Someone who was once near you is no longer near you.
Their name begins with an E, F, or G.
Someone will breathe today. It will have grave consequences. Grave.
Your penis will grow 1000 times it's normal size
Some of your aspirations tend to be pretty unrealistic. At times you are extroverted, affable, sociable, while at other times you are introverted, wary and reserved. You have found it unwise to be too frank in revealing yourself to others. You pride yourself on being an independent thinker and do not accept others' opinions without satisfactory proof. You prefer a certain amount of change and variety, and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by restrictions and limitations. At times you have serious doubts as to whether you have made the right decision or done the right thing. Disciplined and controlled on the outside, you tend to be worrisome and insecure on the inside.
Your sexual adjustment has presented some problems for you. While you have some personality weaknesses, you are generally able to compensate for them. You have a great deal of unused capacity which you have not turned to your advantage. You have a tendency to be critical of yourself. You have a strong need for other people to like you and for them to admire you.
You will be hit by a bus tomorrow.
You will break your neck attempting to suck your own dick.
You will give someone a cold reading.
You will 9GET
You will misunderstand the term "cold reading" and stick a book in the freezer for a few hours, after which you will read some of it to >>11.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.. Fuck this book is cold, I wish I had mittens.
You will need mittens soon as well.
It won't be mud.
As a Sagittarius, you are sceptical of astrological readings
As a Scorpio, you spell "skeptical" with a K, but strangely enough, not "Scorpio".
David Bowie's gonna kill you tomorrow.
and then he'll make tender love to Iman over your corpse. It's a shame you won't be able to appreciate it.
You will soon come to the realization that you have wasted your day...
You're imaginative, and on wednesday, you will imagine something.
You lucky numbers are 48, 1375, 48195922222184, and e.
Tomorrow, you will have a headache. Avoid wearing green socks if you can.
You're not gay.
Please don't go into the deli
Beware of Pie, really. It has teeth.
She doesn't love you anymore. You only cause her pain.
Bring plenty of hand sanitzer. You'll know why when you reach the next town.
Tomorrow is a good time to sell Tom Nook your turnips.
Your fortune today: Good Luck
Beware the ides of March, and check the toilet paper level before you sit down.
Hillary Clinton will win...
...by default, after all the other candidates mysteriously disappear.
Your fidelity will be tested in the upcoming days
You will die before you are able to post
You will stare into the mirror, and your face will be only two dots and an upside-down "A".
You will eat a taco.
You will throw up a taco.
You will suck cocks.
You will post in this thread.
You will predict what I will do
Your post number will begin in a 2, 3 or 5 and end in a 7, 9 or 0.
you are already dead...
You have even worse luck than me.
You will read Gödel, Escher, Bach: an Eternal Golden Braid in the near future.
You will soil your armor a second time.
You will refrain from fapping for 6 months.
You will fail.
You have already failed.
You will never be able to tell the future.
You will look at the Grandpa thread, copy Beady Eyes into the reply box, and then not be able to think of anything for him to say.
you will have a bowel movement
( ・-・)
You will come to realize that your quick dismissal of the complaints of 4chan's posters regarding the website's slope into mediocrity was in error, when you view a gang-banging wigger violating your precious, precious immaturity mansion.
You will look at porn and masturbate.
You will realise that your towel is hostile towards JISAKU JIENs
You will not leave the house today.
Your essence will be captured by a berated box who will use it for his own personal gain.
The sky will fall down and crush your body, slowly killing you.
Simon Belmont will accidentally perform a sexual act of gratuitous power on his quest to find his masculinity.
You will do nothing. Doing nothing, there will be nothing left undone.
You will remember nothing of what has passed between us
Tomorrow you will wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and go back to sleep.
You will be reluctant to post in this thread due to the prediction of the person before you. An anvil will fall on your head tomorrow.
You will not leave the house this weekend.
You will discover the secret of eternal happiness. It will be past its expiry date.
You will carry out and be w.
you will come to realize that you are 35 years old and pointlessly arguing with 13 year old boys over the internet.
Your lucky number is 13, and your color for tomorrow is Persimmon.
Avoid Sagittarius. If you are one, avoid mirrors and don't go outside.
Now let's earn money.
It is a home business that can be done for childhood while it is in the house.
You will report spam.
as a child you always felt special, or "diffrent" from other people, and this made you shy. although you are now slowly realizing we're really all the same deep down there, you're still finding it hard to excersise this belief in real life.
you will poop today
you will piss. A tiny amount will stay inside you until you pull your pants back up, and then dribble out.
You will realise that >>72's reading applies to every day of your life. One day you will change your pants.
You will meet him reading a sports paper near the northern tree of the park.
Your password will be "Capital is dead labor, which, vampire-like, lives only by sucking living labor, and lives the more, the more labor it sucks."
He will reply "Capitalist production, therefore, develops technology, and the combining together of various processes into a social whole, only by sapping the original sources of all wealth ― the soil and the labourer."
You will then follow him.
They're all gonna laugh at you.
They're all gonna laugh at you.
They're all gonna laugh at you.
hey dancing guy wussup