In the beginning I am running in the forest naked as fast as I can, as if I'm escaping from something. I encounter big swarms of aggressive bees recklessly stinging me on the road but it doesn't stop me. Then I get to a branch and realize that all but one of the stings were actually nails. Strangely, those nails are actually reversed, pointing up with the head inside my skin.
Suddenly, an empty cinema room. I'm standing there, examining the only one of those stings that isn't a nail, and vomitting on it in order to neutralize the poison. The nails are expulsed out of my skin, the scars and the vomit disappear, I take a seat, and people start getting inside the room.
The film starts, and I know even before its beginning it's a sequel to a show I really like (Kaamelott). But that film is fucking terrible, and the only scene I remember is some guy running ejecting nails out of his skin.
Suddenly, I'm in a medieval Europe-styled market next to the forest and a railroad. Someone is with me and goes on the railroad. I tell that person what ey's doing is dangerous and ey comes back. I look at an arcade game in the market and decide to play it. The screen shows a cylindric tower slightly to the left in front of a blue sky with a few clouds, and there are ghosts with their tongues out represented exactly by the same sprite as in the Touhou games for PC-98.
And then I wake up.
Dreamt that so much trash had piled up in my room that I had to use three whole bags to get it out.
My dream came true!!!!!
I had a dream where I drifted a US specification Toyota AE86 across Wall Street NYC. I made sure that everybody photographed the parts that are found on the US version.
I've been having recurring dreams about being involved with my university's fission reactor program, and accidentally having one of the two cores melt down on me (followed by various activities, usually cleaning up radiation and covering up the incident). Last night was the first time the supervisors authorized me to access the control system, allowing me to finally shut down the reactor.
dreamt, among other things, that I had a detachable double ended penis that still worked that was longer than my forearm + hand.
I flew into a self harm/murderous rage because I returned to the grocer without my pie ingredients!
My Euclidean-geometrically-challenged dream brain hallucinated that the "C" in "Cola" in the "Coca-Cola" logo was topologically a hammer and sickle.
(Hate that most of my visual thoughts are warped half-impressions that can't be illustrated... but at least most of them aren't worth a goddamn.)
Dreamt that I started a document about (retarded e-drama) e-celebrities on my computer, and then a DQN hacked into it and started adding entries on his own, and we flirted using the document.
Ganondorf, Link, and Zelda are in an office in an ad for TotK. They are having an archery contest and Ganondorf has already gone. Link shoots with perfect form but it's some clunky wooden monstrosity like you can construct in TotK. Zelda is up next and after doing a graceful only-in-fiction spin, does this goof-ass awkward underhand draw at the extent of her arms' range of motion and the video slows down as she makes a retard face.
Ad #2, same setting. Ganondorf uses some magic to duplicate a brown parchment pattern for the background of a full-color strategy guide (for some reason I can tell that the large medieval-style initials in sequence spell out BLOSSOM OF JERUSALEM). Cut to a public park where there are many copies of the guide scattered about as people drop them in disgust, as it appears a raunchy image of Ganondorf is printed on every spread. But the source photo that got mistakenly watermarked on the back side of the magical photocopies was a more innocent one of him displaying plumber's crack while playing sports in the very same park, and I hear him say "oh no!" in embarrassment.
Had an odd dream recently. A very odd one, normally dreams have some sort of "narrative" to them, some amount of first-person perspective, but this dream was entirely of me "remembering" some facts and seeing visions related to them.
Facts about cucumbers.
Entirely false facts about cucumbers.
I remembered about a process called "jupering," wherein a cucumber is boiled in order to turn the pulp on the inside into a clear jelly. Then, I saw a vision of a cucumber still on a vine being pricked at the bottom, clear jelly pouring out of the puncture and forming into a transparent, jewel-like, shining, dew-like, jelly mini-cucumber hanging off of the base of the original cucumber. This is the goal of jupering, to make it so that your punctured cucumbers can produce miniature jelly cucumbers from their now-jelly-like insides. These jelly cucumbers are fragile and almost liquid, any disturbance makes them fall apart into many shining drops of cucumber fluid. Then I was remembering myself boiling a cucumber and poking it with a knife. A small jelly cucumber reforms from the jelly that leaks out of the now-drained and flabby real cucumber and collapses into clear, slightly greenish fluid. I then saw a vision of a sort of trellis corridor, with walls of cucumber vines growing like grape vines, and a man was steaming the two trellis walls with some sort of steam gun. Thousands of little drops of jelly began to pool out of the surfaces of the cucumbers, forming into little jelly cucumbers that hung off of their now-drained source cucumbers, and they began to fall to the ground, breaking apart as they fell into a rain of thousands of beautifully shining cucumber fluid droplets, scattering on the ground like jewels and quickly dissipating. This is the desired end goal, and I understood then that there is a whole industry of cucumber jupering existing for this one purpose.
