Singles Rant Thread, 3rd Edition (196)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-04-29 16:54 ID:pNdjKvFC This thread was merged from the former /love/ board. You can view the archive here.

I might be presented to two delightful new girls this weekend, which is something I kinda badly need these times after my previous critical failure.

Sadly, they're both exes of friends of mine, so... you all know what that means. Off-limits. Meh.

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-04-29 17:08 ID:x3XciiMN

in about 15 minutes I'm going on third date with one great girl... wish me luck, I hope it'll work out

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-04-29 17:58 ID:pNdjKvFC

Good luck!

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-04-29 20:11 ID:YYkt4Im6

the guy ive tried to hook myself up with has been very rejective lately..................

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-04-29 21:04 ID:c0JU5Jqg

Is this really the 3rd edition?

I need to get out more...

6 Name: Otakun : 2009-04-30 07:03 ID:nIMXnxvs

>>1 It could still work as long as your friends are cool with it.
>>2 details? Oh well, have fun!
>>4 Atleast you're trying, better than watching the OP and ED of K-ON! over and over again like me lol
>>5 You and me both lol, but that swine flu is making me scared to.

I've been way too preoccpuied with life that I find there really isn't much time for girls or dating =\
I'm not even home right now lol, I'm off on a learning trip ^_^

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-04-30 10:04 ID:pNdjKvFC

Yeah, I know, but from neutral third-party experience, ex-dating doesn't mix well with staying good friends. Thing is, I dunno how serious they were, guess I'll have to find out. Well, nothing's done for now anyway.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-04-30 13:37 ID:1m1OXPYM

details? well... I managed to get my arm around her for a while, that's as far as I could get lol...

hell, what's the worst thing about never having a girlfriend? whatever I do, I'm doing it just blindly, not knowing if it's right or wrong... am I too fast? am I too slow? do I have a chance? I can't see any of those things, it's like trying to infiltrate an enemy base with your eyes closed

9 Name: 4 here : 2009-04-30 16:40 ID:XdnJRVxE

lmao.. well well .. i cba trying this month, i'll try again next month!;)

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-04-30 22:53 ID:pNdjKvFC

>it's like trying to infiltrate an enemy base with your eyes closed

And in this case the enemy base is filled with maniacs armed with hatchets and sentry guns firing at random directions.

But this is a good metaphor, yes, to most relationships that can be had with a woman.

11 Name: Otakun : 2009-05-01 09:49 ID:nIMXnxvs

As long as your spirit is indestructable as wolverine you'll be fine. Get yourself some experience points!

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-05-05 04:15 ID:pNdjKvFC

Some people think they're funny doing it wrong, so I'll bump the current thread.

Dammit, people. You're messing with the statistics.

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-05-05 11:55 ID:dasuHkLv

obligatory bump

14 Name: rando : 2009-05-05 21:07 ID:hyZ7Hn2G

im moving in less than a month, and NOW 3 girls want a relationship, but arnt intrested in sexual stuff.
...why god?

15 Name: Otakun : 2009-05-07 04:26 ID:ZHaP8A5v

The world has a funny way of working like that. Hopefully I get a relationship sooner or later, or improve one of mine. Thing have been keeping me too busy to even think about one. All I can really do is improve myself until the day that it does happen

16 Name: sora : 2009-05-08 03:46 ID:BqBxljDD

damn it! i missed the 1000th yet again! argghh! i'll die a single loser!

17 Name: sora : 2009-05-08 03:52 ID:BqBxljDD

all chicks that dig me are damn too ugly, why can't i have those fine, luscious ones? maybe i have to move out of town and find another?

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-05-08 11:59 ID:uZLjAvRc

all right, I decided... the next time I'll go out with that girl, I'm going to grab her and kiss her out of blank and I don't care that we'll be far from each other for 2 months, I know that I have feelings for her and it's time to change being single

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-05-08 16:34 ID:xaFmLSXY

Maybe you are damn too ugly for any of those fine, luscious chick?

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-05-10 06:18 ID:NxlsdQk4

I met this one girl while we were both volunteering for...something or other at our school. We were talking and we we hit it off, afterwards spending an hour or two at a nearby coffee shop conversing and generally becoming acquainted with each other. I had gotten her phone number, but I hadn't seen her around school. That is, until the next week, when I saw her hand-in-hand with someone I had never met.

That...irritates me.

21 Name: sora : 2009-05-12 04:28 ID:BqBxljDD

that is a point to consider hahaha

22 Name: sora : 2009-05-12 04:30 ID:BqBxljDD

shit happens, besides you don't own her. she has a life before she even met you so nothing we could do about that.. move on. bitter reality indeed.

23 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-05-12 18:17 ID:ux7pDWSA

I have just noticed that I am literally the same spot I was in a year go. Same, physical spot. It is a funny feeling to look to where I was then and where I am now. One year ago, I just broken up with my girlfriend and I miserable. I felt cheated because I have given my heart and soul to this girl to only have her toss it away as it was nothing. I felt alone because I had no one to talk to. Work and summer classes left my days booked and my nights were short so I could get sleep. My thoughts and feelings were the only things that kept me company. I was angry because friends who should have sided with me sided with her because she was “victim,” though she was the one who stabbed me. I felt sadness because a person I cared for is now out of my life and I will never have her again. I felt hopeless because I could not imagine a better life without her. And I was impatient because I knew time would heal my wounds, but I wanted them healed then and there. I remember clearly, I was cursing fate.

Two weeks from now is the anniversary of meeting my current girlfriend. One year ago I could not imagine meeting a person as great as her. One year ago I felt that everyone in the world is fucked up and no woman is worth my time. One year ago I was ready to accept my life as a social pariah, no friends, no problems. One year ago I thought I could not find better than her and my one chance of true happiness left me like she left me.

Two weeks from today. I met someone who is the light of my life. Someone who sets up scavenger hunts for me on Valentine’s Day. Someone who takes every opinion of mine to heart and will do anything for me. Someone who will put up with me calling her up at 4am so I could tell her how I figured out a certain problem. Someone who needs to hear my voice before she goes to sleep. Someone who has to tell me first about new news or gossip. Someone who loves and cares for me with every beat of her heart.

I will never curse fate again.

24 Name: Otakun : 2009-05-14 08:55 ID:ZHaP8A5v

>>23 Good for you,hopefully the rest of us single people get blessed with luck as well! =P

ALRIGHT PEOPLE! With that being said, its that special time of the year again! Its summer! Get off your butts, do something for yourself and meet new people! Say "yes!" to life!

25 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-05-14 13:55 ID:ZcryOXvp

doesn't sound like the same spot to me.

26 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-05-22 03:23 ID:X54I4SHM


27 Name: Otakun : 2009-05-22 07:23 ID:ZHaP8A5v

Hahaha, I've been so busy with things girls has been the last thing on my mind. I just don't have the time for relationships or flirting no less =P

28 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-05-22 08:20 ID:iRrcpr22

all the girls I am attracted to turn out to already be taken :(

29 Name: Otakun : 2009-05-24 08:02 ID:ZHaP8A5v

>>28 Yeah that could be a problem lol. Are you sure you're not just a coveter? You covet things people already have? Like pizza at an anime convention? Still whatever we want the most we can't have unfortunately

30 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-05-24 10:25 ID:EP22siH7

well, I have the same problem as 28 and I found the fact that girl I want is already taken after starting to like her... and not only once so I wouldn't say that this is the problem

31 Name: 28 : 2009-05-24 23:36 ID:+6IgtsWH

hehe nah I didn't know she was taken until afterwards so it's not a wanting what other people have thing.

32 Name: Einz : 2009-05-25 00:14 ID:g4EusaWf

Me too, there's someone who say U don't know how precious
something / someone until u lose it
but that's too late T_T

33 Name: Otakun : 2009-05-26 06:15 ID:ZHaP8A5v

Only goes to show that we must not hesitate when a chance or opportunity arises. Might as well shoot for something even if theres a chance to miss, hey you might even get a hit.

34 Name: Einz : 2009-05-27 01:29 ID:g4EusaWf

The next time i get the chance, and my heart say ok,
i just hope i have courage to take the opportunity ..

afterall, no pain no gain ...

35 Name: Otakun : 2009-05-28 09:23 ID:ZHaP8A5v

Oh you don't need courage lol, you just need to lose a bit of your sanity is all. Just say in your mind... screw it all its not like the worlds going to end if I screw up here right? Jump into the pool of romance without a thought of it being warm or freezing!

