What if you were a girl? (94)

1 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5140 23:37

Warning: This thread is sexist and only meant for guys. Reading it as a girl is allowed, but pointless although perhaps amusing. However I have no intention to resolve equity by making a counterpart thread for girls. You have been warned.

I take it most here know about Ranma1/2 and I'm sure that even without it, you must at least once have considered this situation:

What if one day you woke up in your own room and found out you've now got a fully developed girl's body. What would you do?

-For me, I'd probably go into a toyshop, buy tabletennisballs, return home and then try shooting them around the room. (I think you know what I mean)

2 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5140 23:45

I don't understand.

Why table tennis?

3 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5140 23:54

>>2 needs to go visit a Ping-Pong show in Bangkok with a fist full of notes

As for me, I'd probably just call in sick at work, and spend the rest of the day masturbating.

4 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5141 00:36

Same activity, different method.

5 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5141 03:04

Post Tits.

6 Name: Ό“ρ“ρ“ρi OƒΦOj“ρ“ρ“ρ½ : 1993-09-5141 05:04

Join the lesbian club.

7 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5141 05:19

Pretend to be a man on internet sex chatrooms.

8 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5141 05:24

I would hope that I would be like that forever. I would run to the mall, buy me some lingerie, pantyhoses, I fucking love pantyhoses, and would try to have lesbian sex. And I would probably do a lot more things, but I can't think of any now, because I need to fap to pantyhoses first.

9 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5141 06:50

I'd have a blast wanking myself, and then wish I were a man once the period rolled around.

Seriously, being a dude is awesome.

10 Name: TrippytheTripcode!PYZX54X2L. : 1993-09-5141 07:40

I'd be a high-class call girl.

Have sex AND get paid for it. This isn't a hard decision to make.

11 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5141 09:53

DQN is scaring me with the number of transgender fetishists there are posting on it.

12 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5141 11:36

I would stay off the internet.

13 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5141 14:39

It would almost as difficult to pick up girls as it is now ;_;

14 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5141 15:11

I'd masturbate with tampons.

15 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5141 16:11

>>14
That's highly uncomfortable, unless you use huge quantities of lube. Although chicks do have natural lubrication when aroused, it will need help. And the tampons absorb lube and moisture and get soggy and loose.

As to how I know: sometimes just fingering yourself in the butt gets rather boring. And I don't do too well with too large insertions; just because I like prostate stimulation doesn't mean I'm into cocks. And my sister had a huge box of sorta long tampons, so I gave one a try. And from my experience with chicks I know that although they can get very dripping wet, tampons were designed for soaking up dripping wetness.

But yeah. If I'd turn into a chick, after some experimenting alone, I would totally hit the gay bars. Lesbian sex FTW!

16 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5141 16:15

>>15 no offense but you're creepy and retarded

17 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5141 16:18

>>16
This is DQN. I bet >>15's lying. I bet >>15 isn't even a human. Silly Pandas, posting all over DQN.

18 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5141 16:41

  • get overcharged when having my automobile, home or PC repaired
  • get underpaid when I get my paycheck
  • earn easy money through nude modelling, exotic dancing, prostitution, or hardcore pornography
  • enjoy bias in my favour during custody and child support legal proceedings
  • enjoy aforementioned self-plesure

19 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5141 17:06

I'd freak out, have to update every form and card to reflect my new gender, suffer from feelings of body dysmorphism, have no clue as to handle my new body, and be regarded as a freak who is not quite a man or a woman. People would end up referring to me as "it". I'd also be shunned by all of my friends and family, most of whom would be completely unable to accept this sudden and unexpected change.

You know, just like all of you.

lol TG fetishists

20 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5141 18:18

I would return to the kitchen where I belong, and make sandwiches for all of DQN.

21 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5141 19:27

wai wai, why do you all assume you'd become an ATTRACTIVE woman?

22 Name: Ό“ρ“ρ“ρi OƒΦOj“ρ“ρ“ρ½ : 1993-09-5141 19:42

Since when were most lesbians attractive? I have a pretty personality already.

23 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5141 21:18

Do I have to be fully developed? Can I be a little girl instead?

24 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5142 00:11

I would drop my ambitions and dreams of being success full in computer programming and transfer to some useless shitty subject which is easy to understand for a lazy member of society such as me. I would never contribute to my field of expertise and finally die without ever accomplishing anything other than having a good family and a large social network.

25 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5142 00:13

>>22 models and prostitutes usually have to be somewhat attractive.

26 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5142 02:01

I'd go to the first fair and shout 'WORLD PEACE!!!"

27 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5142 02:48

I would have hot lesbian sex with my girlfriend.

28 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5142 02:58

I would get into a kitchen, where all girls should be at all times.

