Please post information on yourself.
Location (also, details like whether it's a city or suburb, ghetto of rich part of the city, rural area or factory town, etc)
Ethnic background and/or Race
Age
Sex or Gender
I'm originally posting this to see how many black hikkis are here, but It's useful a a general survey. I miss anonib's board
Location: Southern Arizona. Close to the border. In the middle of a peaceful, arid city with gangsters to the south and rich folks to the north.
Ethnicity: Korean/Filipino
Age: 20
Sex: Male
Location: Southern England. Close to the sea. Scarey blokes out here at night.
Ethnicity: Korean/Kenyan
Age: 19
Sex: Male
Location: Rural Northwest United States. Everyone around my town is pretty decent. Very little crime, sans a bit of drugs and the occasional grandpa that loves his grandchildren TOO much.
Ethnicity: Russian/German
Age: 20
Sex: Male
>1
OP here I'm doing mine.
Location: Chicago, IL, USA. In the city proper, South Side, in a rich neighborhood technically but I actually live between the ghetto 2 blocks to the east and million-dollar homes on the hill 2 blocks west of me. I can take public transport to the city core, depending on if i use the commuter rail station a block from me (more expensive) or the city bus/train (cheaper but more dangerous, not by much), 20 minutes to 40 mins.
Ethnic Background: African American/Black. With some irish ancestry (last name is from a great-grandfather) and substantial native ancestry (the two people my family claim descent, one of them was substantially native)
Age: 20
Sex:: Male
I also miss the AnonIB board, shame the site is gone. If you are after a similar site, try http://tohno-chan.com/so - It's along the same lines.
Location: Canada, low income area. Crime, drugs but nothing crazy like murders, just petty stuff done out of poverty. You would never see it anyway.
Ethnic background: Irish
Age: 24
Sex: Male
Location: Chile, in a small town. It's like a mix between city and countryside; pretty chill. Not a lot of places to have fun but I don't need them anway.
Ethnic Background: French/Hispanic
Age: 20
Sex: Male
Location: St. Louis, MO United States. I live in a suburbs that lie about 30 minutes south of the city. Mainly anglo, with a dab of asian every once in a while. Maybe one or two black people somewhere out here. Very safe. In my specific town, the crime-level can be considered capped at the point of teens stealing for the thrill of it.
Ethnicity: Mainly Irish, but about 1/4 German; perhaps a tiny bit of French in there.
Age: 18
Sex: Male
Location: NW Oregon, in a small rural town
Ethnic background: Norwegian
Age: 16
Sex or Gender: Male
Location: USA South Florida, a somewhat small quiet place that sometimes gets filled with spanish music when a party is thrown. It's not that bad. I'd know more if I actually went outside, but I don't want to.
Ethnic background:Hispanic
Age:19
Sex:Male
I you want to beat social anxiety there's no escaping social exposure. Your brain is wired to understand verbal and non-verbal communication with other beings so it's just a matter of re-practicing your skills. You are so afraid of failing when you are already at your lowest, trying to change would be nothing more than a lesson, eliminating the possibilities of erring at a social level. You've become complacent with your lifestyle, you've replaced your social experiences with those of your liking, selectively choosing your interests without noticing that you are digging a deeper hole. Irrational thoughts take rational measures to be overcome, this means putting up with your fears while still doing something about it and reading any further on your disorder isn't going to help anymore. Computers are tools and will never be able to replace the physical factor involved in bonding with others. If you are actively trying to change you need to accept the fact that you are the one controlling every aspect of your existence, the force that commands you to feed yourself, to not commit suicide, to stay at home all day, to convince yourself that you are happy because your fear has overpowered you, it's always been you. Who are you trying to save face for when you have little to no dignity left? Those who try are seen as fighters and they are respected by those who have fought their own battles.
You look outside your window, you take a step outside and you think, the world is so vast that it is overwhelming, you don't know what to do with your life. You know you are capable of getting out of your situation but how often do you sit down and write down solutions or develop plans? You are afraid of your future, the unknown, the thing is everyone is in a way afraid of the unknown to some extent but the fear tends to go away when we set goals, goals keep us busy and when we achieve them they bring a sense of victory and pride. How much longer will you keep avoiding? Are you waiting for your parents to die?