36 Name: Red : 2009-05-29 02:22 ID:2D+2DgA+

I'm in a classic dilemma--I am close friends with a girl, and I want to make her happy. Unfortunately, there's another guy who makes her happy, and he might have better chances of being with the girl than I. Therefore, I'm in a love triangle. Me and the girl have gotten close within 2 years, but only as friends... I wish I could push our friendship to the next level as intimates, by becoming the one guy that makes her happiest.

I don't know whether to let it go and let the other guy fulfill the role, or to fight back and be "him". In the end, it's her happiness that matters most to me...

Any advice? =/

37 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-05-29 13:14 ID:cJrmAE3+

Ugh. Got friend zoned HARD tonight at work, in front of just about everyone in the break room. To make matters worse, this one girl is trying to hook me up with someone else, and the girl I like is helping! This girl they're trying to hook me up with... she's a nice girl and all, but her sideburns are more impressive than MINE. x_x

38 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-05-31 12:40 ID:XdnJRVxE

>>37 lmao poor u! just start molesting or hitting on the girl you like.. :3

39 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-05-31 23:01 ID:TeLo7Rx3

lmao; third time that i hooked up one of my friends with a girl i liked. Worst part she knew that i liked her and asked me to ask if my friend(the guy she liked, liked her back) quote; i know that u like me and all, but can u ask if ,friend's name here, likes me? lol imma go hang myself now (partly jking)

40 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-06-01 06:18 ID:jVrQhdkf

Once I got to the point of listening to melancholy chiptunes alone in my room I think there's no going back.

41 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-06-01 09:28 ID:of7e3NvV

So I meet the first girl in a year that I can see a relationship possibility with. (Most important part is that she isn't taken, which every other interesting girl I meet seems to be.)

I'm aware that my friend also has his eyes on her, and I can't help but think that he's got a better chance than me.

The tought of me getting too serious about her, only to get shot down and see her getting it on with my friend, worries me. Giving up early is much less painful, but I won't gain anything from that.

In the end, it's a question of taking the bet, knowing the risk.

42 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-06-22 21:27 ID:6cR8BwWt

all right... what the fuck is happening? my friend ended a long relationship like few days ago, I introduce her to my other friend and they have sympathies for each other and will probably end up dating... I am happy for them, they both deserve it but how the fuck did it happen? how is it possible that I'm trying pretty hard to find someone for myself, I went through a lot of hard stuff to only have a possibility of having a girlfriend but I never had one and they are just being introduced to each other, have some talk and they like each other?

and when I really fight for someone I end up just being friendzoned from the beginning... so the basic math should be minimum effort equals maximum possibility of finding a girfriend... but no, when I don't look for other relationship than friendship then nothing changes, I still remain single without anyone seeing me as a possible boyfriend... so what the fuck is wrong? what should I do to experience the feeling that someone loves me? or sees me interesting? when will someone fight for me?

43 Name: rhyelee : 2009-06-23 03:37 ID:ojw+8rDM

stop being so insecure and just go for it! >:D
If the girl shows CLEAR signs of liking him as a guy rather than just a friend, it might be best to stay as friends, for the sake of your friendship.
But if the girl is kinda giving you two the same signs mostly, I think you should go for it before you regret it. :)

44 Name: Otakun : 2009-06-23 08:04 ID:ZHaP8A5v

You've got to find the middle ground in the pursuit and the idleness of relationships. Put yourself out there with some intent, but at the same time not. Increase your confidence, but don't be arrogant. Everything in life is about balance and you've got to find your own!

That being said I've probably been on the idle side for a long time now, but the memories of the pursuit days are heart wrenching. Doesn't mean I won't give up! I guess my problem really begins in the starting

45 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-06-24 09:46 ID:YYkt4Im6

so ronery.. :(

46 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-06-25 02:18 ID:pj00ubFz

The sad or hilarious (depending on your viewpoint) thing is that this place is a singles' lounge full of ahem.. singles giving love/romance/relationship tips to other singles... I am really not being an @$$ as I am single myself, but that is the reality... I have come to an understanding that tricks don't really work when it comes to meeting that special someone. Maybe there are no tricks in the first place. Liking is but a sum of complex factors (appearance, personality, popularity, etc.) For whatever reason, people do like to see changes on you. New hairstyle, new clothes, whatever.. one just needs to change something (not too drastic though, no plastic surgery :)) and you will be noticed. I guess a change sends a subliminal message to one's possible counterparts that one is in for a mating season (in a romantic kinda way -- really). So, if one is a guy (like me), he needs to have some money (for clothes, a hairstylist/not barberer, etc.), decent car (girls love it -- end of story), moderate confidence and no extra weight. Again I am not trying to be mean here, I myself am overweight (or fat, whatever). That is if you want a decent looking girl.
Even as I am reading what I wrote, it sounds a bit cynical, stereotypical and whatnot, but it is really a glance at reality. Whoever believes in what female celebrities talk all over media (we want nice guys) is the ultimate blah-blah. Girls like "almost-jerk" types (well most of them do) and that can't be really helped. Yeah, I know what you're all saying now -- people with self-respect and good character do not need to change. You are likely right, but tell that to hordes of girls who drool over six-pack equipped jerks. That goes for men too, we do love slutty girls.
We are coming back to change part again. I am basically trying to get rid of my fat@$$ by virtually sleeping on the gym/treadmill. And that's just tip of the iceberg. Six packs on the faraway horizon is just a small bullet on the list of stuff that I need to change to fit that likeable and dateable guy type. Since I was obviously absent the day God was giving beauty away, I will probably have to go to a cosmetic surgery to "enhance" my facial features and make them more in line with the greatest common (subjective) denominator when it gomes to a dateable guy type (universally accepted by girls) today. And this is what I have to do. I wouldn't really recommend that to anybody. But the reason I am saying this is that people tend to fake when they talk about these things. If a guy asks a girl (who says she's looking for a nice guy and she's not all about looks and blah blah) to date him, she's going to invent a million of excuses and reject him just because she's also waiting for that one jerk in shining armor on the white horse blah blah blah.

CHANGE is what I hate but I need. I have yet to do all parts of that change. See, I am becoming a jerk already although I don't really want to, but hey that flies! So, as I am going on with change, I smell that funny smell telling me that the end result (a girlfriend) may not be really worth all that change (read: trouble). But it's what we are all born for, right. And not just born for, I need to get my @$$ up, lose it, get to my 6-8 pack abs, gradually through layers of fat, "enhance" my face and polish my "jerk" factor to get somebody to love me. Who said love was easy :)

Since this is a singles rant thread anyway, I took the liberty to give my 2 cents. Please excuse my raw approach.

47 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-06-25 08:57 ID:E1DvygRK


Look at it this way:
Losing weight = health + self esteem [win already] = girls [bonus]

48 Name: Onii-chan : 2009-06-25 09:37 ID:6RBKwHt0

I got rejected by the same girl for the 3rd time.

Why the 3rd time? It can't be helped. The feeling just goes back again and again

You see, we're very close, she sees me as a big brother, I treat her as my little sister. I help her in her everyday life like school work, friend problems, etc.

Although, when she rejected me last night, she told me "I'm a better imouto (little sister) than a love interest"

Also, she says that she lost the basis of falling in love with someone, and she's happy with the things she have in the present.

There is closure. I just wanted to post this because I just want to let this out in my system. I have been crying at random times already.

49 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-06-25 19:23 ID:kKcfHeSc

that is a bullshit... or maybe not but just in case, don't believe her... because she can eventually find someone and it will hurt you... also, I would recommend moving on... being rejected one time is enough, three times is better than enough... from my point of view, any romantic feelings for her will lead only to pain on your or both sides...

don't know about everyone else, but I ask here sometimes for advice just to know other people's points of view... I can solve problems pretty well myself (or so I think) but sometimes is good to know other opinions

and about that changing... got a new haircut today:)... I'm pretty lost in what girls like about men so don't know if it will be effective but I personally like it

50 Name: 46 : 2009-06-25 21:44 ID:pj00ubFz

Yeah, I definitely sounded way too harsh in >>46. I guess I just needed to let it out somewhere. But I do get your point and I am like that as well, trying to handle problems on my own. I get frustrated at times, but hey that's life. Hey good luck with that lady-magnet haircut lol.

51 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-06-29 13:44 ID:px9loiGQ


Plastic surgery isn't always a fantastic way to go.

I went under the knife to try to improve my appearance and make myself more attractive to women.

Got rid of the stuff I didn't want, all right, but it also left me with numerous disfiguring scars. The cure is almost worse than the disease ever was.

It's been eight years since the surgeries, and I still have never had a girlfriend or even been on a date.

