and everything that's going on around me.
I enjoy destroying myself in ways that others would find repulsive.

don't care if this is off-t0pic; my existance is going to be over soon-ish anyways.haha

6 Name: Bookworm : 2021-02-12 23:09 ID:ExwyfVm+

the only reason i exist is to suffer reality is a joke all of humanity is slowly fading away into nonexistence. there is beauty in extinction.

7 Name: Bookworm : 2021-02-12 23:26 ID:ExwyfVm+

im been in a manipulative situation my entire existence all I know about relationships is based off of manipulation;I want to hurt myself in ways that fuck myself over entirely such as running our of money and being forced into the streets or making those I live distrust me, death by a thousand cuts in order to make them despise my existence to the point of my existence being completely unbearable to them. i want to feel despair i can't help but to manipulate others in order to get what I want at this point and all what I want is to do harm to myself and manipulate others into manipulating me to do so. i always get what, its easy when what i do to myself is what normal people avoid by instinct i deserve i always got what i deserved.

8 Name: Bookworm : 2021-02-13 00:04 ID:ExwyfVm+

nobody I know will read this post so i dont care.
i ruined myself financially by wasting money on things that I hate and hurt myself with those things; i intentionally looked at things I wanted and then bought something I didn't want at 2x retail price.
I should be brain-dead with the amount of drugs ive overdosed on, it didn't matter what drug I took, tylenol, antidepressants, opioids, psychedelics, it did not matter as long as it was in my posession, i stopped doing this but I would hoard prescriptions and take around 5x my perscribed dose for a couple of days before stopping suddenly and doing it again.
my family have all emotionally abused me since I can remember, scaring me with suicide and divorce at times, they got less direct with their manipulation as time went on.
I don't deserve friends. I deserve manipulation.
I deserve to be hurt, I want to be hurt.
I don't need people.

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