Someone who was once near you is no longer near you.
Their name begins with an E, F, or G.
Someone will breathe today. It will have grave consequences. Grave.
Your penis will grow 1000 times it's normal size
Some of your aspirations tend to be pretty unrealistic. At times you are extroverted, affable, sociable, while at other times you are introverted, wary and reserved. You have found it unwise to be too frank in revealing yourself to others. You pride yourself on being an independent thinker and do not accept others' opinions without satisfactory proof. You prefer a certain amount of change and variety, and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by restrictions and limitations. At times you have serious doubts as to whether you have made the right decision or done the right thing. Disciplined and controlled on the outside, you tend to be worrisome and insecure on the inside.
Your sexual adjustment has presented some problems for you. While you have some personality weaknesses, you are generally able to compensate for them. You have a great deal of unused capacity which you have not turned to your advantage. You have a tendency to be critical of yourself. You have a strong need for other people to like you and for them to admire you.
You will be hit by a bus tomorrow.
You will break your neck attempting to suck your own dick.
You will give someone a cold reading.
You will 9GET
You will misunderstand the term "cold reading" and stick a book in the freezer for a few hours, after which you will read some of it to >>11.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.. Fuck this book is cold, I wish I had mittens.
You will need mittens soon as well.
It won't be mud.
As a Sagittarius, you are sceptical of astrological readings
As a Scorpio, you spell "skeptical" with a K, but strangely enough, not "Scorpio".
David Bowie's gonna kill you tomorrow.
and then he'll make tender love to Iman over your corpse. It's a shame you won't be able to appreciate it.
You will soon come to the realization that you have wasted your day...
You're imaginative, and on wednesday, you will imagine something.
You lucky numbers are 48, 1375, 48195922222184, and e.
Tomorrow, you will have a headache. Avoid wearing green socks if you can.
You're not gay.
Please don't go into the deli
Beware of Pie, really. It has teeth.
She doesn't love you anymore. You only cause her pain.
Bring plenty of hand sanitzer. You'll know why when you reach the next town.
Tomorrow is a good time to sell Tom Nook your turnips.
Your fortune today: Good Luck