ITT the previous poster has a largely useless superpower (512)

1 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6330 08:33

>>0 gets an honorary mention in nearly all ITT threads relating to the previous poster, despite never making a single contribution of his own.

163 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6578 11:04

When standing in a supermarket queue, >>162's wallet will always contain precisely 70 cent less than the price of his purchases. Economists dread the day he decides to go shopping for a 69 cent item.

164 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6579 16:02

>>163 can give unborn foetuses headaches.

165 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6579 18:40

>>164 can, with a tiny gesture, precisely deflect a drop of rain so it goes behind your glasses and right into your open eye.

166 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6579 18:58

>>165 can fly, but only if they are in an airplane.

167 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6582 04:16

>>166 is able to link with the fictional beasts of the movie Avatar

168 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6582 15:00

>>167's fingernails grow at 1.2 times the normal rate.

169 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6582 23:12

>>168 Can rescue his grandmother from the Bugblatter Beast of Trall more quickly than a Vogon can.

170 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6582 23:13

>>169 can predict the ending of any Youtube Poop video ever made.

171 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6583 14:03

>>170 Fucked Gutsman's ass.

172 Name: ڤ( l ‿ l ),T!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6583 21:51

>>171's death will destroy the universe, but only by certain philosophical concepts.

173 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6583 22:34

>>172 can shed his hair at will.

174 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6584 14:24

>>173 can type faster than anyone on the planet, but only if he's using a sanskrit keyboard.

175 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6584 22:51

>>174 can make the universe cease to exist twice.

176 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6585 17:41

>>175 can increase his own anxiety at will.

177 Name: ڤ( l ‿ l ),T!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6585 18:43

>>176 can turn into an angsty teenager, but has no control over this power.

178 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6585 19:01

>>177 can become charming, well-spoken, and handsome, but only when no one else is around.

179 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6585 19:50

>>178 becomes !ESpeoN/nPA at spontaneous times.

180 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6586 00:35

>>179 can enter into a deep, catatonic reverie as long as no one is around.

181 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6586 01:05

>>180 can hear any and every dying animal at all times.

182 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6586 02:25

>>181 has the power to kill himself by saying a magic two-line ritual.

183 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6586 09:41

>>182 can recite the recipe for any dish he tastes.

184 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6586 15:44

>>183 can recite the source code for any program he executes.

185 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6586 17:35

>>184's voice can placate enraged badgers.

186 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6587 13:38

>>185 can unzip files with his mind.

187 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6587 13:41

>>186 can unzip flies with his mind.

188 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6588 02:36

>>187 Does not need to construct additional pylons.

189 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6588 05:38

>>188 can /away on IRC like a pro, even though no one /msg's him in the first place.

190 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6588 08:42

>>189 can use two computers simultaneously to tank his own characters on any given MMORPG.

191 Name: shana : 1993-09-6588 09:22

A a B b C c D d E e F f G g H h I i J j K k L l M m N n O o P p Q q R r S s T t U u V v W w X x Y y Z z

192 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6589 13:57

>>191 can translate that cipher he just used to describe >>190 but chooses not to.

193 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6589 19:31

>>192 can tune a lute by ear.

194 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6937 22:32

>>193 can cause fizzy drinks to go flat just by staring at them.

195 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6937 23:49

>>194 can read with their eyes shut.

196 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6938 00:03

>>195 can bump a thread without posting in it.

197 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6938 13:47

>>196 is able to lower his own kidneys' efficiency at will.

198 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6940 19:01

>>199 has the unconditional ability of receiving all the blame of the previous poster's deliberate attempt at messing up the posting order.

ITT the next poster now has a largely useless super power.

199 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6941 19:14

>>198 was bitten by a radioactive daffodil and became Daffodil Man, with all the specials powers of a daffodil

200 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6941 19:43

>>199 can count up to 200 things with a quick sideways glance.

201 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6944 12:50

>>200 can see the forest through the trees

202 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6945 13:04

>>201 can transmute gold into clay.

203 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6949 22:51

>>202 Can get lung cancer without smoking.

204 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6949 23:11

>>203 has telepathy that only applies to useless minutiae.

205 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6952 10:22

>>204's hair is 125% as strong as average.

206 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6952 13:34

>>205 can dive into peoples toilets

207 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6953 03:20

>>206 can forever remain indoors for his/her body produces its own source of vitamin D.

addendum: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyiC3x6-Kzk

208 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6953 23:14

>>207 can smile indefinitely without any discomfort, soreness, or pain

209 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6955 00:21

>>208 can perform telekinesis, but only on flowers.

