[Misinformative] ITT: We post false historical origins of random things [Lies] [Bogus] (22)

1 Name: (ijĪij) : 1993-09-10054 19:55

The Italian word for bean, fagiolo, is derived from the name of a North African trader who had a near monopoly on the bean trade in the region and was responsible for supplying the Italian peninsula with the vast majority of its beans. The trader's name, Faizullah, became synonymous with his goods and over time corrupted to the standard Italian fagiolo. This is especially evident in more southern Italian dialects such as Neapolitan, Sicilian, and Sardinian where the original word for bean is still somewhat preserved as "fasulo."

2 Name: this is an actual theory, but it is contested : 1993-09-10054 21:29

The Latin slang term for penis, roughly equivalent to dick, mentula, is derived from mens/mentis, mind, with a diminutive suffix -ulus -a -um (c.f. calx stone, calculus pebble), roughly meaning "little mind". This is presumably because the Romans thought with their dicks.

3 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10054 23:57

Jewish baby boys get circumcised, that's where they cut off the foreskin and say goodbye to it forever - that's why they say "schlong"

4 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10055 23:45

The word "gook" comes from the name of a French missionary Guy LeGuc who converted a lot of people to Christianity during the French colonial period. This caused a lot of riots and strife. It's akin to "uncle tom" but ruder.

5 Name: (ijĪij) : 1993-09-10056 07:14

The trope of "throwing tomatoes" to signify dissatisfaction with a production or performance has an interesting history. In contrast to what we're used to, it actually grew out of the audience showing approval after a good performance. This tradition developed during the early days of the poor traveling European entertainers of commedia dell'art. The audience, who happened to be composed of commoners generally of a farming or artisan stock, would offer some of their surplus product to the performers after a satisfactory performance as a show of gratitude. You could think of it in the same regard as the "tip" of today. According to some sources, being awarded cruciferous vegetables was seen as the highest honor. One key thing to note: during the era of commedia dell'art and other forms of early entertainment, there wasn't a significant separation between audience and performer. The performers would be handed the "tip" directly after a successful show by the delighted audience members. As theater advanced and the stage format advanced, an ever increasing physical and metaphorical separation between performer and audience developed. With the increase in distance between audience and performer, the vegetables came to be thrown onto the stage. After one particular event where a performer was injured by a vegetable (speculated to be some sort of gourd based on the season, region, and efficacy as a harmful projectile), the audience was discouraged from "tipping" in this manner soon after. Throwing flowers on the stage was another trope that resulted from this development, as it was seen to be a safe and acceptable--though purely symbolic--alternative to vegetables and baked goods. Rules were put in place barring the performers from taking home any of the vegetables to further discourage the audience throwing foodstuffs on stage, leading to crates of food being disposed of outside the theater. Antagonistic audience members, feeling snubbed by the actors not accepting their offering, would take handfuls of the rotting produce from the previous performance and throw it at the performers. It is unknown whether the audience members knew of the rules disallowing the acceptance of these vegetables or not. Very soon after, the throwing of vegetables became associated with dissatisfaction rather than satisfaction.

6 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10816 01:41

Contrary to popular belief, the term "table salt" doesn't come from salt that you keep at the table. It originates from a colonial Virginian phrase that came about due to the unusual composition of local trees. Trees in a small arbor in northern Virginia had unusually high salt content. This was attested to in several found journal entries by colonists living in the region. The content of salt was so high that it could be tasted by licking furniture. "Table salt" itself came from a phrase used as a response to a statement about food being bland, "use some of the table's salt."

7 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10888 01:42

Petroleum jelly was first used by in the Korean War to burn down Northern villages and starve the communists into submission. However, flight crews, who had to handle the jelly by hand, found itfs softening qualities a better sexual lubricant than engine oil which was standard at the time and napalm which was to viscous and sticky. Returning veterans brought the jelly with them and this deadly weapon spread from American red light districts into suburban homes.

8 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10917 21:32

The term "cardboard" isn't actually from a combination of "card" and "board." It came from "corrugated board" which was then shortened to "corgboard" which was corrupted to "cordboard" and finally "cardboard."

9 Name: ( LwM) : 1993-09-10972 19:32

Applebee's is named after real life Apple Bees, which are a genus of bees that primarily pollinate apple trees.

10 Name: ( LwM) : 1993-09-10972 19:38

You've probably heard the statistic that the average person eats three spiders a year in their sleep. Don't worry, you've probably shit out at least ten times as many spiders as you've eaten over the course of your life.