52 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-07-03 05:16 ID:L9p927c+

>>46 To undergo plastic surgery to please others is stupid. The only valid reasons to undergo plastic surgery is to address some disfigurement condition, or to please yourself.

As for others, it's much easier to find someone who likes you the way you are, than to knife yourself into an abstract ideal which won't be perfect to no one. There are plenty of people on this world, with all kinds of tastes, don't lose your sweat trying to please everyone, find people who like you as you are.

And BTW, there are plenty of people here who are not single. However, it's true that I for myself tend to ignore the single's thread.

53 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-08-13 13:46 ID:oBxHQw/B

You know those people that you always run into, and yet you have never met them before? There's this guy that I keep bumping into at uni. He does a different course to me, but we keep crossing paths, to the point where it's become almost ridiculous. When I see him, we exchange the quickest of glances, and I know that he's thinking "What the heck, there's that girl again". I've ran into him every day of this week, except for today. I'm posting mainly because of withdrawal symptoms perhaps.

The last encounter I had with him was on my way to my car. I'd just finished a really long day of uni, and skipped my last lecture because I was so exhausted. When I saw him, I was kind of glad that I did. I think it was my imagination, but he seemed to quicken his pace in order to cross my path (it was quite an open stretch). We ended up almost brushing, and when I looked up from my phone, he turned his head towards the ground, which I thought was very cute. I only wished that I'd dropped my books, or something, just to get a conversation started.

I think next time I'm going to try hold my gaze a little longer.

54 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-08-13 14:12 ID:gthRPDI+

Or try asking: ,,Didn't we see each other somewhere?"

55 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-08-13 20:11 ID:BPZxVKQ4


It would be really cute and playful if you touched him lightly on the elbow and said "Tag, you're it".

But whatever you do, smile when you do it.

56 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-08-14 00:15 ID:pNdjKvFC

Haha, this sounds awesome.

57 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-08-14 14:20 ID:FxD5mAPy

Actually I think I could do this...I'm just afraid of him not playing along..

It does sound extremely cute, and it would be awesome if everything got started off from that, but the chances are he'll think I'm a weirdo. It's probably different where you live, but over here, crazy stalker radars turn on when a stranger tries to make conversation, even on public transport :(
I will however definitely do the latter :D

Didn't see him today again. Oh well, if fate allows it, we'll bump into each other again :)

58 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-08-16 08:31 ID:k3J9HE76

k so 21 year old female is me.. i have been basically in love with the same guy off and on for the last five years.... thus far it has been friends zone to the millionth degree. Neither of us has ever dated anyone. within the last year and a bit there has been a minor shift in his actions. When he is around i catch him staring and we have awesome back and forth talking. problem is he lives 4 hours away and i dont have reliable internet to keep in touch. some texting but thats not what i would call an amazing way to start anything.

ANYWAY....i am good friends with his sister, she says she thinks he likes me, and that i should do something about it. problem is that is totally counter to my personality. plus she has been super wrong about people her brother has liked before, because he is really not close to her. but some other friends and outside observers have noticed a smidge of change too.

k so this summer he was supposed to be working his job for the whole time and not take anytime to come and volunteer at the camp we first met at. then like two days before teen camp (the only two weeks i could arrange to volunteer, and my favorite weeks at that) he says he is coming up. to be fair his other sister who i am also friends with, who he actually likes and talks to is also at the camp. so here were are for two weeks seeing each other basicaly 20 hours a day. nuances of maybes continue to eek from him.

what do i do? i mean if i say anything and ruin it i will hate myself forever. but what if he is waiting for me?

rawr this sucks apperntly i can attract crushes from little 16 year old boys who i have counseled for years, but not the one guy i actually like.

59 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-08-16 23:01 ID:pNdjKvFC

This can go on and on forever. Just make a move. You probably won't hate yourself forever if it does not happen, and I doubt it could be any "worse". If you don't act, though, not only are you going to have regrets for the rest of your life, but it will probably fuck your chances up with other guys and will take you ages to get over him because of the lack of closure.

60 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-08-17 03:54 ID:k3J9HE76

58 here,

i have always been told that guys perfer when they get to make the first move!?!
have i been lied to? it always seemed to be the way it was...

61 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-08-17 10:02 ID:E9LgmlU7

Hey poster 53, ermm... I've also bumped into the same girl who was in one of my classes before summer break at university. I kept seeing her on the streets whenever I walk around campus. Erm, its probably a crazy coincidence though.

By any chance are you meeting this guy at summer school? If so then it probably is a crazy coincidence that we have a similar experience.

62 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-08-17 10:39 ID:pNdjKvFC

No, they don't. And even though it's true that they like to be the ones "in control" in some situations, it's definitely not an absolute.

I mean, preferences are preferences, not law.

63 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-08-17 12:42 ID:GKgZU9CQ

Haha nah, but I wish I did. I'm glad we can relate tho :)
Haven't seen him since before my first post :(
Why is it the more you want to bump into them, it doesn't happen?
Story of my life actually.
Guys I'm interested in never seem to like me until I stop liking them.

64 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-08-17 16:44 ID:Heaven


You've been lied to.
He's probably as afraid of rejection as you are.
Just think of what you'd hate most:
Having him turn you down or seeing him move on to be with another girl.

65 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-08-17 20:21 ID:E9LgmlU7

Erm poster 63,

So the last time you met him was during the normal school year? Since we're all anon here, can I ask what university you're attending?

66 Name: >>60, >>58 : 2009-08-18 06:18 ID:k3J9HE76

now i am scared.....
k so any advice on how do i ask him?
i mean with him living so far away and all??

67 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-08-18 09:40 ID:GKgZU9CQ

Oh nono, I think you misunderstand me, I'm probably on the other side of the world from you. The last encounter I had with him was last week..we don't have break now, and it's the middle of winter here :P I go to UWA, in Australia. It would be too insane for me to comprehend, if you were the guy I was bumping in to. So much so I'd probably marry you.

68 Name: ~Keitaro~ : 2009-08-19 11:36 ID:T/h3uH5m

>>Poster 66<<

Well poster 66 my advice to you is that ask him what he thinks about long distance relationship,,since if you know that he is fine with long distance relationship,,your next moved would be confess to him,about how you feel just probably say what you really think about him,,you don't need anything fancy to say to him because if you don't you'll probably regret it later on..

69 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-08-20 03:15 ID:p1HaMXbg

it sucks being single.


70 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-08-20 03:47 ID:Heaven


71 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-08-28 04:44 ID:+dOdc7Pk

This isn't really a single's rant but it may as well put me back here.

My gf's bday is coming up and me and her best friend are planning a party. So while discussing the plans over coffee, what first was friendly banter now turned into intense flirting.

I need to fix my flirting problem.

72 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-08-28 07:14 ID:9A44Poy/

now this is one of those problems I would like to have

73 Name: FUCKINGFAKEFOESPISSMEOFF : 2009-08-28 20:28 ID:Heaven

>>71 fucking asshole,this is SINGLE RANT THREAD. SINGLE. GTFO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

74 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-08-29 18:11 ID:Heaven

>>71 strikes again

75 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-08-30 18:40 ID:HhZtNchf

any single girls here wanting to meet single guy? :P

leave ur contact details belo... uhm wait. that doesn;t make sense at all.

76 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-08-30 22:12 ID:Heaven

Like oh my god, I have a date with Anonymous!

You can use whspr to leave contact information.

77 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-01 19:22 ID:/T6A2f28

Just went on a maybe-date, but I think it wasn't. :(

78 Name: secret admirer : 2009-09-01 19:50 ID:qqLkC6/Z

I just broke up with my boyfriend :P
Being single is good sometimes.
You don't feel guilty about being attracted to attractive people :) Less drama too

79 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-02 00:37 ID:pNdjKvFC

Two words define this thread:


It's not that hard, dammit.

80 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-02 18:54 ID:nGu095kJ


This is the general board for /love. It is the fml of romance in 4ch. It doesn't not have to be exactly about SINGLE rants. If you want to get something off your chest this is where you go and confess.

Look at the achieves, a lot more than just "single rants" have been posted here.

81 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-03 05:05 ID:Heaven

My point was that it was a rant thread, not a feel good thread.

