Previously:
http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1341413503/

For a moment you stand, perfectly still, in the half-light of the laboratory, listening to the slow, steady tapping of the two sets of footsteps as they draw ever closer. Somewhere in the building a clock strikes twelve, the deafening sound reverberating through everything around you. The footsteps stop. Without meaning to, you hold your breath.

>>/994
As it may well be your last opportunity, you lunge forwards, grab the computer monitor and tear it from the wall. The cable pulls taught and snaps at the base in a shower of sparks. The lights go out, plunging you into complete darkness. There is a startled yelp from the North, most likely from Mecha Alexei.

>>/995
Fearing Cassandra-chan may be planning to ambush you from the darkness, you strike out wildly in every direction. You accidentally bump into a workbench, knocking several pieces of glassware to the ground, where they shatter. "Who's there? Show yourself!" demands the voice from the North. Despite the assertive tone, their voice is clearly shaking.

>>/996
You bite into the darkness, but your teeth encounter no resistance. You try to metamorphosise into the darkness itself, but find that you require level 12 telekinesis, level 5 healing, level 5 thaumaturgy and 75 mana to shapeshift. You currently have level 10 telekinesis, level 6 healing, level 2 thaumaturgy and 720 mana. You also have four unspent skillpoints.

>>/997
You try to contract all your skeletal muscles at once. You don't really know anything about sweaty homos or how they grunt, but go ahead and make a fairly low, masculine snorting sound.

>>/998
You make a point of not starting any new threads - not that you'd be able to anyway in your present situation. As it so happens, one starts itself anyway, completely outside of your control.

>>/999
You attempt to summon the power of the >>1000GET, but find yourself a single permille off. How embarrassing!

That very second, the clock stops chiming and the ringing fades away into the impenetrable blackness all around you. You hear an all-too-familiar voice behind you, luring you from your relative safety like a siren's call: "Oh Conundrum-chan, I'm waiting for you in the garden..."

>>2
You place all four available skillpoints into pyromancy, bringing your level to nine. You have unlocked the following skills:

• Flammability (Active skill): can make any object or creature under 100kg flammable, regardless of temperature or chemical composition. Effect lasts for sixty seconds. Costs 50 mana.
• Flame camouflage (Passive skill): if within or in front of a mass of flame larger than yourself, become difficult to distinguish from it by other creatures. Only affects sight.
• Arbitrarily sized fireball (Active skill): can summon and cast a fireball of any size. Requires one free hand. Costs the fireball's diameter in centimetres in mana.
• Flame sacrifice (Passive skill): sapient creatures killed by you via primary or secondary effects of fire yield 100 mana and two skill points. Ritual killings involving fire yield 150 mana and three skill points.

You use your arbitrarily sized fireball (Active skill) to summon a five centimetre diameter ball of flame, illuminating the room. You are shocked to see, at the other end of the room, Mecha Alexei and, hand in hand with him, that girl in pink you duelled to the death a while back. Her empty eye sockets glare piercingly at you, while Mecha Alexei looks quite bewildered and terrified.

>>3
In this case, you think "appropriate" probably means not spending all your mana on summoning a titan seven metre fireball, which would probably destroy the laboratory and kill everyone in or near it other than yourself - hilarious as that would be.

>>4
"The flesh of your mother sticks between my teeth!" you shout. That wasn't quite what you meant to say.

>>5
You are now playing as Masturbation Continue-chan. You want to save your true love, but you aren't sure who that is any more. Do you truly love Conundrum-chan? Even after she betrayed you and left you to die, twice now? You do feel something for her, but you need to ruminate upon your innermost feelings for a while yet.

>>6
Just for fun, you multiply together Euler's number, the speed of light, the Boltzmann constant, Wien's displacement constant and the Planck constant. You end up with 2.7182818 × 299792458 ms^-1 × 1.3806488×10⁻²³ JK^-1 × 2.8977721×10⁻³ mK × 6.62606957×10⁻³⁴ Js, which comes out as roughly 2.1535×10⁻⁵⁰ m²J².

>>7
You try to take the dot product of height (in terms of the vertical unit vector k, naturally) with the derivative position vector dr (apart from that you misplaced the r). Presumably you would evaluate that as an integral, but it seems silly really; you'd only get a non-zero answer for the dzk component anyway, so your answer would just be scalar height.

>>8
You don't know how to "ufyl". I mean really, what could that even mean?

>>9
You are now playing as Jack Conundrum-chan. You rush out of the laboratory to find and merge with your clone, only to find that she has already wandered off into the garden without you. Even now she is walking across the charred remains of the hedge maze towards Cassandra, who is sitting, again, in the gazebo, smugly sipping a cup of tea.

>>10
"Gsghj!" you exclaim.