Lame Confessional [LAME] (999)

1 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5796 14:44

Today, I crossed the street in the middle. I did not check both ways.

201 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5950 02:27

Sometimes I sneak into my sister's room and masturbate on her panties, and I don't clean them up after I do it.

202 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5950 04:08

Sometimes there's a weird mucusy goo on my panties, and I don't know what it is.

203 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5952 03:33

I posted both >>201 and >>202

204 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5952 21:16

I posted >>203 and I didn't actually post >>201-202

205 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5952 23:29

I've never posted ever.

206 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5953 01:49

I'm actually not >>206. I'm >>207.

207 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5953 01:56

I'm actually a closet homosexual who makes fun of other homosexuals, which makes me a gay hypocrite.

208 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5953 02:20

Over the last few months discovered that I'm bisexual but I really don't want to tell anyone.

209 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5953 06:43

I honestly don't really like mittens.

210 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5957 19:42

I'm content right now and that makes me insecure, like balancing on a high-wire over a deep dark pit.

Don't look down.

211 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5958 03:56

I'm an alcoholic because I drink to cope with my manic depression. This doesn't actually bother me one bit.

212 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5959 01:10

I'm looking forward to committing suicide with my wife

213 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5959 14:38

I recognize the sad truth that most people on the Internet would not take >>212 seriously even if he or she is actually going to commit suicide, but I am probably not going to do anything more than say he or she should not commit suicide and hope it resolves itself.

214 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5959 15:36

I didn't take >>212 seriously, but now I feel bad about it. Thanks, >>213.

215 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5959 16:34

>>212
I don't care.

216 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5959 19:43

More stuff for the rest of us.

217 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5960 08:28

The only reason I come to DQN is because I liked the albums and emergency mittens.
Also, I will be alone this new years, like the last 21 years of my life.

218 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5960 10:40

I am a talented graphical designer who was noticed by some high ranking people who had seen my works, but I do not know how to get in touch with them since they are all unreacheable and stuff.
This is the main truth.

219 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5961 20:40

I can't post something original in this thread because I have the same confession as >>217.

220 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5961 22:04

I still don't really know what iichan is.

221 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5961 23:17

I used to think that iichan was 2chan.

222 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5978 18:49

I have a hard time letting this thread go.

223 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5980 04:46

This is one of the only threads I still read on 4-ch.

224 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5980 05:22

I wish my R and O keys worked better on my keyboard

225 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5980 14:19

I still can't whistle

226 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5981 00:35

College classes cause me to see and hear things the way a schizophrenic would.

227 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5981 00:45

>>226
I'd like to hear more about this

228 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5981 04:30

I maintain no meaningful contact with anyone except on 4-ch. It makes me really happy when someone replies to my messages.

229 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5981 14:14

>>228
<3

230 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5981 15:52

I love you, >>228. A strictly platonic love, but a love nonetheless!

231 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5981 16:14

>>228

I know people who make even less meaningful contact.

232 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5987 22:30

I drove into the HOV lane, but I was driving alone, so I changed back out.

233 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5991 16:14

If there is an HOV lane, there should also be a DQN lane.

234 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5995 05:09

I sound like Gackt but am nowhere near as pretty.

235 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5997 06:42

I now realize that I only bought my guitar because of K-On.

236 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5997 20:59

For the last few days I honestly believed Canada was spelled Kanada.

237 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5998 20:37

I'd like to post here a lot more, but I'm just not funny enough. Usually I write a post, spell-check it, realise it's shit and just close my browser.

238 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5999 02:27

I used to think HOV lane stood for Hovercraft Lane and was disappointed to never see them.

239 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5999 04:15

>>235

I want a keytar just because of Zlad.

240 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6000 03:20

I am a super-genius hacker that can make computers do things that most scientists would deem impossible, or at least of supernatural origin. To get my kicks, I seek out gullible people and make them lose their documents, or make valid email addresses wrong so they return to the sender, or make Explorer freeze, or make Napster lose its connection, or make their printer jam. Every once in a while, when I'm sure no-one will be there to believe them, I make satanic messages pop up.

I know how to do it. I'm a genius.

I am a real person, and while I could be using this ungodly talent to make the big bucks, I devote enormous resources and several hours a day, seven days a week to the sole purpose of bothering these people.

241 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6000 05:50

>>239
Much more justified than >>235.

FLY AWAY IN MY SPACE ROCKET
YOU NO NEED PUT MONEY IN MY POCKET

242 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6010 21:21

Everything I touch turns to crap.

243 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6011 02:55

I throw quarters at stop signs.

244 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6028 01:12

I had an Iranian professor who’d always begin lectures with a phrase like “Hello everyone”, and every time, I couldn’t help but think of Clonepa.

245 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6047 04:38

Out of all the characters on Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law, I always identified with the bear. He's just... there. It's almost like he runs the place, but nobody questions him. He should be questioned, but one look 't 'is face and you can't help but return the dumb, dopey smile.

246 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6047 13:01

I thought the "Post your current thought" thread was actually a confessional thread.

247 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6051 23:15

I'm 46 goddamn years old and still found Grandpa's interrupting burps hilarious.

248 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6052 00:43

sometimes when i unzip my pants to pee i'm not careful enough to watch what i'm doing so i end up peeing a bit on the corner side opposite the button but i just dry it off with some tp and it's good as new

249 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6052 03:05

I am Fujiwara No Mokou

250 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6052 03:26

I had to reread Grandpa's burps after reading >>247 in order to get the joke. But I am especially tired today!

251 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6055 20:06

I have an obsession with delicate, girly guys.

252 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6056 07:33

I'm a delicate, girly guy trying to bulk up.