82 Name: D : 2009-09-25 06:19 ID:rQFuLFc+

I'm feeling just awful. I beg for your pardon, but English is not my native language, so, if I don't get myself clear, I'm really sorry.
My name is not important, nor where I'm from. I have a story to tell and I'm not proud of it.
I felt in love with a girl. A pretty little flower in the right time of my life. I have been always a lonely boy, or man now, I'm 21. This girl, which I love for everything she gave me, was the light of my world, so warm, so kind.
We felt in love, but I think I had Love-At-First-Sight. I was romantic, I gave it all. We were together for a year and some months, we where happy together, or so I thought.
She started to get cold with me. It was because of college and my part-time job, she didn't liked that I had so little time for her, for us.
"I do it for us" I said. "I'm saving money for you, for our future. I also need to get through college, so I can give you the life you deserve." She got colder.
One day she totally froze, when I hugged her she was like ice. "We have to talk" she said. I thought the worst. "I think you don't love me anymore" she said "I think you are more interested in yourself than our relationship. I don't love you anymore, you have changed."
I felt like an idiot. I had to do something to prove myself, to show her how I trully loved her. "I'll make you love me again" I said "I'll try my best. I love you"
Then, the finals came, essays, quizzes, tests, everything. We had extra job for weeks.
I hadn't time for her, and she felt it. She took the move, I just couldn't forgive myself, she knew. "In your free-time, you prefered going with your friends, playing around, or just "relaxing". You are an arrogant and selfish jerk"
She was right. For all my selfish toughts, that I was gonna be able to get her love back, I just left her for later, I was thinking in my and my stuff. So I deserve it.
I just want you, boys and girls of the thread, that sometimes you are lonely because you are an Arrogant and Sellfish Jerk, like me. If you love someone, put that special person on top of your priorities, because she may leave you alone.
I'll live and love my yestardays, when I was happy and loved. Someday I'll move on, but today, tonight, I'll give you my word and my life as an example.
Love them with all your heart, mind and soul.
They say it's allways better to had know love and lost it than never had. But when you do, and you are alone... you don't really want to.
God bless you all.

83 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-25 12:48 ID:u/Eu+Xlx


If she can't understand that you have other commitments as well, then she's also being selfish.

84 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-26 05:08 ID:GHbuPLov


count yourself lucky that you even had a girlfriend. I wouldn't believe it if someone told me a girl had even the slightest interest in me. it's just not possible.

I turned 18 recently and I feel like my life stopped being worthwhile when I was 14. All I can do right now is struggle with first-year engineering courses just so I can graduate with a 0.0001% chance of getting a job that pays dirt. the alternatives are 1) getting a totally worthless degree, or 2) work at a fast food place for all eternity.

85 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-27 22:03 ID:C3YmrjP9

I've never fallen in love with anyone, nor do I think I ever will.

When I look into someone's eyes I see a tangled web of desire and worry; this is the way I feel about love, and I'm pretty sure everyone else feels the same way. When I see that, though, how can I act on my own desire? Men usually talk with their dicks, but my libido just drains out of me. Whenever I try to flirt with someone, I just get plain old scared. But flirting is never instinctual, it's always based on me remembering my emotional needs and desire for a serious relationship with someone who I can help in their times of stress, and who will help me likewise. What a stupid desire--you have to have a relationship before it gets serious. So I've cut it out entirely.

It's really frustrating when I do get horny, which happens only when I'm alone. That's probably due to a decade of public shyness and jacking off.
I wish I had a girlfriend but at this point I'm resigned to my celibate personality. Maybe I'll get an arranged marriage someday.

86 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-10-05 14:09 ID:u/Eu+Xlx

I can "work on" guys that I don't have feelings for. In that instance, the flirting just comes naturally to me. In fact, most of the times I'm not aware that I'm doing it. But sit me beside the guy that I like, and my words fail me. I somehow always manage to make the most normal situations awkward between us, leaving him to salvage the conversation. I know this isn't an uncommon problem, but I'm just tired of the fact that the more you want things to work out, the more you stuff it up.

Anyway, what started off as a reply to >>85, has turned into my own personal rant.

87 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-10-05 22:45 ID:Heaven

I feel you. I don't know if you're guy or girl, but I'm the same. I can be a total player to people I'm not interested in (tried it, isn't really fun, I don't like being a manipulative bitch).

But throw feelings in there? Boom, confidence gone.

Well, I used to be like this. I changed quite a lot lately, hadn't had the chance to try once again with feelings. If I'm still able to have some.

88 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-10-19 15:46 ID:gVANpwUU

25, male, never dated or had any sort of girlfriend.

Somehow, I thought that maybe in grad school, I'd find more opportunities for dating -- my undergraduate faculty advisor met his wife when they were in grad school, so it must be possible, right?

Yet every woman I meet is either married or engaged. And they're all around my age.

Fuck. I just want to experience what it's like to have a girlfriend. Just once, and then I'll happily go back to my monastic existence, if that's the way I'm fated to live.

I don't even care about sex. I just wish there was someone in my life who cares that I exist -- well, someone besides the student-loan people who are greedily calculating the interest they'll make off me while I work toward my degree.

89 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-10-20 13:22 ID:Heaven

If it's any consolation, at 22 years of age, I'm heading down that road myself. It's probably my fault that I've never been kissed, or experienced young love, I've always put other things at a higher priority than love. That's how I've been raised. But I'm not lamenting about the past at the moment.
Now, I've met a guy who in my opinion is absolutely amazing. However he's been chasing another girl for a while now, and all I can do is pretend to encourage him and show no romantic interest in him. My pride stops me from blurting out my confession to him, because I don't want to be the rebound girl, and as cliche as it sounds, I don't want to risk our friendship.

90 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-10-20 23:24 ID:SOzOr6vO

there was this girl whose personality was just like mine... she was like me in woman version... but she had a boyfriend and needed to choose... she chose him... and now she is writting to me that it was probably a bad choice, I should be angry right? or at least feel something... but I don't... this is so typical I think I'm practicaly used to it... frak her, I'm going for someone else now

91 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-10-21 04:06 ID:GSEXC/yG

>>88 Good luck, really! My sister has had the same problem, never dated, and just graduated a five year program of college, and never dated/kissed that I know of. Hope it goes well to you.

I've kissed more than my share, (mainly close friends who 'miss kissing other people' and me, being the lonely one agrees to 'help them out'.) The topic usually never arises, until I end up having a crush on them, and they bring up how much they'd like to be kissed, which, with my infatuation, turns out to be knotty at times. :/ (I'm a pansexual female, with female friends)

>>90 Maybe you can help them out? Get her over him, and show her that you're the better man. c:

92 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-10-21 07:05 ID:gVANpwUU


I can't imagine kissing someone just to "help them out," without any mutual emotional attachment. Perhaps this comes from growing up in a formal, conservative environment, but I'm highly uncomfortable expressing or responding to physical affection -- and kissing is a pretty serious matter.

I'm the sort of guy who needs to be in at least a semi-committed relationship before even hugging becomes a permissable form of interaction. Casual kissing is a strange and alien concept, and I have to admit I don't understand the appeal.

93 Name: Otakun : 2009-10-22 08:15 ID:tCNFULs3

k-i-s-s-i-n-g? kiss? whats that? I've never experienced one of those :3

94 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-10-22 12:57 ID:NE6DOtXe

you do it in trees apparently

95 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-10-22 19:02 ID:Heaven

I'm so goddamn sick of this game
I work so hard just to get out of bed in the morning
Just once I wish that would be because there's someone sleeping next to me that I'd like to stay close to
It kills me how many folks out there don't know how lucky they are just to be healthy

96 Name: Otakun : 2009-10-24 05:33 ID:tCNFULs3

Are you physically weak or ill?

97 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-10-24 05:54 ID:gVANpwUU


I'm not >>95, but I'm in pretty rough physical shape, and I often wonder if that means I shouldn't bother to date. I have a weak heart, exacerbated by a family history of heart disease. My grandfathers both died in their 70s of heart attacks, and my dad developed cardiomyopathy about ten years ago. Since then, he's had to take a vast cocktail of medications daily to survive.

I know I'm not going to live to a ripe old age. I'm only in my mid-twenties, and already I've started to show symptoms of trouble (periodic arrythmia). On top of that, a sometimes-overactive life has left me physically handicapped (I can't crouch, kneel, or crawl without experiencing massive pain) and partially deaf.

I've never had a girlfriend, and that bothers me, but I do wonder if maybe that's for the best. I'm damaged goods, after all -- is it really fair of me to want to become emotionally entangled with someone when I know that my lifespan is likely to be short?

98 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-10-24 06:20 ID:kWyOFEf0


Everybody deserves to be loved.

99 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-10-25 22:15 ID:agxKKGik

its true

hang in there and its okay to be a little selfish sometimes, if you get a chance at love, go for it :)

100 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-10-26 02:58 ID:BPZxVKQ4


what about... HITLER?