Quite possibly the most beautiful dream I've had in recent memory, as odd as that is to say about a nonsense dream about cucumbers.
I'm wandering through an apartment building that didn't have walls between the apartments, so I keep straying into other people's homes while trying to find my own home I was just in.
I was a gifted an old computer. It had a cube-like white case with many ports, and the boot splash screen said "Windows 68030".
I made a post in the cute girls thread. It had something to do with Donald Trump being extremely old, and also Alaskan? I wish I could remember the exact wording so I could make this dream come true.
"Rapeman" appeared in my dream and announced that he was going to molest me. He took off his clothes, and his skin started glowing alternatingly blue/yellow. I easily thwarted his plan by waking up (ca. 2 am).
I heard a voice saying "who soils the earth has to lie under it."
Dreamt that some new card game and/or video game had become popular worldwide and that the main in-game currency was some sort of African berry.
I then went outside to find thousands of pitch-black giganigger sub-Saharan blackest-possible African laborers lining every single street, picking berries off of African berry trees that had now replaced every single normal tree. The berry industry was so lucrative that every tree by the street and in public parks had been replaced with berry trees so that the Africans could make money by selling the berries to people playing the game, as well as use them in the game themselves (the card/video game was just as popular with primitive African tribes), a sort of insane bleeding-into-real-life version of the Runescape economy.
One of the pitch-black African laborers started giving me a lecture on how the trees are a symbol of colonialism because this distinctly African tree had been brought to the West to make hw*te pipo money because of a card game. A white supervisor monitoring the laborers told me that the berries are completely inedible and useless. This was all happening right on the side of a road, these trees had formerly been ornamental trees. I then noticed that one of the berry trees had a different fruit tree branch grafted on. The African berries sort of looked like deep reddish-purple cranberries, this other fruit was bright magenta, the size of a horse chestnut, and covered in long, thick, soft spikes sort of visually resembling durian spikes (but longer and very soft). The white supervisor told me that the fruit was edible and eaten in Spain, while the pitch-black Africans insisted that it's inedible and that they have plenty in Africa and that they never eat it. Dream me was somehow already aware of its edibility, so I took a bite and it was good, but unfortunately filled with worms so I threw it on the ground.
Then I woke up.
>>588
Forgot to mention - all the African laborers were naked.
I saw the trailer of a musical called "Dies Irae". It was some kind of revenge story. It had metal songs, and all the characters were dressed in black. A woman character started a monologue with "You men are so rotten..." I also checked a paperback book about it, which described the characters, scenes, and themes. I would've watched it.
I hallucinated an entire alternate history where my website (now more than 20 years old) actually had been a successful hobbyist project for a time with contributing writers and a forum with occasional posts from all the intervening years that I hadn't even seen somehow. But it was woefully out of date and mediocre now. And yet the people who volunteered content over the years (who seemed to be Internet friends that I no longer remember) wanted to get paid and unionize((?) against me even though I made absolutely nothing from it work and they already had the rights to their stuff.
But mostly, it was not the betrayal that bothered me. It was not being caught up on the forum and responding to legitimate questions people had about the site dying. How had this been going on for years without my notice? My own site's forum, without my participation? Why was this entire new history I hadn't seen conflicting so much with what I knew to be true real life, that my site has never been and will never be what I dreamed of when I started it?
Somewhere in the middle of this, I even noticed all the dreamlike qualities like how all the answers to my inquiries were incomplete, shallow, and absurd with made-up words I can't recall. But I didn't wake up so it kept going.
Boarded a ferry on my motorcycle, accidentally dropped it and it started making weird noises. I started disassembling the engine and found that the outer rims of all the valves had seized to the valve seats, and only the inner parts were still attached to the stems. Then I woke up.
