>I thought the rule was always that you had to be a healthy and complete person before you were allowed [...]

You thought wrong: no one is every healthy and complete, even with love. The requirement is maybe to not be broken as fuck as to not suck the other into a black hole of madness, but no one asks you to be perfectly adamantine.

And for the parallel with anorexia, that guy was somewhat on point: of course it is about love and not survival, but there are ways to circumvent it. Then again, maybe you're thinking that we imply that by changing your ways, anyone you set your heart on will suddenly fall madly in love with you. That's not the case; love comes in many forms, and maybe one of the solutions is to learn to accept these different forms. Even without a paddle you can swim, if you see what I mean (and no, I don't mean you should turn to scat).