101 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-10-26 04:00 ID:Heaven

Godwin GET

102 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-10-26 06:32 ID:gVANpwUU


Godwin aside, >>100 actually does have a good point. Some people simply don't deserve to be loved. The only questions are:

1) Which people fit into this category?
2) How do I know if I'm counted among their number?

I suppose sometimes the answer to 2) is fairly easy to discern. For example, let's say that in addition to my manifest physical defects, I also have problems dealing with physical and emotional intimacy. If these problems prove sufficiently detrimental that I am effectively incapable of responding to affection rendered unto me by a member of the opposite sex, then it stands to reason that, at the very least, I am unfit for love. Perhaps saying I don't deserve it is a little harsh, but that's just semantics. In the end, it's the same difference: I'm alone, and that's the way it's supposed to be.

Ultimately, entrance into a romantic relationship is not an inalienable human right. It's a privilege bestowed upon those deemed fit to exercise it. Those of us who fall outside that category will just have to make do as best we can.

103 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-10-26 17:29 ID:pNdjKvFC


>I also have problems dealing with physical and emotional intimacy

These can be worked on and improved. It's all sementics as you said, but words are interesting: you used "deserve". Well, "deserve" is merit-based, so yeah, by doing the right things, everybody might deserve to be loved. It'll be harder for some and easier for others, sure, but it's not impossible.

Also think about relativity: to extremist antisemites, Hitler probably deserves to be loved. There is no absolute in this universe. Even if you think there is an absolute, it will be relative to your point of view and hence, not an absolute.

It's just another version of "don't give up blah blah", but I'm not saying this, just stating the reasons why. You can give up on whatever you want, if you feel the reward isn't worth the effort.

104 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-10-26 20:29 ID:F9Bj1ban

I enjoy my solitude.

No matter what, no matter how appealing they may seem...

Someone, somewhere is sick and tired of their bullshit.

I've had it and no longer want it.

105 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-10-26 20:58 ID:BPZxVKQ4

> let's say that in addition to my manifest physical defects

What exactly is a physical defect that renders one unfit for love? I believe saying that anything short of lacking the brain chemistry necessary to create such feelings should fate one to be alone for their entire lives is cruel. I'm sure Joseph Merrick had little hope, but if the internet had been around back then you'd be sure he would have had a fighting chance.

> problems dealing with physical and emotional intimacy. If these problems prove sufficiently detrimental that I am effectively incapable of responding to affection rendered unto me by a member of the opposite sex, then it stands to reason that, at the very least, I am unfit for love.

I think there are two categories here (and we should not specify 'opposite sex'):

  1. Those not willing to work on resolving issues
  2. Those that desire change and are willing to work for it

Anyone actively seeking to resolve these issues and that makes an effort to put themselves out there can hope for some healing with the help of a compassionate lover. Although I feel this may be more difficult for a man in any culture where men are expected to take all the initiative.

As a parallel, consider someone with Anorexia. Do they deserve or are they in someway destined to die from it? No, that's a sick, wrong thought. When they've realized they have issues and wish to change, the Anorexic deserves to have someone there to help them through it. Of course Hitler wouldn't agree, but let's assume we are all both rational and compassionate people here.

> entrance into a romantic relationship is not an inalienable human right. It's a privilege bestowed upon those deemed fit to exercise it.

I don't believe this is a matter of rights and privileges. It's a matter of needs. We all need to be loved. Not nearly as much as we need to breathe, but if you've never been nearly suffocated or drowned you will never be fully aware of how crucial this need is. So if you've never loved and been loved you will never understand such loneliness.
True, no one has or can have a Right to a romantic relationship.
But it's an damn important part of being human.

106 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-10-27 00:25 ID:gVANpwUU

>>I'm sure Joseph Merrick had little hope, but if the internet had been around back then you'd be sure he would have had a fighting chance.

If the internet had been around back then, he'd have been cyberbullied to hell and back. Anonymity, sadly, is a two-way street: it may be comforting to hide behind when you need to discuss problems, but it also enables people to indulge all their worst impulses.

>>Anyone actively seeking to resolve these issues and that makes an effort to put themselves out there can hope for some healing with the help of a compassionate lover.

I thought the rule was always that you had to be a healthy and complete person before you were allowed to even consider finding a "compassionate lover." If that's the case, then isn't it a contradiction in terms to say that said lover would be able to assist in the healing process, since one ought to be healed before ever meeting the lover?

>>As a parallel, consider someone with Anorexia. Do they deserve or are they in someway destined to die from it?

Except this is about love, not survival. Except in extreme cases, one isn't entirely dependent on others for one's own survival. There's a degree of self-determination involved.

Yet in matters of love, one is always entirely dependent on others -- unless one happens to be a severe narcissist. In order to engage in a loving relationship, one has to have a partner. And other people are perfectly free to decline the opportunity to be that partner.

If you have issues that prevent you from being able to engage in a loving relationship, there's no imperative that compels other people to help you surmount those issues. In that respect, nobody deserves to be loved. Love is something you have to earn, something you have to convince other people to share with you. If they don't want to, then you are, as they say, up shit creek without a paddle.

>>It's a matter of needs. We all need to be loved.

But others don't necessarily need to love us back. I hate quoting pop song titles, but love really is a two-way street.

107 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-10-27 08:22 ID:pNdjKvFC

>I thought the rule was always that you had to be a healthy and complete person before you were allowed [...]

You thought wrong: no one is every healthy and complete, even with love. The requirement is maybe to not be broken as fuck as to not suck the other into a black hole of madness, but no one asks you to be perfectly adamantine.

And for the parallel with anorexia, that guy was somewhat on point: of course it is about love and not survival, but there are ways to circumvent it. Then again, maybe you're thinking that we imply that by changing your ways, anyone you set your heart on will suddenly fall madly in love with you. That's not the case; love comes in many forms, and maybe one of the solutions is to learn to accept these different forms. Even without a paddle you can swim, if you see what I mean (and no, I don't mean you should turn to scat).

108 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-10-27 08:23 ID:Heaven


>You thought wrong: no one is every healthy and complete

should read

>You thought wrong: no one is ever healthy and complete

109 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-10-27 18:44 ID:BPZxVKQ4

> If the internet had been around back then, he'd have been cyberbullied..

I'm only saying he could have found that blind girl he was always looking for, or someone with a similar illness. Surely, might not the hope for love be what kept him going?

> I thought the rule was always that you had to be a healthy and complete person before you were allowed to even consider finding a "compassionate lover."
> Love is something you have to earn, something you have to convince other people to share with you

There is no 'rule' that says certain people are not 'allowed' to 'even consider' finding love.
If someone has problems dealing with intimacy, how can they work on that by themselves? Hug a tree?
Consider the story of a girl that was raped and beaten as a child by her stepfather. Her scars are physical and emotional. Now as a young woman she's painfully shy and pulls away when someone touches her. Along comes a man who sees something in her and has the patience to show her the love, both emotional and physical, that she's never known.
She is not 'healthy', has done nothing to 'earn' love, has not had to 'convince' anyone to love her. But it happened, and as a human being, she deserves it as much as someone that was brought into the world under better circumstances.
Is this not a plausible situation, which possibly has happened before and will happen again in variations, in which all your presumptions fail?

> since one ought to be healed before ever meeting the lover?

Absolutely not a pre-requisite. If anything, I believe love is required for healing. And it's really that the healing is a side-effect.

> And other people are perfectly free to decline the opportunity to be that partner.

There is no reason this would not be true. But there's more than six billion people out there. The damaged one can not expect love from any one particular person. She can not walk up to a stranger and expect him to love her. But she's free to try.

> Except this is about love, not survival.

There are needs we all share as humans that go beyond basic survival.

> one isn't entirely dependent on others for one's own survival

Everyone in the world is. There are degrees by which we are all entirely dependent on each other in order to survive and thrive. Since I don't grow my own food and don't know enough about plant life to even forage, I depend on the grocer and the long line of people that supply the food he sells. Unless your name is Les Stroud, you will depend on others.

> If you have issues that prevent you from being able to engage in a loving relationship, there's no imperative that compels other people to help you surmount those issues. In that respect, nobody deserves to be loved.

I must clarify a distinction: To deserve something is no guarantee that you will get it. I've admitted such. No one is compelled to help any other person for any reason. I would also hope that for someone with these issues, any one who seeks their companionship doesn't view it as charity work. But simply out of love or hope for love.

> But others don't necessarily need to love us back. I hate quoting pop song titles, but love really is a two-way street.