29 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5142 03:04

I would make a sandwich.

30 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5142 03:31

Finally figure out how babby is formed.

31 Name: Ό“ρ“ρ“ρi OƒΦOj“ρ“ρ“ρ½ : 1993-09-5142 06:32

>>25
As a man, I frankly only care about the inner Boon of a woman. Not a Boon, not a babe.

32 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5142 08:04

>>30

babby is formed by girl get pregnent in ar

33 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5142 12:02

>>32

( ί -ί) Goons aren't allowed in DQN. We have our standards.

34 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5148 08:54

>>21
Because we're all handsome men.

35 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5148 20:03

>>34 then would you just look like handsome females?

36 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5149 07:50

My hands would instantly go to my chest and my cunt, and I would be AWOL for several days.

37 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5149 10:01

>>35
That's crazy talk. Handsome men don't turn into handsome females -- they turn into handsome men with a vagina and breasts.

38 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5149 23:39

>>37
That's hot.

39 Name: Not in Employment, Education, or Training : 1993-09-5149 23:50

I'd immediatly get in the kitchen, seeing that is where I belong.

40 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5150 00:19

three things:

  1. mourn the loss of my penis
  2. ask out every straight guy i have ever had a crush on (and probably be refused by all of them, but at least i bloody well tried)
  3. find out if childbirth really is more painful than being kicked in the nuts

41 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5150 02:18

>>40 left out "PROFIT!!!"

Also, he's a panda.

42 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5150 11:47

  1. Marry guy
  2. ???
  3. PROFIT!!!

43 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5150 19:41

women > men

44 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5150 21:15

>>43 translates into roughly

Periods > no periods

You sick fuck.

45 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5150 21:41

Can simulate orgasm > unable to simulate erection.

46 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5151 01:28

>>45
Scared of bugs < Jar-opening ability

47 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5157 01:46

>>1

fap, obviously.

(·ΐ„ͺ„ͺ„ͺ„ͺ„ͺ„ͺ(߁Νί)„ͺ„ͺ„ͺ„ͺ„ͺ„ͺ !!!!!)

48 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5160 01:38

I'd try to shit, since I am told girls don't poop.

49 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5160 01:59

>>46
Live longer than men > Die faster than women

50 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5160 02:52

>>49

Has to wear make up and clothes and act a certain way or will be socially rejected by everyone < Can be as ugly or stupid as you want and, although you might occasionally be made fun of, still have friends and be tolerated.

No one likes ugly or stupid women, but everyone has at least one ugly or stupid man as a friend.

51 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5161 04:48

>>50
I dunno about stupid. I think for a man to get by being stupid, he'd have to be at least socially smart, and that counts in my book.

52 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5161 04:48

>>50
And people love stupid women. I mean, maybe not to marry, but like the women in porn are usually dumb as bricks.

53 Name: TrippytheTripcode!PYZX54X2L. : 1993-09-5161 10:12

I'm pretty sure >>36 had the right idea. Why, oh why can I not test out this theory?

54 Name: trip!cKNpzcUaqI : 1993-09-5161 10:18

>>48

girls pee from their butts

this is 100% fact

55 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5162 10:06

>>40
Getting kicked in the nuts isn't even a tenth as painful as childbirth for most women. First-timers, though. Babies tend to get out more painlessly the second and third time. Don't forget that being in labour is a very long process, anything from half a day to more than a day.
There is massive tissue damage involved, the cervix not only dilates but also gets ripped up, and so might the vaginal canal. Sometimes more than that gets ripped up....
Apparently dozens of women a day (in my country) rip up their colon/anus in the process of giving birth, according to statistics from 2004.

56 Name: TrippytheTripcode!PYZX54X2L. : 1993-09-5162 10:52

Way to take the fun out of a topic, >>55...

57 Name: >>57 will never have babies : 1993-09-5162 11:56

>>55

D:

58 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5162 12:42

has anyone said DP yet?

59 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5162 13:15

Data Processing?

60 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5163 10:20

>>56
Nah. Still fun, as long as you avoid getting pregnant in your female form.

61 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5163 12:34

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œ œ œ
œœœ œ œœ œ œ

œ  œ  œ  œ  œ       œœœ
œ        œ     œ      œ  œ
œ                œ     œ  œ

62 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5163 12:38

œ
œ œ
œ

63 Name: not a panda : 1993-09-5163 12:38

i fail

64 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5163 14:21

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@@@@@@@@( ί„Dί) ^@ƒ@It is wise to test one's s-jis art
@@@@@@ @ Ό@‚@@@@|@on a long-buried thread before
@@@@@@|PPPPP| @ |@doing something stupid.
@@@@@@| @@ @ @ @ | @ _QQQQQQQQQQQQQ
@@@@@@| @@ @ @ @ |
@ |PPPPPPPPPPPP|

65 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5163 14:27

>>64
it is wiser to use the preview button

66 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5163 20:10

I'd be pretty pissed at first, what with my inferior brain and reproductive system. Eventually, though, I'd get over it, get dolled up and hit the bars/clubs for sexy studs (hopefully with lots of money too).

