I wish I had a cat.
I also wish I could start a new thread, but there's far too many already right now.
Earlier today, on my way home, I saw a cat sitting on the roof of a house. It was white with black patches, and it was sitting overlooking the street. I went up to it and it lay down, with just its head sticking over the edge. I stared into its little green eyes and it gazed back at me. I'm not sure how long I stood there, but it can't have been more than a minute or two. Nonetheless, that was easily the best thing to have happened to me today.
So anyway, getting back on topic, a few weeks ago I found myself staying in a pleasantly scenic mountain town in northern Italy. For reasons I don't even remember, I set myself the arbitrary goal of locating a cat. Perhaps I was suffering from a fluffy cat deficiency, I don't know.
As it turns out, I stayed there for almost two weeks, leaving the house every day and going for fairly long walks around residential areas, both inner city and rural, and in that time I did not see a single cat.
Well, I suppose that isn't strictly true; I saw one cat, but...
http://imgur.com/a/f6VKr
Has sexual intercourse in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation and with the lights out.
>>18 sat alone in a Japanese love hotel and masturbated to the in-room porn before crying himself to sleep.
>>19 Has to build hos own sex toys because his anus is too wide for any toy sold in a store.
>>24 goes into a state of shock if he doesn't drink his daily allotment of dog cum
When >>25 went to a ranch, he got thrown out for horse bestiality.
>>28 upgraded his car with a faux tail pipe which has a fleshlight in it.
>>29 Got bored of using hot candle wax to turn himself on, so he used napalm instead.
>>31 doesn't only knows LaTeX. He wears it over his entire body.
>>36 Walks through the vegetable isle with a look of desire in his eyes.
>>37 Grinds Viagra pills into powder and then snorts them to get a stronger erection.
>>38 is an audiophile who enjoys inerting a 1/4" jack into his penis.
Biological weapon laboratories pay >>41 a fortune for all the incredibly dangerous sexually transmitted diseases he has.
>>42 has the world's largest collection of Robotnik x Sonic hentai.
>>44 stores all his released sperm in a jar covered with Sailor Moon stickers.
>>48 has actually never had sex, but has manipulated at least 57 people into having sex or masturbating on camera for him. He does not actually masturbate to these videos himself; he uses the knowledge of the fact that he manipulated them to gain a sort of sexual pleasure. >>48 is able to get a hands-free ejaculation just by thinking about the fact that he has manipulated so many people.
>>49 Made a bee sting his dick so the inflammation would make it bigger.
>>57 rides trains all across Japan so he gets numerous opportunities to touch women inappropriately and get away with it.
>>59 Got tired of being fisted, so he had his partner put a foot up his anus.
>>62 reflexively needs to be whipped every time he hears a Devo song.
>>63 has a Devo fetish
(But don't feel bad, once you start, you can't stop. I know)
>>65 wrote an extreme sex fanfic involving a four-way between Egoraptor, Jontron, Barry and Rgue the Bat.
>>67 uses cute euphemisms for ejaculation, like "elephant's trunk", so he can get his rocks off talking dirty in front of minors.
>>70 observed that his post number looks like a satisfied penis dangling near a gaping orifice.
>>71 couldn't find any little girl panties to steal this week and had to masturbate into his own tighty whities he'd been saving since childhood.
>>72 Created a scheme to get used panties from young girls.
First he buys new panties that are fashionable
Then he tells girls that if you give me your used panties, I will give you some nice new ones.
He has a large number of bonus points on his Victoria's Secret credit card.
>>74 cybernetically replaced his penis with a Wiimote and plays video games with it all day.
>>76 Shoved a pine cone up his ass because ordinary anal stimulation is enough.
>>77 is a victim of http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1351113079/333 but secretly likes it all.
>>78 Built tentacles for himself so he could recreate scenes from his favorite Japanese porn movies
After >>79 found fruit flavored condoms, he invented genital and semen flavored fruit.
>>83 Has perfect maps of A/C ductwork in buildings. That way he can spy on the women in any room, and not fall through the weakest duct.
>>85 perspires at the thought of being publicly tighed-up and given some rough spanking.
>>88 intentionally got nostril-fucked by a guy with a micropenis.
>>90 Got hypoxia by getting multiple Brazilian porn stars to fart in his face.
>>91 Steals keys from people who work in morgues. That way he can get as much necrophilia as he wants.
>>92 loves to have a bunch of hunks ejaculate on him whilst he is hanging on the balls.
>>93 Set up a camera in his bathroom to record people peeing, but the only person who uses his bathroom is him, but he still masturbates to his videos of himself peeing.
>>94 Visits China so he can do all kinds of horrible things to unwanted baby girls.
>>96 masturbates while fantasizing about cleaning second-hand keyboards with his tongue.
>>99 Paid someone in the "ITT the previous poster is a nerd" thread to create the world's most advanced cock ring.
>>100 Put on a sailor suit, and got buttfucked by a guy in a sailor suit, simultaneously sucking off a guy in a Japanese boy's school uniform. He successfully modeled 2 sexual stereotypes at the same time, a typical Japanese schoolgirl, and a typical lonely seaman.
>>102 would tell you about his hardcore tentacle-nipples fetish, but he's busy writing your character into the tentacle-nipples eroge he's currently making.
>>104 Dressed up as Sea Man of South Park and made love to Gay Fish Kanye West.
>>107 fucked someone's ass with the horn of a unicorn costume, and then had the same thing done to him by someone else wearing a unicorn costume.
>>108 custom sews hermaphroditic unicorn costumes based on MLP characters.
Walking through >>110's house and not touching anything that had his body fluids on it is like playing Touhou on lunatic mode.
>>112 Named his penis "Rocky" and wanks it with a boxing glove.
>>117 created a piñata of Zardoz so he could beat it with his evil penis.
>>119 bought the Cock Flavored Soup mix and was disappointed that it didn't taste like the cock he expected.
>>122 Shoved a rabbit up his ass because gerbils weren't good enough for hi anymore.
>>123 took a man in a rabbit suit up his ass while quoting Bugs Bunny.
>>124 Held an enormous crap in for 2 weeks, so he could amazing anal stimulation, and have a gape that lasts all day.
>>126 can't achieve orgasm even when reading this thread, because it still lacks that Special Extra Something.
>>128 Built a fleshlight that simulates having a domina step on his penis with high heels.
>>129 is on a mission to develop the best faux shit formula to use with his fleshlight anus.
>>133 Has oval shaped nipples from using nipple clamps for too long.
>>137 Disguised himself as a urinal to get more golden showers.
>>138 is such a pervert that he became bisexual because he exhausted every piece of straight pornography in the known universe.
>>139 wasn't satisfied by mere bisexuality and is a pansexual.
>>140 knows that you can't spell "amusement" without "semen".
>>142 Has sex with retarded people and records it on video. He calls it "Tardcore"
>>145 bred a new strain of cucumber that's 70% more dildonic than the standard variety, and calls it the cuCUMber.