You are absolutely right. Loving someone and not being loved back can not fulfill that need. And that's what we all wish for and need, that two-way street. Others need to love and be loved. Assuming other are healthy, they really don't need it as much because they've probably already have it or had it.

I'm not saying that there's someone out there for everyone. Tragically, some people will live and die without ever having had that critical part of the human experience. And if you say that's fate, I say it's merely hindsight. What we all deserve even more than love is hope. And I feel you're saying there are some people out there that should not be afforded that limitless commodity.

110 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-10-27 20:57 ID:gVANpwUU


>>I'm only saying he could have found that blind girl he was always looking for, or someone with a similar illness.

He might have been able to find her, but I doubt anything would have come of it. The internet has, if nothing else, made us all much more cynical. I know if I received a message from a purported girl who expressed interest in me because I have limited range of motion in my legs, or because I'm partially deaf, my first response would be, "why?" I imagine it'd be the same for the blind girl. It's not at all flattering to know that someone is interested in you because of your disability, not in spite of it.

>>If someone has problems dealing with intimacy, how can they work on that by themselves? Hug a tree?

I think the argument generally goes that intimacy issues should be worked out through therapy and/or medication, so as not to burden a lover with one's romantic deficiencies.

>>Consider the story of a girl that was raped and beaten... Is this not a plausible situation, which possibly has happened before and will happen again in variations, in which all your presumptions fail?

I don't think my presumptions have failed at all. Note that I said that, according to the standard argument, a person should be healthy and stable before finding a "compassionate lover." In your example, the girl didn't find her lover; he found her. If a person is fortunate enough that someone else would seek out him or her and desire to enter into a relationship with that person, despite his or her "scars," then the onus is on the one seeking out the disabled person's affection. He or she has to accept the consequences of his or her decision.

If an unhealthy or incomplete person seeks out romance without healing first, then that leaves the other party open to the possibility of entering the relationship without full knowledge that this is likely to be a relationship more difficult to navigate than the norm. The healthy party has to be aware of what he or she is up against, and that his or her partner will need extra patience, consideration, and care. To enter a relationship under false presenses is profoundly unethical.

A better analogy were if your raped and beaten girl were somehow doing the pursuing. If she disclosed to her prospective partner all the trauma she has suffered, and that person still agrees to the relationship, that's just fine. But if she doesn't tell him, and they enter into a relationship, he'll find out eventually. It may come as a complete surprise to him and he will likely have trouble coming to terms with the full scope of its implications.

You say it's cruel to say that some people are unfit for love. I say its at least as cruel, if not more so, if someone with special emotional needs enters into a relationship without making the other person aware of those needs. Someone unhealthy and incomplete could certainly enter into a relationship after making the prospective partner aware of that fact, but how many people would really be willing to say yes?

(cont'd next post)

111 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-10-27 20:58 ID:gVANpwUU


(cont'd from previous post)

>>There are degrees by which we are all entirely dependent on each other in order to survive and thrive. Since I don't grow my own food and don't know enough about plant life to even forage, I depend on the grocer and the long line of people that supply the food he sells. Unless your name is Les Stroud, you will depend on others.

But the point, as you yourself seem to concede with that last sentence, is that it is at least theoretically possible to survive independent of other human beings. It is not possible, theoretically or otherwise, to love -- and be loved -- independent of other human beings.

>>I must clarify a distinction: To deserve something is no guarantee that you will get it.

On this, at least, we agree. Yet I cannot say I share your optimism that people would be willing to help someone out romantically, even as "charity work." People all have their own problems; why would they willingly choose to enter a relationship where they have to deal with someone else's (arguably more intense) problems in addition to their own? The other person has to know that this will be an uphill struggle; why shoulder that additional burdern, when the healthy party could just as easily find someone more normal?

I'll grant that this sort of thing likely does happen, albeit uncommonly, but the how and why of it is mystifying to me.

>>What we all deserve even more than love is hope. And I feel you're saying there are some people out there that should not be afforded that limitless commodity.

Oh, people are free to hope all they want. But there is a point at which hope becomes a fool's errand. I think we, and especially those of us who qualify as "damaged goods," have to recognize that fact. Eventually, hope becomes counter-productive.

112 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-10-27 21:00 ID:gVANpwUU


>>Then again, maybe you're thinking that we imply that by changing your ways, anyone you set your heart on will suddenly fall madly in love with you. That's not the case; love comes in many forms, and maybe one of the solutions is to learn to accept these different forms.

And what might those different forms be? Charitable work? Admission to the seminary? Something else that centers on a form of love other than romantic love?

113 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-10-28 05:48 ID:Heaven


>And what might those different forms be?

Just different forms of romantic relationship. I don't know what your experience of love is, but "love" itself is different with each person. No two relationships are the same. A lot of people try and fail at relationships because they expect it to enter an hypothetical frame they've made. They imagine it is supposed to work like this and when it doesn't, give up (that is 99% of the time before the relationship even began or before they even considered some person as a partner). If you have too many expectative as what to find in a relationship, you will have trouble finding one, and sadly, you will have trouble widening your perspectives. And no, reading a lot of romance books and watching a lot of romance films doesn't help. At all. More like the opposite.


>If someone has problems dealing with intimacy, how can they work on that by themselves? Hug a tree?

Confronting your fears is the best way to learn to manage them. By going slowly, one step at a time. And of course, therapy and meds, if you're into that.


>according to the standard argument [...] unethical [...]

Call me a cynic, but I don't think those are that important.

>You say it's cruel to say that some people are unfit for love. I say its at least as cruel, if not more so, if someone with special emotional needs enters into a relationship without making the other person aware of those needs. Someone unhealthy and incomplete could certainly enter into a relationship after making the prospective partner aware of that fact, but how many people would really be willing to say yes?

More than the people who would anwser if you don't ask. But yes, going out with someone without telling them of your issues is kinda cruel and is not honest (if you want to build a relationship based on honesty, good start buddy), I agree with that. Still, that doesn't mean you can't do it and see how it turns out. You should not is very, very far from you can not.


>why shoulder that additional burdern, when the healthy party could just as easily find someone more normal?

Some people are "healers" by nature. They're attracted to the weak and broken. Yes, it is strange, but there are quite a lot out there. Yes, they don't often finish their life with their broken companion, but it happens too. Some will skip to someone that has it worse when the first starts to get better. But that's not the point; the point is, some people do that.

>Eventually, hope becomes counter-productive.

I wholeheartedly agree with this. But hope is good, as long as you don't mistake hope for longing, as long as your hope is not irrealistic, and as long as you don't solely rely on hope. I'd say don't give up hope, but yeah, maybe question some of your expectations.

114 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-10-28 17:26 ID:BPZxVKQ4


> interested in you because of your disability... "why?"

I'm certain Merrick didn't have a blind fetish. He wished to find someone who would love him for who he his and not be first repulsed by his appearance. I could only judge him poorly if he had no interest a woman just like him.
"Why" is a good question with fascinating answers. I'm aware of amputee fetishism and find it creepy, but if I had stumps for legs I wouldn't mind a woman who likes. As for deaf, there are people out there that find the deaf accent appealing (like a french accent). An interesting story is the woman who, as a girl, had a pot of scalding water fall on her. A third of her body is covered with this scar. She's accepted it because it happened to turn that entire area into an erogenous zone, and has found lovers that presumably must go beyond just accepting it. It's not surprising at all that people with the same disabilities tend to pair up. A similar life experience could certainly be a foundation to start a lasting relationship. It wouldn't be unexpected for one person in a deaf/deaf relationship become upset at the other for getting a cochlear implant.
Also note this site, and the option of selecting 'positive about disabled':

> I think the argument generally goes ...

Who is making this argument? Where are you getting these 'rules'?

> therapy and/or medication

At the end of the day, the first or final step is not talking or pill popping, but DOING.

> burden a lover with one's romantic deficiencies

Just as he is free to decline to enter, he is free to leave.

> the girl didn't find her lover; he found her... onus is on the one seeking out the disabled person's affection... the consequences of his or her decision

That's the point. She didn't do anything to implicitly convince someone to love her. It happened, she deserves it, and she's better for it. You've previously stated that it's on the 'disabled' person fix themselves and only then find love. There is no onus here. It's love. To quote yourself quoting a pop song, "Love Is A Two Way Street".

> You say it's cruel to say that some people are unfit for love.

Inaccurate. I say it's cruel and uncompassionate that you would say that.