I had an otherwise unremarkable dream where I was wandering around an office building trying to find my office because that's where my custom homemade Atari 800xl workstation was and I didn't want anyone to take it since the parts are impossible to find these days and I thought "Not this dream again,"as I hooked up an ottoman with an embedded display in it.
When I woke up, I realized I'd never had that dream before.
in which Air France has a tradition of landing on a random spot in the countryside, that the passengers may loot the nearby village's bread
the people at my booth table (don't know who) in a restaurant took my steak, threw it on the floor, and insulted the cooks with a string of bizarre reasons
it turns out they had been doing an activism and inserted a spider into the meat because they were trying to poison Joe Rogan. while i consider the best hangry way to punch them in their stupid face-saving faces, I see my brother's shoelace has caught fire (because I can see under the table, as if my head was positioned at table level this entire time) and as it spreads to his sleeve he asks why it is hotter than the sun. he tries shaking it violently, which makes it worse, and I tell him "stop. drop, and roll, idiot" since I can see there's way more space under the table than in real life
There was an extremely long, thin cave. Near the beginning there was a belly crawl and then a short sump, but after that it was just like one of those perfectly straight 1m x 2m Minecraft tunnels, with some speleothems on the walls and that was it. A guy was telling me about the time he tried just walking as far along the tunnel as possible to see how far it went, and his light broke/ran out of power/something like that when he was hours in, so he had to walk all the way back in complete darkness. He kind of started to lose his mind, especially when he got too tired and had to lie down to sleep, and woke up again completely disoriented still in this pitch black claustrophobic space. He made it out okay in the end though!
Dreamed about being an anime girl getting spitroasted.
Dreamed I was playing a Contra game, but not any of the specific real ones. The colors/details were more arcade or SNES level rather than NES. At one point there was an organic/body horror sort of level that seemed to dial up the grossness compared to the usual Contra presentation of those types of themes, and in general it seemed a little bloodier and gorier than the series usually is. One of the bosses was some sort of cyborg triceratops thing. Later there was more of a slick tech lab sort of level which I lost to the boss of, a blatant Terminator knockoff (huge buff Schwarzenegger-looking dude who showed more and more of a robotic endoskeleton as he took battle damage). He kind of would charge and bodyslam you and presumably you were meant to run under him and attack from the other side when he would jump but it seemed kind of unpredictable when he'd jump. The game over screen also dialed up the horror element with an implication that rather than just being killed outright the hero was captured and implanted with an alien parasite.
I was one of those 19th century doctors who'd treat puritanical Victorian women for "hysteria" by giving them an orgasm with one of those giant steam powered vibrators except I'd just eat them out instead
Pulled a random book of a shelf at a library. The title was "THE SEARCH FOR SEXUAL INTERCOURSE" written in one of those faux-Asian Roman letter fonts, and the cover illustration was in a traditional Japanese painting style, with a wandering ronin type figure on the right while on the left a Chinese dragon and an oni were blocking his path.
I dreamed of a silly anime fight between dave strider and caliborn from homestuck, beating the shit out of eachother as walking fortresses and attack drones fell out of the sky all to the sync of an epic dubstep score.
I was enlightened with the knowledge that even in dreams dubstep sucks ass.
I've been paranoid of computer viruses for quite some time, becoming constantly nervous at the possibility of a dastardly malware slowing down my puter, having me check task manager and running virus scans.
I had a dream that I sat at my computer, browsing the net and listening to music, my desk and screen looked authentic enough plus the lack of lucidity in a dream made it so that at the time it seemed real.
Then tabs started slowing and closing, my video player crashed then attempting to open it again yielded an error message regarding missing files, my desktop refreshed and icons were messed up, everythings continuously grinded to a halt followed by a window opening for "Windows Recovery Process", but then even at that point my cursor also slowed down, all text on the window got messed up, the picture on my screen started to look as if it was melting and melting and melting... and then I woke up.
It was easily one of the worst dreams I've had made worse by and possibly emanating from my intense need to piss (no more late night over-hydration, keep yourself safe from piss nightmares people), but it also scared the fear of viruses out of me because no matter what kind of bitcoin miner or whatever I put on my PC from browsing random sites or pirating games it was never going to be as fucking bad as this.
My dreams are significantly better than waking life.
I chronically oversleep to stretch out the dreams as long as possible and struggle to wake up knowing that nothing in my day will compare to dreaming.
Then when I finally get up, I spend days not sleeping to avoid getting crushed by glimpses of a happy life again.