Be yourself: voice your opinion, always, do what you want, always, and be respectful to those who deserve respect. This is what being yourself means, being in total control of your actions. Can you say you are in total control right now? I would say that you are but you are depriving yourself of the 75% of your capacity to enjoy your personal freedom because you want to meet someone else's expectations, perhaps your parents' or your unreal ideals. Even if your ideals are unreal, they still are achievable but are you working on those? I bet things didn't go as expected for you. You expected to have a stable family and you possible didn't get one, you expected not to get bullied and you got bullied, you expected to get into college, and you didn't. And what did you do to deal with all this? You probably tried a little bit but at the lightest form of exertion you decided you couldn't do it, maybe because you didn't have it in you as opposed to your sibling or your classmates, maybe because your parents didn't motivate you enough, or maybe because you are a spoiled brat who's been used to have everything their way. Regardless of the excuses it's never too late to develop that personal strength. You go outside and think there's nothing for you when the next door kid goes outside for a walk, sees an ad that interests him and takes the job.
cont.
You think I don't get it but I was in your same situation, basic needs covered, helped a bit with cleaning, and talked politely to my parents even if they were a pain in the ass to deal with, and lying to them about getting better and going to school/getting a job, all of this so I could continue with my depressing lifestyle. You aren't fooling anyone, your parents know, the people who have seen you know, they look at you with pity and without knowing how to help you out simply because you've been scraping by with the minimum and some out of the ordinary interests that they can't even comprehend.
If you want to fix yourself you really need to convince yourself that you are in complete control of your life, you don't need books, you don't need to buy stuff, all you need to do is observe your actions carefully and understand that everything that happens to you is because of your own will.
>"Oh cool, another essay, it's nothing that I haven't read before although it did have some interesting points. I might go out tomorrow. -tomorrow- Meh, I don't think going out will help, I still don't know what to do."
Circular thinking won't get you out of your rut, you need to make drastic changes if you want to see any positive effects. Throw yourself out there, talk to people and don't be afraid of blushing or stuttering, the worst that can happen is that people will look at you in a weird way our laugh at you but it's all up to you how to process the thoughts that emanate from their reaction, you can control these thoughts or let them fuck you over. Be honest to yourself and to others and don't be afraid of failure, the world is vast, teeming with similar people like you and opportunities.
ALL MALES?
lulz
>>15
If you can't establish relationships, make friends, get a gf/bf, and you still claim that you don't anyone when you actually NEED physical socialization while you spend a great deal of your time talking to people online, then you have a problem. You either are narcissistic, agoraphobic, socially anxious, socially avoidant, a psychopath, schizo, autistic, or just have very low self-confidence or trust issues with people.
Strong introversion=low self-confidence/self-defeatism/no social skills, happy being alone=no coping mechanisms for dealing with people
I went to one anime convention. Next thing I know I've got a job and a social life. Fucking hell man.
If you try to get the approval of everyone else, you are just asking for misery and frustration in life. Don't sacrifice yourself to other people's opinions, this will lead to depression and inability to handle rejection. The only people you want to get their approval of is the people you want to influence or persuade to your own way of thinking as long as it is good for both you and them.
You have to be independent in all relationships; if you cannot be understood by someone then they will most likely stifle your growth. You can't let people get in the way of your growth; when people who are not part of your goals (demanding "friends", acquaintances, co-workers, strangers) become emotionally attached to you and you don't have the time for them, you need to learn to say no and not let it bother you, hopefully they will understand.
Establish short-term and long-term goals.Have a list of six goals you want to accomplish for every single day. If you can't complete all of them, add the remaining to tomorrow's list starting off the next day with the one you left off on the previous day. Having daily goals will remind you that you have something to look forward for that day. Cross them out as you go. Prioritize them in order of importance, the ones that you dislike the most should go first to get them out of the way, otherwise you will procrastinate.
Establish goals for one month, three months, three years, and twenty years and always reward yourself. Some goals don't show evident results but add up to your growth for accomplishing greater goals, school courses,learning and exercise come to mind. It's always easier to establish long term goals because you have quite a long time to fulfill them.
Procrastination can only be defeated by taking responsibility and doing things when you least desire it, this is how discipline is created. Progress requires pain and pain is forgotten once you achieve your goals for the rewards overshadow pain.
Experts are ALWAYS made, not born. Anyone who boasts about not putting effort into learning something they have become very good at is lying or was conditioned by their parents to do out of routine. http://hbr.org/2007/07/the-making-of-an-expert/ar/1
Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.-Calvin Coolidge
Fairness cannot exist in every situation therefore you need to gain control of your life. Don't ruin your life on the basis on someone else. It's not the problem that's the problem, it's the way you handle the problem that's the problem.
We've been conditioned to think that we are tired after coming from work or school even if we are not. Do not use fatigue or illness as an excuse to get moving.
Fear and worry are caused by indecision. Keep your mind in the present time, worries from the past are always brought to the present and future, instead of worrying WORK!
Successful people don't need to look a particular way in order to achieve success, it's all a matter of self-image, self-perception. You cannot live up to other people's image of yourself, otherwise they'll be in control of who you are. You can't be yourself around everyone else and otherwise you would be disliked by a lot of people, wear masks around those who are difficult.
