>>632
"Aaaaaaaaargh!" replies Conundrum-chan. "Whaaaaaaaargh!" replies Alexei. "Brontosaurus!" replies Aaron.
>>633
You name your brave steed in memory of a famous twentieth century dictator, whilst acknowledging its relative lightheartedness and gaiety. You simultaneously bestow upon it a PhD in honour of its outstanding work in the field of being ridden by you - a rare privilege indeed.
>>634
Unfortunately, the only clothing nearby is already being worn. There isn't any suitable cloth from which you could fabricate a uniform either. Jacqueline's frilly pink dress seems perfect for the job, but she won't part with it willingly, and Alexei will probably complain as well. Alternatively, of course, you could just disembowel a few of these screaming mooks and dress Dr. Gay Hitler in their intestines.
You settle for a simpler option: you remove your own pantsu - which are pink, with a fetching seigaiha pattern printed on top - and place them over Dr. Gay Hitler's antenna. It's not much of a uniform, but it'll have to do.
>>635,636
The others have by this point begun to stop screaming. Conundrum-chan is wielding your geologist's hammer, Alexei his own white energy weapon, and Jacqueline your stone sickle. The three have backed into one corner, sheltering behind Stove Stove, weapons at the ready. Aaron is standing to one side with a bewildered half-smile on his face.
"Spaghetti... macaroni... mortadella... tortellini... mozzarella!" you chant, in what might be the strangest battle cry you've heard in a while. On "mozzarella", you dig your legs into Dr. Gay Hitler's sides and he charges forwards, monitor and all, towards that accursed stone cube. Just as they are about to meet, Stove Stove shakes violently and your steed vanishes entirely. You are left hovering in midair.
Aaron lunges forwards and embraces you tightly, telling you how glad he is that you're alive and how you'll always be his beloved daughter, and so on. The other three stare at you, weapons still at the ready. Finally, he releases you.
>>637
At that moment your dear trilobite, headwear and all, sticks his cephalon around the doorframe, hisses uncertainly, and retreats back again. Apparently he was simply teleported outside the room. Apparently he is also a coward, as he ignores your instructions to brutally murder everyone in the room (hopefully not including you) and instead splashes away to hide amongst the cloning pods.
You begin to run after him to punish him with some urinary castigation, but Conundrum-chan - whilst calling out "Oh no you don't!" - grabs you from behind, lifts you into the air, and busts your spine. You are in too much pain and shock to retaliate, but at least you don't pass out, so you don't have to wake up from it. Everyone else is quite awake and staring at you. You can't pee in any drawers like this.
Conundrum-chan sits on your chest, pinning you to the ground, leans over you and begins to lecture you sternly. "Right, listen up, because this is important. Since I put you in the simulation, about two or three days have passed, and in that time the sun never rose. The moon still seems to be rising and setting normally. Undead grunts have been continually crawling from the forest. They... they won't die. Until now I've just been throwing them into the river, and they get washed away, but they won't die, no matter what I do."
She takes a deep breath, regains her composure, then continues: "I tried using cloned grunts as meatshields, but every one that dies adds to their ranks, so I stopped. When I woke up this... most recently, I found that all the cloning pods were empty. I don't know how it happened; I was asleep in front of the console the whole time. After that you escaped, and then I woke up the other three" - she waves a hand in their direction - "So we can work out what to do next together." Rather than reply, you gaze longingly at the cool, refreshing water outside.
You note in passing that not once did she mention the loss of her eye.