I can't help acting lame in front of my colleagues. They just look at me and think I'm a total fucking creepy retard. I try being friendly but just come off as cringe. Let's face it, I'll never make friends. Been friendless for nearly 30 years, it's pretty much over for me at this point. I'm too far behind to catch up with other people socially. Whatever, it's not like work is a good place to socialize anyway, you can never just be yourself or say anything truthful to people whatsoever. It's all just fakery. Hopefully, I will be able to adopt a child (preferably a daughter) and the authorities won't say I'm unfit or discrimminate against me for being a loner.