Dreamed that my penis fell off and then a bunch of people broke into my house and I had to leave. I was upset because my penis was still in there, on the floor, and I needed it back so doctors could sew it back on.
There was a website like OpenStreetMap, but with satellite view and where users could add waypoints for animal sightings (or where they knew there were exotic animals in zoos/captivity etc). I knew that a guy who I had a crush on was using the website, so I started going through accounts on the website trying to figure out if it was him based on the animals + locations he had picked out.
The setup: I don't remember it too clearly, but I Dilbert is on the run for some reason. Perhaps it was something like he got grandfathered into some benefits as long as no one important talked to him about it
Strip #2: We see Wally's messy office, but today, mercurial fellow that he is, he has decided to poke the bear instead of his usual parasitic antics. Dilbert has camouflaged himself with a vertical belt of many 16oz water bottles, but is wrapped back-bendedly around the back of Wally's CRT as if a martyred saint on a torture device that is both a wheel and the rack. He prays, "Accounting, save me!" (note: Accounting is explicitly demonic in the Dilbertverse)
Strip #3: In a completely dark room, the Pointy Haired Boss is heard wondering aloud to undercover inquisitors that "maybe he's in the darkest corner of the darkest office". Out of exactly that spot, Dilbert mutters, "How did he know?"
>>610
clarification: the PHB is in the hall outside the room
Had a dream about fighting a minotaur in a VR game and the board seems to think the full account of it is a spam.
>>612
A number of pizza spam adjacent words are filtered right now, try posting it on the IRC and I'll see if I can help you.
There was an orgy happening in my childhood home. An older guy really wanted to fuck me (and I really wanted to fuck him too) but I couldn't find any lube! The entire rest of the dream was just me frantically searching the house for lube, and instead finding superglue, toothpaste, liquid soap, etc.
>>604
hahahaha I can see a book exactly like that existing in real life
Had a dream that a tiny birthmark on my chest under my left nipple had developed a small hole. I decided to push on the skin around it, and a proper, fully developed extra nipple popped out of the hole. Then I forced in back into the hole and went back to doing normal things around my house. Later in that same dream I check my chest again, but this time the small hole is on the areola of my left nipple. I press on it and a small skin tag emerges instead of an extra nipple, which I again push back in. I already have an annoying small skin tag on that areola and I don't want a second, so I commit to going to a dermatologist to get rid of it. Later in the dream I check my nipple again, the hole is still on my left nipple, but this time I push out a long, wobbly, black skin tag that I can't push back into the tiny pinhole. I put my shirt back on, then take it off again and now the skin tag is back in the hole again. I continue on with my day.
Past this point the dream transitions into some cool adventure that I remember none of, and later on again into a high school dream wherein I was back in high school but the top few floors of the school were an airship and the school had cool flower-covered balconies and also an internal smaller airship in the bigger airship and also I was sharing liquor with the vice-principals. At one point I get arrested for drinking beer in class. There was some narrative to it that I remember none of.
Had an extremely internet-influenced dream the other night.
Me and another user from here (you already know who you are!) were somehow transported into the "tanasinn mind chamber," taking the form of a translucent white cube floating over the ocean. The chamber was populated by a group of mathematicians working on discovering dynamic systems meeting certain criteria, and they were directly manipulating abstract objects floating in the chamber through wild gesticulations and incoherent screeching. We could all fly inside the cube. I had a very nice but totally nonsensical conversation with a mathematician who looked like a cross between the happy merchant and John Baez. At some point along the way, the chamber's base transformed and expanded into a translucent, white version of a Bush-era US government office. At this moment I realized that I had a keyboard-like device on me that, if plugged into one of the computers next to its keyboard, would allow that computer to communicate with the "real world," which happened to be the Homestuck universe. This is because the Bush administration had established communications with the Homestuck world as part of 9/11. Upon plugging the device in, the computer displayed medical info on various Homestuck characters. With a few presses of the very chocolate-bar-shaped buttons on the device, John Egbert and Jade Harley were now cured of syphilis.
I woke up shortly after, then went back to sleep for another 10 hours during which I had some less insane dreams that I no longer remember (though at least one of them involved bullying a fat egirl for having saggy tits, which is possibly more insane).
That was no dream. Now John is freed from the permanent consequences of a momentary lapse in reason.
Thanks to you.