> its... cruel... if someone with special emotional needs enters into a relationship without making the other person aware of those needs

Except under extreme circumstance (HIV?), it's never wrong to want to put your best face forward. I would absolutely agree that when it's time to define the relationship, after three dates or three months, full disclosure is necessary. To not say you have intimacy problems or commitment issues would not only be dishonest but likely doom the relationship anyway. It would be weird to have someone say on the first date: "I'm bipolar, I hope you can accept this burden". I'm not certain if you had such an illness you'd disclose it like that until you were sure you could trust the person.

> as you yourself seem to concede with that last sentence

I consider myself a rational person and do concede, that two are required for a beneficial love that fulfills that human need. However I don't recall arguing against that. One could love someone or be in love with someone and have the other not return it, because love is not a physical thing but a feeling or a state of mind.

> this sort of thing likely does happen...but the how and why of it is mystifying to me.

It mystifies me that you don't understand. I've been on one side of the game and I would love to be a person that could take away that pain.

> those of us who qualify as "damaged goods," have to recognize that... hope becomes counter-productive.

This is just cynical. Cynical people have shorter lifespans. Most especially lonely ones.
To quote a pop song:

"For they could not love you,
But still your love was true.
And when no hope was left in sight
On that starry, starry night,
You took your life, as lovers often do.
But I could have told you, Vincent,
This world was never meant for one
As beautiful as you."

115 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-11-04 04:14 ID:vH5fW7tT

How dare you

How dare you tell your friends our relationship was nothing, that you never liked me. I can remember those cold nights, you cuddled in my arms asking if I would ever leave you. I remember you telling me how you missed me and wanted to see me. Tell your friends that we weren't that serious, that we were nothing more than friends with benefits. I know and you know that there was something more. You can hide it under the floor but you know it screams loudly; there was something between us. Go ahead, let them think, I won't stop you. The fact you have to play it up, remind them over and over is enough proof. Tell them what a bastard I was and how big of an asshole I am. Tell them every day and every hour. The more you tell them, the more I know you are trying to hide the fact that you allowed yourself, the queen of the campus, the princess of palestine to fall for a nobody, nerd, geek trekkie otoku like me and how you wish you never let me go. I was never the perfect guy for your friends, but I was the perfect guy for you.

116 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-11-04 09:04 ID:fHjYMdn8

I just met a girl who likes video games, anime, manga, rpgs, and hates Twilight... not to mention she's hot. I think i'm in love

117 Name: Otakun : 2009-11-04 17:16 ID:Nn5nJb/m

Sounds like you won the lottery! Good luck with her!

118 Name: Lull : 2009-11-10 07:39 ID:wP2uBpDU

I'm getting sick of being single. I want to go on dates but people who ask me out are the ones I'm not attracted to at all.

119 Name: Otakun : 2009-11-11 06:08 ID:tCNFULs3

Lull, if they're "nice" give them a chance. Sometimes love is born through experience and not through attraction

120 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-25 09:37 ID:3zB1VEhN

It's Christmas day today and i just confirmed how sad and lonely i am being with no one at all - not family, not friends, and no special other. I sincerely hope the new year will bring something new for all of us.

Im a young male, unemployed due to a rough educational history though still trying. Due to my very low self esteem i seem to find reasons for girls to dislike me which also lowers my confidence for talking to a girl in the street. Most of this has stemmed up from my uneasy, sickly and lonely childhood. I can't say ive been single all my life though, ive experienced many relationships. Most girls ive dated seem to be shallow and never took notice that i'm more serious then just physical contact which can last but a moment, where as feelings and experiences stay with you forever.

I guess i feel ashamed sometimes to also reveal that by heart im an otaku which i try to hide and enjoy a subtle quiet life where as i have no real interest in living a hectic life like most of the people my age. Lots of people tell me to losen up but i just dont know how when in my heart, i feel the way i do. I don't have very much friends either because i tend to seclude myself. The reason i've taken my time to write this to a bunch of strangers is well... i guess i feel im at the edge of a cliff hanging on barely and that maybe something may change by opening up.

121 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-27 01:52 ID:wlKdDTze


>>i guess i feel im at the edge of a cliff hanging on barely and that maybe something may change by opening up.

I believe that only holds true if you open up to people who are capable of helping in some way.

We're just voices in the digital choir. There's really nothing we can do to help your problems -- outside of dispensing advice -- and you're not terribly likely to pluck yourself a girlfriend out of our ranks.

As for feeling like you're hanging on the edge of a cliff, that's life. Agony, pain, and misery are essential parts of the human condition; none of us will ever be without them. The best you can hope for, really, is to struggle through it and count what blessings you have. There are a lot of very unhappy people in the world -- always have been, always will be. Those who are truly content are the tiniest of minorities.

122 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-27 11:10 ID:0qUViQ5z

I still got a trauma after the failed relationship with 5 ft 11 in with long-haired natural blond in 200X

123 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-12-28 14:33 ID:T1S20/Nu

i just tried signing up on eharmony and it said it was unable to match me. I am THAT big a loser :(

124 Name: Otakun : 2009-12-28 18:08 ID:5yryHPca

I hope all of you find someone special in the new year! Give it your all!

125 Name: Lull : 2009-12-29 05:46 ID:IyqLC8VT

>> 119

I don't know. I feel bad for giving them hopes for something that wouldn't happen. I know that it's my fault for having a standards when it comes to guys. I try to lower it really but no one seemed to have given me the "I'm interested in you.. sure why not, I'll give you a chance" feeling yet.

I can't help but compare them to my long time crush for about 4-5 years (and still counting lol) (whom doesn't know I exist at all.. but I like him for some reason).

126 Name: Otakun : 2009-12-29 07:44 ID:5yryHPca


Hakuna Matata. You can't let a crush that you don't know very well hang you up on the possibilities in front of you. Maybe you should take charge and possibly give the guys you're not attracted to a chance too. You might end up finding someone special if you stop giving yourself an excuse not to be happy.

127 Name: noodlez : 2010-01-13 07:46 ID:tx/CV0GL

sighhh, 20 and still single...
Age= being girlfriendless
And so officially everyone i know has either dated or currently dating. Am i that much of a loser?

128 Name: cc : 2010-06-27 07:26 ID:LlHutdf8

5yrs single here. damn, why the hell? anyway, i'm looking for nice, kind jap chicks that's why.
i think i'm very unsociable when some girls are trying to get my attention whom i don't dig.
crappy life being single. waiting for that perfect someone might leave me single for a decade. crap.
age=single might be worst afterall...

129 Name: Dæmon : 2010-06-27 14:04 ID:Heaven

omfg. Some idiot just bump this.
Just create a thread -.-

130 Name: Dæmon : 2010-06-27 14:05 ID:Heaven

eek wrong post.

131 Name: Otakun : 2010-07-02 08:54 ID:pfiEqYxk

Don't just wait, get out there and do something!

132 Name: somebody : 2010-07-08 19:59 ID:MIneCGvD


It said the same thing to me! its not the greatest site Dx

133 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-10-01 04:22 ID:rw1OqfRp

Ughh, I'm so lonely and lovesick lately. But the worst thing is that I don't even have any girls to dream about. I'm pining for somebody I haven't met yet, I guess. Hopeless.

134 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-10-01 05:26 ID:/9au6kVk

I know how you feel man I'm stuck in my apartment with my friend and his girlfriend every time I see them it just reminds me of how alone I really am which is great because I see them everyday. I really want to find someone but I'm too paranoid and see emotions in people that don't exist. Oh well sometimes I see them argueing and I think to myself maybe being single isn't so bad after all. Every lifestyle has its hardships. After my last relationship maybe being lonely isn't so bad but still it's cold really cold being alone.

135 Name: Otakun : 2010-10-01 22:50 ID:Heaven

Just take a chance on someone you wouldn't expect to be with. They can slowly become your world

136 Name: Nanimo : 2010-10-10 10:34 ID:oX9jOq7H

I just wanted to put it out there...I'm 22-years-old, been single for that long, and have been pining for this particular boy since I was 16. Half of me wants to hit myself in the head until I get a very minor concussion and the other half won't let me forget...and all the while, my alter-ego is shaking her head at my indecisiveness.

137 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-12-02 15:32 ID:NMHQz2ow

Been a while since I'd been around here.

Last night something odd happened. I dreamt of my childhood sweetheart. I very rarely think of her now; we lost track of each other after elementary school. I haven't seen her in something like... fifteen years?

It made me feel strange, so as I woke up, I googled her name out of curiosity, only to find out she got married last summer. For some reason, it made me feel awful, nearly sick. Maybe because it made me feel like I've achieved nothing, I don't know.

It's been a bleak day.

138 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-12-02 19:06 ID:wmbDG3zf

Life's all about direction, not position.

