That's exactly where I thought you were hiding, >>0 you CIA spook!
>>1000 Can't explain why the war on drugs costs several billion dollars a year, from the party that talks about deregulation and spending cuts.
>>15 is the only one with the balls to do what's right.
OH YEAH I WENT THERE
>>16 is about one millimeter to the right of any other poster or party in this thread, despite all the protestations by the left and right factions of America's combined center-left and center-right party that pretends to be two.
>>19 helped rebuild Iraq, and all he got was a lousy billion for it.
>>20 had himself taken off the map. Along with numerous other things.
>>23 habitually extols the virtues of compassionate conservatism
>>24 recently had a tryst with an undercover policeman in a bathroom stall
>>25 gave that cop a happy ending, because when he starts a job, by God he's going to finish it!
>>27 believes that International means including New Mexico and Global means including Canada
>>28 knows that it's a whole new world when Britain is your buddy.
>>30 knows that supporting Israel is the best long-term solution to peace in the Middle East.
>>32's magnificent show of unity will spark the rebirth of the fragmenting conservative movement.
>>34 is keen to point out it's nothing personal, in fact his best friend is a fag.
>>35 is actually Libertarian but calls himself Republican because it's more popular
>>36 is actually a Christian fundamentalist but calls himself Libertarian because it makes him sound smarter and more independent.
>>37 is a neoconservative seeking to bomb his way out of the Matrix
>>38 is a poor mid-western hick, but votes for candidates that support corporations.
>>39 has spent the last six months creating the image of a "maverick" desipte following the party platform to the letter.
>>40 has spent the last eight years nearly doubling the national debt despite being elected as a fiscal conservative
>>42 Is more likely to get good results at CPAC if he is serves some extremist Christian sects that most people hate.
Most people's reason for voting for >>43 is that he might be slightly less shitty than that other candidate.
>>45 supports "family values" and also gives free blowjobs at the county park toilet.
Where's that?
>>47 Doesn't know because social conservatives don't like the idea of people having sexual pleasure with someone other than their wife.
>>49 Believes that the worst thing a president can do while in office is cheat on their wife.
>>51 Universally opposes experiments with human DNA, but is glad to take bribes from GMO farmers to freely produce food products that have pontentilal harm humans and their environment.
>>52 believes in free markets, except when bribed to specially favor corporate lobbyists.
>>53 publicly opposes gay rights but then goes back home to his favorite gay prostitute.
>>54 opposes welfare, even though more than half his family is on welfare.
>>55 attempts to create panic regarding the evils of Islamic theocracy, while trying to instate Christian theocracy at home.
>>56 believes wholeheartedly in states' rights, unless that state wants to let gays get married. Then he's all about federal bans.
When >>57 gets blamed for shifting the tax burden from the rich to the poor, he points out how he lowered taxes on gasoline and tobacco, and that gasoline and tobacco are a bigger percent of a poor person's budget than it is for rich people.
>>59 Does things to help the environment, if the environmental problem has negative effects on sport fishing and deer hunting.
>>60 decries video games as "murder simulators", but assures us that what we need in the Middle East is more war.
>>61 Always renews trade embargoes with Cuba and he says communism is the reason.
Meanwhile, he supports free trade with China, even though China still calls itself a communist country.
>>62 thinks that flushing billions of taxpayer dollars into invading the third-world shithole of the week is the righteous thing to do, but spending that money to improve the lot of US citizens is evil socialism.
>>65 thinks Glenn Beck was taken off the air because Obama didn't want the truth to spread
>>66 Wishes he could treat porn as if it all contained children.
>>67 assures us that the secret bestiality porn that was leaked from his private computer folder was kept only for its humour value.
>>68 Fears socialism because Nazi was short for national socialist, and they tortured, enslaved, and killed millions of people.
>>69 fears socialism because history is littered with examples of what happens when socialist states run out of other people's money.
>>72 never gets laid, and wants to make sure no one else does either by promoting abstinence-only sex education.
>>73 is responsible for the only positive posts in this thread.
>>74 Wants people to get married and have children, so he tries to prevent young people from knowing what contraception is. The 2 horny people have sex anyway, have a baby, then have a shotgun wedding.
>>75 thinks his opinions are more valuable than someone else's rights
>>76 Will always be blamed for racism because he doesn't like people getting handouts, or working useless government jobs, and we all know certain people are more likely to get handouts and useless government jobs
>>78 is afraid of everything he doesn't understand, which is quite a lot of things.
>>79 Voted for laws that violate the 5th amendment, and then worries about what happens when another political party is in power, and has the ability to use those laws.
>>80 believes that the Civil War is still going on, and is a Confederate.
>>85 preaches against the evil deviant homosexuals while fucking little boys on vacations to third world countries.
The only reason >>86 called Michelle Obama a fatass was because she was trying to force other people to eat certain foods and go to the gym, but she never did those things.
>>88 put up a sign in his yard indicating that, out of respect for his neighbor's liberal views, he would not use his guns to defend his neighbor's home, so go ahead and rob the shit out of it.
>>90 Has a deeply rooted sense of inferiority, and thus resents intellectualism, which he dismisses as snobbery in a passive-agressive kind of way.
>>91 Doesn't like intellectuals because he had to attend their classes as a prerequisite to get an engineering degree. The best way he says "fuck you" to intellectual types is using his degree in stuff that matters, and get rich with it.
>>92 asks Jesus for advice on all his political decisions, but somehow still ends up starting wars.
>>95 thinks that "black female privilege" is a thing, and it goes unspoke of because the white man is oppressed
Now matter how high gold and silver rise in dollar value, >>96 isn't selling any of his gold and silver.
>>97 judges people solely by the content of their character and gets called a racist for doing so.
>>98 knows that the difference between the zoo and the White House is that the zoo has an African lion, while the White House has a lyin' African.
>>100 like to talk about Americans becoming successful through fearless individualism, but then likes to convince people to buy a house in the suburbs and have 3 children.
>>102 has successfully lobbied to have video games banned because they don't have enough positive comments about his god.
>>103 Disagrees with the sexual ways of Japanese people, but back in the 1980s, he licensed some anime to create "Superbook" on VHS. At the same time he was driving a Datsun pickup truck, because he didn't like American labor unions, and at that time American cars sucked.
>>104 livestreamed himself breaking into the capitol building
>>105 started reading increasingly obscure radical literature recently, most recently Pentti Linkola for some reason. While it has been confusing his personal NSA agent observer, at the end of the day he will still only come to the conclusion that we must cut taxes, reel in spending, and deregulate industry.