210 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6955 02:04

>>209 can psychically control as many as 200 aphids simultaneously.

211 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6955 06:36

>>210
can change the wavelength of individual photons with their mind.

212 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6956 04:39

>>211
can turn turpentine into Jeremiah Weed.

213 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6956 18:41

>>212 is immune to the effects of laxatives.

214 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6961 20:59

>>213 Creates the most static cling when he does laundry.

215 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6962 17:27

>>214's skin deflects neutrinos.

216 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6962 21:00

However, >>215's skin only deflects 40% of neutrinos.

217 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6963 04:00

>>216 can make anyone say the word "neutrinos" out loud once every thirty minutes.

218 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6963 10:44

>>218 can change their flight path mid-fall through the rapid fire clenching and unclenching of their buttocks

219 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6964 15:55

>>218 Can score 5 lines simultaneously when playing Tetris.

220 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6964 16:48

One in every ten of >>219's farts sounds like a trumpet.

221 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6965 01:16

>>220 can get a splitting headache at will.

222 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6965 20:06

>>221 can be allergic to the rain at will.

223 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6965 20:29

>>222 can walk his dog in the rain at will.

224 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6965 21:11

>>223 can make his dog shit on command.

225 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6965 23:57

>>224 can glow in the dark.

226 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6966 04:49

>>225 can convince anybody that the voice on the TV is Robin Williams, no matter who it is.

227 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6966 05:27

>>226 can produce unnaturally mellifluous flatulence.

228 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6966 11:12

The sound of >>227 singing attracts cockroaches.

229 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6968 00:16

>>228 can grow lunch lady arms and use them as retractable wings.

230 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6968 01:51

>>229's presence is oddly calming.

231 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6968 02:09

>>230's presence is mildly uplifting.

232 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6968 09:41

>>231 can shapeshift into a big warm fuzzy mitten.

233 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6968 13:46

( ) >>232 can wear >>231 like a glove!

234 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6968 19:26

>>233 can transform quartz watches into mechanical watches and vice versa.

235 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6968 23:05

>>234's thumbs are detachable.

236 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6971 18:25

After the DVD format completely took over, >>235 mastered setting the clock used on VCRs.

237 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6972 01:01

>>236 doesn't need to pee.

238 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6972 08:24

>>237 can learn a person's deepest secrets by listening to them yodel.

239 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6973 00:33

>>238 knows the answers to questions immediately after they are relevant.

240 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6973 01:37

>>239 can tell if one is laying about whether they ate breakfast or not.

241 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6973 01:51

>>240 sees lies spoken as sheets of paper on the ground

242 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6973 09:56

>>241 can temporarily access the full content of any book by ritually burning it.

243 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7007 07:33

>>242 can revive a thread from the front page.

244 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7007 09:00

>>243 has a limitless supply of mediocre jokes.

245 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7014 14:48

>>244 can transmute used girls' underwear into pudding. The frillier the underwear, the sweeter the pudding.

246 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7014 22:17

>>245 can see women's pants if he focuses his brain.

247 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7015 09:40

>>246 can summon his own pants.

248 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7015 11:34

>>247 instantly knows the exact volume of gas expelled every time someone farts nearby.

249 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7015 12:04

When seperated from his body, >>248's hair turns into spaghetti.

250 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7015 13:24

>>249 I don't know, man, that sounds pretty useful to me.

Also, >>249 can travel through time at a rate of one second per second.

251 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7015 17:33

>>250 can blind himself with any type of footwear

252 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7016 07:03

Whenever >>251 looks through a microscope, any living organism on the slide is instantly killed.

253 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7016 09:44

>>252 has to wear rad shades just like Scott Summers, but his eyes are only powerful enough for a laser pointer.

254 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7016 10:37

>>253 can make people in his presence slightly more predisposed to losing track of what time it is.

255 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7278 10:47

When playing Tetris, >>254 on average receives more squares and lines and fewer of the awkward shapes.

256 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7306 00:31

>>255 can sense the direction of the nearest sandwich, but not the distance.

257 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7306 12:06

>>256 involuntarily attracts moths in the same manner as a bright light.

258 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7306 12:56

>>257 knows how many brushes are in the world at any given time

259 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7306 13:31

>>258 attracts 1.5 times as many dwarves per migration wave in Dwarf Fortress.

260 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7306 16:15

>>259 does not feel pain when stepping on a plug

261 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7306 17:29

>>260 can shoot invisible laser beams from his eyes.

262 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7308 12:35

>>261 can shapeshift into another version of himself that differs only in having a moustache.

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