253 Name: pretty cool guy : 1993-09-6056 08:06

i still think all your base is hilarious

254 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6062 18:38

I cannot play FPS games, because I empathize with the enemies, and I feel horribly guilty when I kill them.

255 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6062 19:27

I hate my life and I want to fly down a well.

256 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6063 05:44

I'm almost 23 and have never held a job.

257 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6063 06:16

>>256 said most of what I could say about myself, and so I have little else to say

258 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6063 16:21

i'd hit >>252 as long as he's girly enough.

259 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6063 18:48

I've never had a job, because I've never wanted one.

260 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6064 17:32

I never wipe myself after shower.

261 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6064 22:48

I've never had a job, because I'm too shy.

262 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6066 02:35

i don't really 'shower'. i turn on the shower, get in, and kind of lazily rotate in a circle for ten minutes.

263 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6066 14:52

Yesterday I played UBW's H-scene and laughed hysterically at the words 'boiling meat'.

264 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6067 00:38

Right now, there is a girl (that I am hanging out with) next to me. I am posting rather than talking to her.

265 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6067 05:50

I got to mess with an iPad today, and even though I derided them as useless, I want one now.

266 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6067 06:50

I really want to post in this thread. But I have nothing to say. Not only that, but somebody already confessed something exactly like this.

267 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6068 00:27

I'm about to masturbate, probably to hentai.

268 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6068 01:26

I masturbate before I have sex so my girlfriend thinks I have erectile dysfunction.

269 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6068 04:28

I post about my "girlfriend" to make my fellow NEETs feel like shit

270 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6068 06:57

I prefer not to use the toilet seat. Until last year I didn't use it at all.

271 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6068 13:26

Women only like me for my body.

272 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6068 18:01

I wanna play until I die, I wanna lose my reasons why.

Joking aside, I see bullet patterns when I close my eyes.

273 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6068 23:25

I'm in love with the representation of Ayanami Rei seen in "The Rei's Diner" threads.

I know she isn't real. She's not even the product of a single individual's imagination; she's the collective creation of a hundred (ok, that's a bit generous) bored BBS browsers, making variations on a specified template. Yet, I just can't help but feel attracted to her. That dry wit, that saucy apathy, that calm, collected personality - it drives me crazy!

Where the hell can I meet a girl like that? Where can I find a girl like The Rei?

274 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6069 00:53

Dude, it's not like she'd ever put out.

275 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6069 02:09

>>274

I don't care, as long as she can hold a decent conversation.

276 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6069 02:48

　　　-‐‐- 、
／　　　　　ヽ
!　 !　人|,.iﾉl_ﾉ）
i 　乂-‐　－! i　Sorry, we ran out of spare Reis.
＼ヽ .ゞ　- ﾉノ 　
　　｀｀フ　i´
　 　 / ＼ﾉゝ
　　/__i |丱!|
━━つ━つ━━∞∞∞========
==　　　THE REI'S DINER　　　　==
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

277 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6069 07:45

You!
I wanna take you to a gay bar,
I wanna take you to a gay bar,
I wanna take you to a gay bar, gay bar, gay bar.

278 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6070 02:30

>>276

I don't want a replacement. All I need is you, baby.

279 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6070 04:11

　　　-‐‐- 、
／　　　　　ヽ
!　 !　人|,.iﾉl_ﾉ）
i 　乂-‐　－! i　Sorry, we ran out of patience for invisible idiots who
＼ヽ .ゞ　- ﾉノ 　CONVENIENTLY FORGET ABOUT THE RESTRAINING ORDER.
　　｀｀フ　i´
　 　 / ＼ﾉゝ
　　/__i |丱!|
━━つ━つ━━∞∞∞========
==　　　THE REI'S DINER　　　　==
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

280 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6070 04:22

>>279

Never change.

281 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6070 14:50

　　　へ-ﾍ
　　 ﾐ*´ｰ｀ﾐ She hasn't changed since 1996, nya~
　～(,_ｕｕﾉ

282 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6070 15:39

>>281

But that's three years from now!
What are you trying to say?

283 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6071 10:07

>>282

Stop thinking of time as a linear construct.

284 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6071 22:00

I think of time as a linear construct instead of feeling, and now I will was tanasinn.

285 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6073 19:01

>>155
I had to write a paper on an online concert for my Music Appreciation course and chose a Morning Musume concert.

286 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6084 19:52

I slashed my wrist to get the day off work.

287 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6085 16:47

I was fone...

288 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6089 05:06

All these Yoshinoya posts make me want to try a beef bowl, but I’m not so sure I’d actually like it.

289 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6089 18:50

I like to watch my own posts.

290 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6089 22:57

I roam the Forbidden Garden and silently sympathize with the last poster of each thread there.

291 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6089 23:33

>>288 They're pretty good, so long as you go easy on the sauce.

292 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6090 10:10

>>256 here

I'm 23 now, I still don't have a job, and am now wishing suffering upon the world and becoming really strangely religious.

293 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6094 17:55

I don't like porn.

294 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6095 01:34

all alone for saturday night (as usual)

295 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6096 14:39

I'd be a hikikomori if I didn't have to work.

296 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6096 17:32

I'd work if I didn't have to be an hikikomori.

297 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6096 20:40

I have failed every course of college I ever tried, but am too afraid of rejection to try and get a job instead. So I mooch off my parents and wallow in self-pity instead.

298 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6098 19:03

I stopped coming to DQN as often in favor of SAoVQ but I post just as infrequently there as I did here.

299 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6098 19:53

I like to crossdress.

300 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6098 22:11

I can't make rice properly.

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