Anyways, >>1, please listen to me. That it's really related to this thread.
I went to >>769-san's house a while ago; you know, >>769-san?
Well anyways there was an insane amount of bamboo there, and I could barely open the door.
Then, I looked in his fridge, in the kitchen, and it had bamboo in it.
Oh, the stupidity. That idiot.
You, don't put bamboo in the fridge just because it's edible, fool.
It's only bamboo, I bet it doesn't even go off for crying out loud.
There're even black eyeshadow in his bedroom. Eyeshadow, for blackening the area around your eyes, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, I'm gonna be a panda." God I can't bear to watch.
You, I'll give you some kind of virtual reality if you just stop embarrassing yourself.
Being a panda shouldn't be a desirable thing.
That meaningless lifestyle, where a panda in a bamboo forest spends its entire life doing nothing,
the terminally sedate mentality, that's why pandas are an endangered species.
People who think they're "cute" should screw off and stay home.
Anyways, I was about to leave, and then >>769-san goes "Mreeeh, mreeeeh, I'm a panda."
Who in the world do you think you're fooling, you moron?
I want to ask him, "Do you REALLY think pandas make noises like that?"
I want to interrogate him. I want to interrogate him for roughly an hour.
Are you sure you don't just want to pretend to be another species for attention?
Coming from a panda impersonator veteran such as myself, the best way of dealing with them is this, punching them in the face.
That's right, punching them in the face. This is the most time efficient solution.
Punching them in the face means they might reconsider their way of life. But on the other hand the police may get involved.
This is the key.
And then, they'll give up trying to be a panda. This is best for everyone.
However, if you aren't careful then there is a danger that you'll just give them a victim complex; it's a double-edged sword.
I can't recommend it to amateurs.
What this all really means, though, is that you, >>771, can just fuck right off if you were about to accuse me of being a panda.
>>771 has been a panda for 2,008 days, or nearly five and a half years.
>>774 is a mathematician panda who is far more interested in the beauty of complex differential equations than that of female members of his species.
>>775 Would rather play all 999 games on all 100 of his fake Famicom things than have pandasex.
>>780
Is an elite hacker panda that has r00ted every server on the i'net.
>>784 is a traitor panda, known for being the right-hand man of Augustus Platypus, a tyrant platypus dictator hellbent on destroying the panda civilization as we know it.
>>788 passed his panda diploma with flying colours. Because he's a panda.
>>795 saw http://www.poweringsocialmedia.com/blog/wp-content/uploads//2012/05/Panda-Farmer-Google-cartoon.jpg and exclaimed "It's so true!" and set it as his desktop wallpaper
>>797's biological father is a panda, as is his biological mother.
>>800 Bought and wore a mask so people thought he wasn't a panda. Too bad he didn't have enough Yuan to buy the entire costume.
>>803 is an evil panda who wants to enslave all humanity and force them to provide him with a constant stream of bamboo shoots.
>>804 is basically just a black and white bear
... with a VENGEANCE
A computer algorithm designed to recognise pandas by their style of posting on the internet returned a 97% probability of pandahood upon analysing >>808.
>>813 Bought fake udders from a gift shop and pretended to be a Holstein cow. Too bad pandas can't say "moo."
>>814 went on a quest to find a panda. Little did he know, he was a panda all along!
>>816 suspiciously uses BitCoin to purchase bamboo from China over the internet.
If >>821 ever comes into contact with an antipanda, they will both annihilate in a spray of gamma rays.
Many people take photos of >>822 and then make stupid comments.
Stop trying to change the subject, >>829! We know you're really the panda.
>>834 doesn't need a certificate to show he's a panda; it's obvious.
>>836 is the only animal from China that westerners think about.
>>840 have been killed in a drunken fist fight in his last life―his dead face resembling a panda!―thus he was reborn as one.
>>846 shaved itself to pass off as a fat human. And it worked.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/5b/Pandas_playing_640x480.ogv
>>850 is the one on the right.
>>851 Keeps people from entering exhentai.org without a password
>>853 ate my Wacom Bamboo tablet and complained about bitter taste.
>>856
I-is this an espeon? Is it a cat-panda? You're a cat-panda!
