>>668 is the default costume for entertainers in Roller Coaster Tycoon
#include <stdpanda.h>
>>675 wants to show you his pokeymans, because he thinks this will keep you from noticing that he is a panda.
>>677 is a primordial proto-panda living on the Earth's single continent, Pandagea.
>>679 is a lovely green panda with blue shades and sunglasses at night.
>>682 is a panda who once performed on Top Of The Pops, only miming however.
>>683 is a panda capable of making his own TV remotes from pure bamboo.
>>685 is an imaginary panda, which is the square root of a negative panda.
>>686 is not negative at all--he's the most positive panda you'll ever meet.
>>688 is the original Type-00 panda prototype, on which all other pandas are based.
>>699 is a panda who tells riveting stories to younger pandas.
>>700 is the acclaimed author of 'Pataphysics For Pandas. It was written with a pen he fashioned himself from a bamboo shoot.
>>707 is a cheeky panda who sells generic brand multivitamins as ecstasy at raves.
>>710 is a top-notch panda who can always find time for his friends.
>>712 refuses to play Dynasty Warriors as it reminds him of his home country where his family was slaughtered by poachers.
Also his paws are too big to hold a controller.
>>715 climbs up on roofs and can never get down beacuse he's a panda with vertigo
>>716 is a master of the Drunken Panda Fist style of interpretive martial dancing.
>>719 Is in panda prison for serving panda beer to someone under the legal age.
>>720 is a panda who gets a headache from watching 3D movies.
>>721 is the subject of this song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UskZAppqGPc&feature=related
>>725 died shortly after announcing the much-anticipated iPanda 4S.
>>726 has difficulty operating his new iPhone because, as a panda, he lacks opposable thumbs.
>>727 doesn't particularly care about Steve Jobs' death. This is probably because he is a panda.
I actually learned of the death of SJ through DQN.
Also, >>733 is baitang.
The giant >>737, or >>737 (Aopoda melanoleuca, literally meaning "black and white cat-foot") is a bear native to central-western and south western China. It is easily recognized by its large, distinctive black patches around the eyes, over the ears, and across its round body. Though it belongs to the order Carnivora, >>737's diet is 99% bamboo. >>737s in the wild will occasionally eat other grasses, wild tubers, or even meat in the form of birds, rodents or carrion. In captivity they may receive honey, eggs, fish, yams, shrub leaves, oranges, or bananas along with specially prepared feed.
>>739 stars in panda porn, which are movies depicting pandas mating, intended to promote sexual arousal in captive Giant Pandas. Under zoo conditions, pandas have in general proven unenthusiastic about mating, placing their species in danger of extinction.
I don't get it
>>744 doesn't know how to make the sad panda go away. Baka! Baka!
>>746 really needs to get off his backside and learn the rest of the カタカナ characters. Sadly, he never will, because he is a panda.
>>749 refuses to have sex, much to the dismay of the zookeepers.
Zookeepers showed panda pr0nz to >>750, but he would rather watch anything else on TV.
>>751 is a sedentary panda who watches too much television altogether.
>>752 goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says "But, doctor...I am Pagliacci." And the doctor said, "No. You're a panda."
>>753 makes quality posts inbetween sleeping and stuffing his face with bamboo.
>>755 is the panda whose picture is engraved on the bronze plaque on the Voyager space probe.
From an early age, >>756 always showed a great affinity for pandas. He would spend hours watching nature documentaries in the hopes of catching a glimpse of one of these majestic creatures. He led a solitary childhood, and grew to become a social outcast. He knew he was irrevocably different from his peers. While they were out inebriating themselves and having casual sex, he spent his free time gorging himself on bamboo shoots bought from the local oriental supermarket. They could never understand. He was a panda at heart, and they were mere humans.
Years later, he dropped out of college and lived on his own. He dreamed about how his life could have been and lamented the cruelty of fate. He cursed his hairless monochrome body; his nimble pinkish hands; his stomach's inability to digest raw bamboo.
One night, he could take it no longer. He made plans to throw himself off the nearest bridge into a deep gorge. He whiled away his last hours on the internet in a haze of alcohol, intermittent crying and masturbating to pictures of pandas.
He happened to open a page he had bookmarked months ago; a small textboard known as "The Elitist Superstructure of DQN". He hadn't thought much of it at the time, but as his tired eyes swept over the thread titles, he noticed those wonderful words:
ITT the previous poster is a panda
He laughed! He cried! He gave it thirty seconds thought, and made a brief post inspired by another thread which happened to be on the front page.
He knew it wouldn't truly make him a panda - truly, nothing ever could. But to have someone reaffirm his belief, to tell him it's okay, he is a panda in some capacity, would mean everything to him.
It's okay, >>756. I understand.
You are a panda.
>>757 is a kind panda with a talent for beautiful storytelling.
>>758 is a beautiful panda with soft, clean fur and deep blue eyes.
>>759 is a sweet-talking panda who may just get to do his part in preserving his species yet.
>>763 is an Arctic brown bear who accidentally put laundry bleach on his coat while laundering it. At first he was angry, then he noticed that his new markings made it easier for him to cadge food from the tourists. Oddly, they keep giving him bamboo shoots.
>>764 's picture is used in the logo for the "Panda Express" quasi-Chinese fast-food chain.
