It's my roommate's turn to take the goddamn trash out, so I let it pile up way past the ability of the bag to hold it all and then I poured a half empty coke out all over it.

My roommate smeared coke all over the garbage can during one of his hysterical seizure sessions that he calls "passive aggression". We had to constrain him as he attempted to flee without his pants, and finally gave 20μC olanzapine to call it a day.

>>2 but did you take the damn trash out? IT'S YOUR TURN FUCKASS

My roommate last year never once took out the trash in our room, but he had the fake ID and bought the vodka, so I let it slide.

A man that I thought was my friend had two rooms to let when I called him needing a place for two months while I got my own place. He said he had to "discuss it" with the woman. He never got back to me on it. Straight up kooked it hard, passive/aggressive style

My flatmate made me take out the rubbish, even though I do more for her than she realises, so I took it out then made rude gestures behind her back.

It's my roommate's turn to take the goddamn trash out, so I let it pile up way past the ability of the bag to hold it all and then I threw out his stash, too.

My roommate flat-out refused to take out the trash, just locked himself in his room, so I got some turps-soaked cloth and stuffed it under his door, the lit it

I don't have a roommate.
Also:
GODDAMNIT, >>3 take it out yourself!

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（　´∀｀）Good thread, op. Now get the trash out.

My tenants in Apt 7A keep feuding about taking out the trash, so went in there while they weren't around and pissed in their orange juice.

>>11

I finally did. When I finally move out of here I am going to take a huge piss in the central air conditioner.

So I'm this bad of trash, right. I really need to be taken out before it starts to stench the place up =(.

There never seems to be much trash from Apt 7A for me to collect... oh well

The goddamn trash can is full again. Not MY fault, as I've been eating at Jack in the Box all week.

put the trash in his oom

So I'm an apartment right? And the two guys who live in me keep feuding over trash or something silly like that. So while they were gone, I unplugged the refridgerator so all their food went bad. That'll show them.

The building has rebelled and took away the coldness.
Horrible blue/gray mold rots my surface.
I am only cheese, what have I done to deserve this?
I feel so violated.... Who could love me now?

I'm just this cave mold sitting in a cave minding my OWN BUSINESS when some punk decides to put cheese in here. So I infected it. That'll show him.

I've been putting cheese in this cave for years. It's like my own personal brand of Roquefort. Take that, cave mold!

I am a cave by the sea. A strange man comes by on Wednesdays to fill me with cheese. Oh god its so bad but it feels so good. I just wish he'd would stay the night and we could talk about caprimulgiformes.

I thought the cave was a euphemism for a fridge

The allegory of the cave is this: the cave is not the fridge. The cave becomes the fridge. You put the cave in the bedroom it becomes the bedroom. You put it in the den it becomes the den. Be cave, my friend.

I am the art of allegory. I rhyme with "Cory".

A cave is really just a hole on its side.

I've got a hole in me pocket.

I cut a hole in >>27's pocket because he wouldn't take the goddamn trash out

I play Yellow Submarine on the TV incessantly because >>28 refuses to actually check what day of the week it is and the movie annoys him terribly but he won't admit that either.

When I finish a gallon of milk I put the cap back on before throwing it away so my roommate can't pack down the bag.

I leave my roommate's empty milk bottles under his bed to curdle because WE RECYCLE IN THIS HOUSE, DAMMIT.

Whenever my roommate buys the shitty, nasty, cheap jam I secretly throw a little bit of it away each day so we'll run out faster. I want blueberrys boiled in sugar water on my toast not this nasty diarrhea shit.

>>32 I know, and I know you're doing that, but I can't afford all your fancy stuff! That's why I started buying my own shopping

>>31 When my roommate isn't looking I dump the contents of the recycling bin into the trash. It's where it's all going anyway.

>>34 is both ignorant and stupid. That's why I have to spend extra time sorting the recycling from the trash before I take it out. That's also why I have to spend extra time lacing his mountain dew with arsenic.

My roommate's slut girlfriend is over here all the time and never chips in on rent or food, so while she's upstairs, I put tiny rocks in her shoes.

I laugh in the exact same way at all of my friend's jokes, but in a different way at everyone else's. He doesn't know WHAT's up!

My boyfriend's roommate is antisocial and weird. He's always looking at me judgmentally, as if I owe him something. So I fuck on his bed.

>>38
As an antisocial roommate, I do judge people like you. And guess what? I hate your guts.

I made an insincere post in this thread because I don't like whining all that much

Someone took out my note that reminded me when to take the garbage and recycle bins out, so I just don't take out the garbage or recycling.

I keep making really snarky comments to this girl in an IRC channel I visit in hopes that she'll develop some kind of crush on me. It seems to be working. She keeps sending me pics and chatting with me more. This only makes me want to bully her more.

I can't afford to have the heating on very much but he goes and sticks it on all the time anyway because his parents pay his way. So I switched the radiators off and rubbed butter on all the valves

I bumped an old thread because I found all the current ones distasteful and repetitive.

My roomate stepped on my glasses, so I put drops of lemon juice in his contact lens cleaner.

>>45
That's just straight up aggression.

My roomate didn't clean the microwave after using it, so I hid just enough metal in it to put on a freaky spark show.

my mom wouldn't buy me chicken nuggies for dinner so i shoved pizza crusts up my butt so she had to take me to the hospital

I knew someone who tried to get pregnant with a turkey baster and used condom, so I unwrapped a condom, put horseradish sauce in it, and left it in the trash can.

( ` -´) Deliberately playing the Sailor's Hornpipe wrong over and over again on a banjo when my neighbours have loud sex during working hours

My neighbour refuses to take me up on my offer of banjo lessons. I just want him to improve!! So in response I pretend to have loud sex over and over again.

My roommate won't shut the fuck up about whatever crap CNN is pushing, so I voted Trump.

>>52
contrarians are so insufferable

>>53
When did doing things out of spite become contrarianism

I hate contrarians out of spite

( ` -´) My upstairs neighbours keep my up at night then wake me up in the morning, but I have 1 day 21 hours and 40 minutes of denpa neither of us have listened to at full volume yet!