11 Name: ( LwM) : 1993-09-10972 19:48

The laws of physics predict that if a flame reaches a certain temperature, it makes its surroundings colder instead of hotter. However, scientists have not yet been able to prove this because there is no way to create a temperature that high. An underground particle physics laboratory near an active volcano has been able to get tantalizingly close.

12 Name: ( LwM) : 1993-09-10972 19:50

wait, shit, those last two facts weren't historical at all. Fucking sleep deprivation.

13 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10973 06:46

"Suicide sauce" is a popular condiment, traditionally consisting of equal parts soy sauce, Worcestershire (or fish, see footnote) sauce, and balsamic vinegar.

14 Name: ( LwM) : 1993-09-10977 17:40

"Sage" in textboards is called that because not drawing any attention to a shitty thread is always sage wisdom

15 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10978 01:38

The popular Reddit related extremist terminology gbasedh is derived from the free operating system ProprietaryBSD (pronounced Ba-Se-D), notorious for itfs difficulty and general impracticality. ProprietaryBSD is in fact a derivative of Berkeley Unix but due to copyright and the 1983 boardroom massacre, it was rebranded as the Berkeley Sanity Disturbance due to itfs tendency to drive n00bs and l33t hackers alike insane with its tedious design.

The snobby elitists as they are, Reddit dwellers pride themselves on skills which put them above mere mortals. Including the ability to use ProprietaryBSD, despite the fact itfs been shipped with every Apple computer since 2001. Hence, whenever a Redditor does something to showcase hefs better than the untermenschen itfs customary to reply with gwoah thatfs so BSD.h Eventually this was shortened to gbasedh because according to Reddit acronyms are for low IQ simpletons.

16 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10991 20:01

Bacon originates as an anglicization for the French province of Bacógne, which was known for it's salted, cured pork belly.

17 Name: ( ・ิω・ิ) : 1993-09-11017 03:30

The common Jewish name Weissman comes from gweissh which in English is gvice.h An act that is immoral, corrupting or sinful, usually associated with sexual immorality. Since many Jews were employed as pimps and pornographers in Württembergfs sex trade, they gained the nickname Weissman or gman of vice.h Once a badge of pride, the men of vice passed it down as a common name to their descendants. However, Israeli revisionist historians falsely claim gviceh actually meant gstrong griph not pimp and their ancestors were merely arm wrestling champions.

18 Name: ( ・ิω・ิ) : 1993-09-11020 03:21

The forum Stormfront was actually founded by weathermen, storm chasers and tornado watchers and was supposed to be a site for meteorologists.

19 Name: ( ・ิω・ิ) : 1993-09-11026 00:37

Hal Turner wrote the Turner Diaries. In the book, chanfags, especially /b/tards, are included with the Jews, blacks, Muslims and other undesirables that are purged on gthe day of the rope.h Some say /pol/ is just Anonymous trying to fuck with Halfs brain again but it all went too far.

20 Name: ( ・ิω・ิ) : 1993-09-11032 02:56

UNIX is actually supposed to be pronounced "eunuch" and was meant as a jab at the Multics operating system i.e. UNIX is castrated Multics.

21 Name: ( ・ิω・ิ) : 1993-09-11036 11:28

The American slang "yo" is derived from the Japanese which was brought back to the ghetto by Boogaloo Shrimp after his visit to Japan.

22 Name: not my own, but very funny : 1993-09-11038 11:22

HISTORICAL FACT:

THE NORTH AMERICAN CONTINENT WAS ONCE POPULATED BY SPIRITUAL BUT NOT RELIGIOUS SIX FOOT TALL WOOD ELF INJUNS WHO WERE HONORABLE NOBLE IN TUNE WITH NATURE AND AS PLAINLY STATED IN EYEWITNESS ACCOUNTS -- INCREDIBLY SAVAGE VIOLENT AND BLOODTHIRSTY
WHEN THEY WERE NOT TALKING TO TREES AND USING EVERY PART OF THE BUFFALO, THEY WERE ENGAGED IN GENOCIDAL TOTAL WAR, MURDER AND TORTURE OF MEMBERS OF NEIGHBORING TRIBES
THIS CULTURE OF TOTAL ETHNIC WAR WAS GRACIOUSLY EXTENDED TO THE SMALL OUTPOST OF EUROPEAN COLONISTS
BY ENGAGING WITH THE COLONISTS THE SAME WAY THEY ENGAGED WITH THEIR TRIBAL NEIGHBORS, THE WOOD ELVES ACKNOWLEDGED THE WHITE COLONISTS AS NATIVES OF AMERICA