67 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5164 01:20

>>66 haha I read this as "sexy STDs"

68 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5164 11:16

DP - double penetration

69 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5164 14:16

TP - toilet paper

70 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5167 19:39

I would so test out the buzzer of my mobile phone for 'teasability'

71 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5167 20:10

I'd SO go out and get a manicure.

72 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5167 20:26

I could masturbate twice as much. Yeah, I would become a fujoshi fer sure.

73 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5167 21:56

I'd have a hard time explaining to my parents...

74 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5168 04:19

Sing along to chick music without having to ensure an empty house and locked doors.

75 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5169 20:08

maybe go around and give unexpected pleasure to virgins to shy to come out into the world of picking up girls? Sneaking into their room at night and having them wake up while I've just finished wrapping their craving brother in a condom, hovering a few centimeters above before the 'hidden embrace'?

ugh... maybe not

76 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5170 03:03

>>70

doesnt work that well.

77 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5170 04:46

>>76
I bet you haven't tried this, then: http://www.vibelet.com/

78 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5170 05:10

>>77

I think I love you.

79 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5171 04:49

>>78 turned into a girl five minutes before posting.

80 Name: 1985-1988 Nissan Maxima : 1993-09-5177 00:54

My voice chip is female.

81 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5177 10:14

( E-E) >>34, it's not that there's a restrictive pattern, it's just that you're by far the worst poster in existence with the worst character in existence. Stop wasting everyone else's time and get rid of your meaningless fucking life.

82 Name: Dude : 1993-09-5182 02:01

prob stay in and explore then get some totty in and have a big lesbo orgy lol, also get drunk a lot fast = less money on nights out, or i could get bought drinks (SORTED) :P

83 Name: Not in Employment, Education, or Training : 1993-09-5182 11:23

Do the same shit I always do, except possibly masturbate more.

84 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5189 18:18

I don't know why you'd masturbate more, it's decidedly tougher for a girl to get off and the only benefit is a longer orgasm that feels the same.

Why bother?

85 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5189 20:35

Because the journey is half the fun. Orgasm is the destination, but getting there in two minutes is peculiarly unfulfilling.

86 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5189 20:39

...Two minutes? Are you serious? Try not going at it at light speed and you'll realize you can actually enjoy it pretty thoroughly thx

87 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5189 20:55

I'm happy to see that you so readily grasped the essence of my idle thoughts.

88 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5189 23:59

exactly, but don't grasp the essence of his idle thoughts too tightly, again for timing concerns

89 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5193 03:16

shlick

90 Name: （　・∀・）　 : 1993-09-5195 02:00

well, I was sent through a time paradox and was turned into a girl. Fact is we do poop and fart. A reflex keeps our anus from opening unless the nearest person is 10 miles away. Once the hazardous waste is let out, OCD causes us to make the evidence disappear no matter what the cost. Next, we discharge several cans of air freshner, if girls were to go extinct, our global warming issues would diminish greatly.

91 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6583 17:53

If I were to become a girl I would bump this topic!

92 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6583 18:24

Normally people bumping long dead threads pisses me off slightly, not because I hate old threads but because they have a tendency to be absolutely shit. Case in point:

> [HISTORY] cracky-chan [SERIOUS BUSINESS].

This thread, however, I can tolerate. More than that, I can participate!

If I were a girl, I'm not sure much would actually change about me. After the obligatory masturbating frenzy I guess I would still be a shut-in, I'd just have more of a craving for cock.

93 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6583 19:35

>thread is only for guys
>basically the Internet version of a Yorkie sweet
>in b4 "no girls on the Internets"

94 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6937 21:25


@@@@@| _
@@@@@|„DM)@@@No one is here.
@@@@@|Ό@@@@@I can be a little girl now !
@@@@@|

@@@@@τ@@™
@@@τ@@@^ _@@@ Frilly dresses!
@@@@@@R(L„DM;)Ι @@Ribbons!
@@ @ @@@ (@ ‚Φ) @@@Everyone's invited
@ @ @ @ @@‚­ @@@@@@To my tea party!

@@@τ@@@@™
@@@@@τ@^ _@@@Shimapan!
@@@@@@Ri;L„DMjɁ@@Innocence!
@@ @ @@@ (‚ց@ ) @@@A life of peaceful
@ @ @ @ @@@@ >@@@@Serendipity!
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