We seem to have lost contact with the Control Tower [Grinding Noises][Part II] (869)

1 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7715 22:52

Previously:
http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1341413503/

For a moment you stand, perfectly still, in the half-light of the laboratory, listening to the slow, steady tapping of the two sets of footsteps as they draw ever closer. Somewhere in the building a clock strikes twelve, the deafening sound reverberating through everything around you. The footsteps stop. Without meaning to, you hold your breath.

>>/994
As it may well be your last opportunity, you lunge forwards, grab the computer monitor and tear it from the wall. The cable pulls taught and snaps at the base in a shower of sparks. The lights go out, plunging you into complete darkness. There is a startled yelp from the North, most likely from Mecha Alexei.

>>/995
Fearing Cassandra-chan may be planning to ambush you from the darkness, you strike out wildly in every direction. You accidentally bump into a workbench, knocking several pieces of glassware to the ground, where they shatter. "Who's there? Show yourself!" demands the voice from the North. Despite the assertive tone, their voice is clearly shaking.

>>/996
You bite into the darkness, but your teeth encounter no resistance. You try to metamorphosise into the darkness itself, but find that you require level 12 telekinesis, level 5 healing, level 5 thaumaturgy and 75 mana to shapeshift. You currently have level 10 telekinesis, level 6 healing, level 2 thaumaturgy and 720 mana. You also have four unspent skillpoints.

>>/997
You try to contract all your skeletal muscles at once. You don't really know anything about sweaty homos or how they grunt, but go ahead and make a fairly low, masculine snorting sound.

>>/998
You make a point of not starting any new threads - not that you'd be able to anyway in your present situation. As it so happens, one starts itself anyway, completely outside of your control.

>>/999
You attempt to summon the power of the >>1000GET, but find yourself a single permille off. How embarrassing!

That very second, the clock stops chiming and the ringing fades away into the impenetrable blackness all around you. You hear an all-too-familiar voice behind you, luring you from your relative safety like a siren's call: "Oh Conundrum-chan, I'm waiting for you in the garden..."

829 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8163 01:22

Ask the androgynous person what sex is.
Play as the androgynous person.

830 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8165 01:25

>>828
You and a few other cute girls form a loose granfalloon and, with some difficulty, persuade TiMothy to leave his perch on the shaded side of the building. He lazily makes a few stabs at your spinal fluids, but seems generally quite lethargic. Well, he's probably not diurnal, after all. A little aerokinesis eventually convinces him to relocate to the ground, let you board him, and reluctantly take flight again.

>>829
Before leaving earshot, you feel a slight prick at your conscience at leaving behind Stove Stove, the androgynous person and the remaining Jacks. Just to give them something to ruminate over in your absence, you ask them a controversial philosophical/linguistic conundrum. The androgynous person perks up and begins enthusiastically pontificating on the biological role of sex, the XY, X0 and ZW sex determination systems, sexual reproduction as it relates to genetic recombination, before changing tack and discussing the difficulties in defining sex and gender, and how the terms fit into the physical and psychological phenotypes of human sexual dimorphism. By the time they get on to sex in anglerfish, however, you are long since gone, fluttering away westwards.

You are now playing as the androgynous person.

You are standing in a clearing in front of a somewhat damaged building, next to a large brontosaurus corpse. The remains of your former mistress, Continue Masturbation, are smeared unceremoniously across the ground at your feet. Stove Stove is nearby, being stroked lovingly by one of the cloned girls under your protection. Lacking any particular instructions to follow, you are just about to settle down and calculate Mersenne primes for a few millennia, when you notice another human emerge from the building. It appears to be the one referred to as Jacqueline. How odd; you had thought she had teleported away.

831 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8165 04:46

Enthusiastically discuss science with Jacqueline.

832 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8165 05:16

Kill Jacqueline.

833 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8166 11:53

Eat Jacqueline.

834 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8169 16:55

Board Stove Stove

835 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8169 23:22

>>831
Completely ignoring the piece of paper she presents to you, you tell Jacqueline about the entire glorious spectrum of the natural sciences from first principles. You start with particle physics, moving on to nuclear physics, then quantum physics, valence bond theory, molecular orbital theory, physical chemistry, inorganic chemistry, organic chemistry, biochemistry, cell biology, physiology, genetics, evolution, ecology, neuroscience, computer science, electromagnetism, classical mechanics, fluid dynamics, thermodynamics, atmospheric physics, astronomy, cosmology, and relativity.