The people who mind don't matter, and the people who matter don't mind. It's all about balance people.
>>19
I've always been a hikikomori for the sole reason that I wanted every second of personal, subjective time all to myself. Six to seven hours practically zapped away a couple days of the week is rather traumatising in this respect. However, this only fuels my drive to learn and create more than I ever have.
The thins is that you are looking at this the wrong way. Every single second of your time, every single thing you do, it is all for you regardless of how you spend time with. What it sounds like to me is that you have trouble prioritizing tasks, making decisions, and you let your feelings dictate what needs to be done at any given time instead of using reason and creating structure in your life. If that's what makes you happy, by all means, continue doing it but you need to be aware that planning to kill yourself when you reach a certain age because you never wanted to add structure to your life and therefore you didn't have any retirement funds is a pretty damned unhealthy way of thinking.
It's a clear indicator that you chose to avoid responsibility all your life because you were too apathetic to initiate change. This seems to be the common trend among depressed hikis, if it does not apply to you disregard it, but if it isn't suicide what will save you from feeling like shit you'll most likely spend your time trapped inside your parent's paid for home or a government facility.
Stop being so narrow-minded, you don't have to work in a cubicle 8 hours a day to lead a stable life. Find your niche and work really hard at it so you can either become self-employed or work with similar minded people. Like I said before, persistence is key. You can fail five times, ten times, fifty times, but by the second or third failure you'll overcome the feelings of fear because doing what we most fear really helps us assimilate those thoughts in a way that we can produce coping strategies.
If you can change your self-perception you can change your habits and do things you thought you couldn't do before. Remember, it is a world created by humans, there's not much fairness in the world, but our problems have human solutions. So fuck it, you can either be like the rest of the people who settle for the minimum or even less, or you can be one of those guys who seem to be hated by everyone else because they need to be led. Regardless of who you are you'll always be disliked by a lot of people because there's someone out there that will always envy our personal characteristics. It's impossible to be liked by everyone so stick with your kind.
What I think a hiki's definition of success is? Financial independence and all the time for themselves. This is pretty much what the rest of the world wants LOL, but your views are warped because you probably expect life to bring change without putting any effort, it's not only hikis, it's people in general who have had it so bad that they think they should be rewarded. Life. Is. Not. Fair. You need to work toward your goals, there's no other way around.
>Male
>United States
>White
>20
>Straight
I'm the boring demograph of them all.
Whats the point with having a gender bit to this? Is OP really expecting women?
The comedian who is the most famous in Japan
・・・・・・・・・・・・・died.
http://p.tl/C8_w
Location: Northwestern part of Minnesota, USA.
Ethnic background and/or Race: German/Norwegian
Age: 17
Sex or Gender: Male
Figured I'd post in this thread considering it hasn't been bumped in like 2 years.
Location: Rural Northern Ireland
Ethnic background: Irish
Age: 17
Sex: Male
Location: New Zealand
Ethnic background: part maori, mostly european
Age: 18
Sex: Male
PPOOOOII EEE
California, white, 20, female
Location: Germany
Ethnic background: Polish
Age: 15
Sex: Male
Location: Midwest USA, suburb of a smallish city
Ethnic background: Scottish/German
Age: 28
Sex: Female
Southern Canada, nothing interesting here. I want to live in a place far away from here.
Ukranian
20
M
Location: Sweden
Ethnic background: Croatian
Age: 19
Sex: Male
Western USA
Lithuanian Jew
20
Female
North Western Usa
Melting Pot Irish Scottish Mutt
28
Male
Location: Iowa, at the edge of a residential area next to the downtown area
Ethnic background: mother's side is British, father's side is German
Age: 16
Male
Location: United States of America
Ethic background: Native America/European Caucasian
Age: 17
Gender: Male
Location: Canada, east coast city
Ethic background: European Caucasian
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Utah, in a small city near the salt lake. Several miles away from where I live is a train that I can take to provo, ogden, salt lake city, etc.
Ethnic background: Mostly English, with a mix of swedish and danish.
Age: 19
Male
Midwestern usa
German french and irish ancestry as far as im aware
22 yrs of age. male. former internet addict.
no
Location: France
Ethnic background: 75% french 25% italian
Age: 22
Sex: Penis
Location: Earth
Ethnic background: human
Age: not telling
Sex: yes pls
Location: Northern US, suburban area. We're middle class but I feel like I'm surrounded by rich snobs
Ethnic background: White, pops is mainly Irish, Mom is mainly Italian
Age: 16
Sex: Male
Location: Suburb in NW Oregon.
Ethnic background: Mostly German, Danish, and Irish, with some other European ancestries thrown in.
Age: 23
Sex: Male
Location: Illinois. Shitty rural town
White
19
Male