I'm near some cold Midwestern lake watching Al Gore speak. I'm sitting next to a cute girl. Al tries to demonstrate an app for poor people that shows you free and cheap food nearby, but all he's finding is grass. He keeps trying to find coconuts, but gives up and just skips the segue into the next part of his speech: plugging a brand of environmentally friendly fur coats made of coconut hair. The girl next to me is offended by this and threatens to break up with her politician boyfriend if he buys them. He buys them anyway. I plan to put the moves on her.