AMERICA WAS THEN FOUNDED BY MEANS OF AN APOCALYPTIC UNPRECEDENTED AND EPIC WAR, A WAR AT THE SCALE OF A CONTINENT AND AT THE SCOPE OF RACE WHERE TONS OF TRIBES AND ETHNICITIES OF EITHER RACE WOULD COME TOGETHER TO BATTLE THE OTHER IN AN EXISTENTIAL FIGHT FOR SURVIVAL, PROMPTED BY THE WHITE COLONISTS,
ALTHOUGH INITIALLY HESITANT BENEVOLENT AND PASSIVE,
EVENTUALLY, THROUGH SUFFERING REPEATED GENOCIDAL ATROCITY AT THE HAND OF THE WOOD ELVES, GOING NATIVE AND ACCEPTING THE TOTAL ETHNIC WAR CULTURE
THE RED MEN WERE DRIVEN TO EXTINCTION AS WAS THEIR WISH AND THEIR NATIVE WAY, MOSTLY THROUGH CONQUEST OF ARMS, BUT TO SOME EXTENT THROUGH INTERBREEDING

AS THE AMERICAN EMPIRE GREW, OFFICIALLY ABSORBING BRITAIN'S HOLDINGS ON THE CONTINENT AS A PROVINCIAL RUMP STATE IN 1867 AND EXTENDING ITS TENTACLES INTO THE PACIFIC AND MONROE DOCTRINE LANDS, THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OF THE UNITED STATES AND CANADA CONCOCTED A LAND SPECULATION SCHEME
THE HORRID MACHINE CONSPIRED TO TAKE A CHUNK OUT OF LOCAL MUNICIPALITIES AND UNINCORPORATED UNSETTLED LAND USING THE FIRST "BUREAU OF LAND MANAGEMENT DISCOVERS AN ENDANGERED SPECIES HABITAT" TYPE OF SCHEME IN RECORDED HISTORY
THE LAND WOULD BE SET ASIDE FOR "NATIVE AMERICAN RESERVATIONS"
THE "NATIVE AMERICANS" WOULD BE IMPORTED FROM THE REMOTE JUNGLES OF THE BANANA REPUBLICS COLONIZED BY THE UNITED FRUIT COMPANY (CHIQUITA BANANA TODAY)
NOT ONLY WAS IT A CLEVER LAND SPECULATION SCHEME, IT ALSO AFFORDED THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT -- POSITIONED FROM ITS CREATION AS A COLONIAL OVERSEER OF ITS COLONIZED WHITE SUBJECTS, -- THE POLITICAL RHETORIC TO DISENFRANCHISE AND DEMORALIZE THAT NATIVE WHITE POPULATION AND DEFUSE ALL NATIVIST RHETORIC

THE COUNTERFEIT "NATIVES" LOOKED ABOUT AS YOU'D EXPECT ANY GUATEMALAN TO LOOK LIKE
SHORT AND SQUAT AND SWARTHY, PRONE TO ANIMAL ABUSE ALMOST AS MUCH AS THEY WERE TO SUBSTANCE ABUSE
THE LAST HEYDAY OF THESE "NEW NATIVES" CAME DURING THE ANTI-WHITE RIGHTS MOVEMENT OF THE 1960S
AFTER WHICH THEIR NUMBERS AND IMPORTANCE DWINDLED AS THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT FOUND IT MORE CONVENIENT TO CONDUCT THE ETHNIC CLEANSING OF THEIR COLONIAL SUBJECTS -- THE REAL NATIVES OF THE LAND, THE WHITE AMERICANS -- BY MEANS OF IMPORTING THE SAME GUATEMALANS ACROSS THE SOUTHERN BORDER
THEY EXIST TODAY NOT SO MUCH IN A PHYSICAL FORM BUT AS A SPECTER OF RHETORICAL VENOM EMPLOYED TO MOVE PIPELINES AROUND
THE RESERVATIONS ARE THE PRIVATE FIEFS OF LOCAL POLITICIANS AND INFLUENTIALS BUT ARE MOSTLY NEGLECTED AS THAT SOCIALITE ELITE HAD MOVED TO A MORE URBAN BASE AND HAVE LITTLE USE FOR UNCULTIVATED LAND ANYMORE

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