Though you intended it to be a discussion, your partner contributes little other than insistently waving some silly piece of paper in your face, so it turns out to be more of a lecture. Or set of lectures. When you get to a minor digression on quantum chaos, she apparently gives up and wanders away back indoors. You continue talking, raising your voice to make sure she doesn't miss anything. After almost an hour she returns, tries to distract you with more paper, gives up again, tries to show her paper to Stove Stove and nearby clones (without success), paces back and forth in a line, and finally curls up in a ball against one of the walls of the building, pressing her hands over her ears as hard as she can. Well, you hope she enjoyed the discussion as much as you did!

>>832
Your preliminary diagnostic procedure indicates that she is already dead. That is to say, when you tackle her to the ground and begin throttling her with all your might, you cannot feel any pulse and note that she does not seem to be choking or having any problems with not breathing. Reflecting that your murder was complete before it even started, you bathe in the warm glow of a job well done.

>>833
You begin gently gnawing on Jacqueline's hair. Unfortunately, you lack any pharynx, oesophagus, stomach or digestive system in general, so you are forced to stop when your mouth is full. You admit that you aren't particularly good at recognising human emotions, but you notice that she does seem somewhat distressed about something.

>>834
Spitting out your mouthful of hair and leaving the rest of Jacqueline as a snack for later, you flick the concealed switch on Stove Stove's underside and climb inside. The inner walls conform to fit your shape, and an automated voice recognises you as the pilot. A visual display appears, overlaying a view outside, reading:

COMPUTERISED SYSTEMS ONLINE
MECHANICAL SYSTEMS ONLINE
LIFE SUPPORT SYSTEMS ONLINE
WEAPONS SYSTEMS ONLINE
INITIALISATION COMPLETE: MOBILE SUIT 002 ("STOVE STOVE") ONLINE

Stove Stove stands tall; a monolithic, gleaming obsidian humanoid, bristling with advanced weaponry, with all power at your fingertips. Jacqueline and the nearby clones look up at you with expressions of silent appreciation. Or possibly abject terror, you aren't quite sure.

836 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8279 17:06

Make Stove Stove disco dance, then destroy everything and everyone in sight.

837 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8281 02:21

Set course for the Palriga Canal!

838 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8384 02:47

Confrim Ao Oni's Facebook friend request.
http://i.imgur.com/sqHmSxG.png

839 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8563 00:51

>>835
SHIIIINING FIIIIIIIIINGER

840 This post sucked.

841 This post sucked.

842 Name: (（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）) : 1993-09-10356 13:03

>>835
Find out if the computerized systems are only running free open-source software that respects the freedoms of its users.

P.S. Relatively speaking, this thread is a beefer at "1046 kb".

843 Name: Yvette Soriano : 1993-09-10597 03:27

Where are you located?

844 Name: ( ﾟ ヮﾟ) : 1993-09-10597 19:37

>>843 Right now we're inside Stove Stove, in a clearing in front of a somewhat damaged building, next to a large brontosaurus corpse.

845 This post sucked.

846 This post sucked.

847 This post sucked.

848 This post sucked.

849 This post sucked.

850 Name: (　･ิω･ิ) : 1993-09-11025 20:15

Post a post that doesn't suck.

851 Name: (　･ิω･ิ) : 1993-09-11025 21:29

a post that doesn't suck.

852 This post sucked.

853 This post sucked.

854 This post sucked.

855 Name: (　･ิω･ิ) : 1993-09-11081 16:33

A suck that doesn't post

856 This post sucked.

857 This post sucked.

858 Name: (（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）) : 1993-09-11335 18:19

Inspect the brontosaurus corpse for anything useful!

859 Name: (（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）) : 1993-09-11336 00:37

(・∀・) Uhhh grandpa why is our plane heading into that tower?

860 This post sucked.

861 Name: (（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）) : 1993-09-11376 16:39

Cast "Dominate Your Competitio"

862 This post sucked.

863 This post sucked.

864 This post sucked.

865 This post sucked.

866 Name: (（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）) : 1993-09-11504 17:43

Investigate why this particular thread has so many posts that sucked.

867 Name: (（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）) : 1993-09-11506 02:59

>>866
Establish a committee on establishing a committee tasked with investigating why so many posts sucked and hiring a team of investigators to find out why.

868 Name: (（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）) : 1993-09-11529 14:30

>>867
First we must establish a provisional committee to create a cost estimation of an investigation into the post suckage and create a bid proposal for independent sucky post investigation contractors.

869 Name: Nigel Stapleton : 1993-09-11536 05:56

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