139 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-12-11 20:07 ID:EIe5yBKq

I took >>135's advice and hooked up with a girl. After a couple weeks, just as I was getting comfortable, she went back to her ex-boyfriend who had dumped her but suddenly changed his mind once he saw how happy she was with me.

I bear no ill will to either, as they're both my friends. I still feel a little shafted, though. It doesn't help that my own ex-girlfriend recently stopped talking to me. Guess it's back to square one!

140 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-12-12 23:48 ID:KsVgDcid

I couldn't get along with anyone who isn't brilliant in their work, whether it be technical or artistic. Also they would have to be beautiful in body as well as mind - being healthy and physically active is a must. No, I am not a fat slob who dreams of what he will never have. I'm just a highly disciplined nerd who expects no less from people than what I expect from myself.

And I'm still single. Go figure.

141 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-12-19 08:31 ID:n2KeuiD4


Perhaps your standards are too high? I know plenty of people who are brilliant and also are beautiful. The more people you meet you are more likely to see these types of people. Sometimes it is not evident but if you have an open mind you can see someone who is amazing in both looks and personality.

142 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-12-20 13:38 ID:Heaven

I'm going to die alone.

143 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-12-21 08:19 ID:EIe5yBKq

Spent a cold night next to my cute neighbor watching the moon. My inner cynicism tells me it won't lead to anything. But for now, I'm going to sleep in the happy bliss of potential love yet to be tarnished by harsh reality.

144 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-12-22 09:20 ID:1ieJaSJ1

This is gonna be yet another lonely Christmas.

145 Name: Mr Write : 2010-12-22 11:07 ID:soRahuQ9

This caught my eye. Don't forget that, ultimately, it's the person that matters, not the bond. They should not suddenly lose all value, simply because they won't be "yours". You should just enjoy connecting with others, regardless of what becomes of your relationship. You'll enjoy life more that way, trust me.

146 Name: 徐monster!iSdvTwk/y. : 2011-01-03 15:43 ID:P5IOeNzf

Whoo, it's 2011 and I'm still a single dude ._.
I have to admit, the moment of New Years (countdown) is only wonderful if you have someone to share that moment with :/

Oh well, one year... hopefully with someone from Hong Kong. :3

147 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-01-04 07:47 ID:Heaven

>> 146

I've been single for 23 years now, never had a girlfriend in my entire life. However I believe that it will eventually happen, just hang in there. Even densha otoko eventually found his girl ^_^. So every new year's eve I always tell myself: another year, another chance!

148 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-01-04 18:45 ID:IQuYkToq

As my thoughts oscillate wondering if I'd ever feel love with a special someone or won't, it's as if my heart is caving inside itself (._.)

149 Name: Otakun : 2011-01-13 09:08 ID:Heaven

Its the start of a New Year, don't let the past bog you down in your attempts at happiness. Keep pushing forward. If the world really does end in 2012 then go all out in everything you do!

150 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-01-31 02:15 ID:Heaven

I really need to stop spending so much time and energy on this girl that already has a boyfriend. It's not that I don't enjoy our platonic moments of warm friendship, but in the end it's painful when we can't kiss.

151 Name: 映画男 : 2011-02-04 20:07 ID:IVtXeNd5

>>150 just let it flow naturally, if things work out naturally then it'll all work out in the end :)

and yes i agree, you should touch a girl with a bf lol

152 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-02-15 08:42 ID:Heaven

My ex thought Valentine's Day would be a good night to tell me about her sexual encounters she's had with another guy. Seriously, what the fuck?

153 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-02-20 23:50 ID:9MHZPBBO

I can't bring myself to like women. I have sex with them sometimes, but I've never had anything even approaching a friendship with a girl, let alone a relationship. I guess I am just an old-school misogynist. If females didn't have boobs and a vagina, they'd simply be regarded as boring, annoying people who suck at everything.

I'd love to find a cool chick to have as a girlfriend, but they don't seem to exist. I don't want to have casual sex until I'm 50. How do I found worthwhile female?

154 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-02-23 08:42 ID:POcUtmC/

I'm a 23 year old female virgin and fear I'm going to continue my slow walk down the path of crazy cat lady if I don't do something about it. While part of me wants the companionship more than just about anything, at the same time, I can't help but feel like maybe it's meant to be like this for me, because it almost feels right that I don't belong with anyone, even if it's not what I want.

I have difficulty enough talking to men, mostly because I'm just the typical shy nerd. I also have a sort of taste of men I'm attracted to. I've attempted to try and overcome this by at least settling with whoever can accept me, and I even managed to talk to a couple of guys who seemed nice. That is, up until I gave them my number and they both tried to initiate sext messaging with me. Maybe I'm desperate, but it feels a little insulting when their dick comes up in conversation while I'm trying to get to know them.

I sometimes get told I'm pretty. I also sometimes get told I look like a boy, a lesbian, or just plain weird. Being outgoing is hard enough as it is when you're used to people talking about you behind your back all the time.

I had been at least been in one relationship before, several years back. Internet, of course, but we did meet up and I at least got to kiss him. I actually had the chance to lose my clutch hold on my virginity, but I was terrified and just couldn't do it. We ended up breaking up about a month later, but he had friends in my area, so he moved nearby. We rarely hung out.

A little less than two years ago, sent me a text message asking if we could spend some time together, since we hadn't seen each other in a while. I made up an excuse and told him I was too busy to see him. Several days later, he committed suicide. I didn't go to his funeral.

I know it wasn't my fault it happened, but I can't help but feel guilt about the situation. Maybe I feel like the guilt is me just telling myself my failure with men today is because of a failure with one in the past. Or maybe I'm just using it as an excuse to hide my own pathetic shortcomings.

TL;DR, words words words. I'm tired, so I'm sure this post is just a mess, but I really just needed to type this out. Feels a little better to ramble.

155 Name: jaker : 2011-02-23 14:59 ID:tKzak+pd

to Secret Admirer, I think you should get to know me and let me teach you how to relax and get to know the pleasures of the sexual side of life and enjoy it fro what it is, not live in fear of it.

156 Name: jaker : 2011-02-24 03:40 ID:tKzak+pd

How does an older fella find some good young sex, havent been laid in years

157 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-03-06 23:07 ID:YaPIX7PA

I lose again.

Of the last three girls I've verbally expressed interest in:
1. Flat out no, she was dropping out of school and leaving the state, her feelings for me are unknown to me. (1 year ago)
2. Revealed she's had a boyfriend all along. (Fuck me. >_>) (6 months ago)
3. Told me how she liked me too but life is too crazy right now and she wants to patch things up with ex/not-ex?-boyfriend. (1 hour ago)

The last one watched movies with me and cuddled with me before this.

WTF. I fucking fail every time.

Worst part? These three girls consitute maybe 40% of all the girls I've met in the past 2 years. The other 60% are unattractive--for a variety of reasons be it physical, mental, or emotional--or they've already got boyfriends.


Am I let to the game? By age 20 are all the good options already gobbled up?


I'm pissed.

158 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-03-07 10:17 ID:+sG9Q23h

The strongest adult bulletin board in Japan

159 Name: Nanimo : 2011-03-09 21:54 ID:ifZXsTdf

I really need to stop thinking about...let's just call him "baka deshi" (at least, that's what I called him). I'm 22 and I loved him since I was 15. I wanna hit myself in the head and get a semi-concussion so that I can suffer from selective amnesia. The best part of this post is that I'm listening to DBSK's "I Wanna Hold You" while writing this. Damn me, damn the beautiful song, and damn being a single, horny, lonely young woman.

160 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-03-10 16:25 ID:UrZu3qHh

so why do you call him "baka deshi"
whats the story behind that?

161 Name: Nanimo : 2011-03-11 04:55 ID:8ro9z4DZ

I called him that out of affection. We had this extended joke...I was the "guru" and he was the "baka deshi." I helped him with everything academic except history (for that, he ended up helping me). Anyway, that's how "baka deshi" came to be. Sometimes, if he was really good and amused me, he would get "promoted" to "idiotic apprentice." The weird thing is he never got beyond that because he would often get "demoted" back to "baka deshi." Sounds abusive but believe me, we mutually respected each other and used these nicknames as a friendly joke. Does that answer your question, #160?

162 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-03-11 05:13 ID:YaPIX7PA

Nanimo, ?

Only not a she in your case.

163 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-03-11 11:20 ID:EDQo/mXf

man I wish I had that sort of friendship with someone

164 Name: Nanimo : 2011-03-11 21:44 ID:8ro9z4DZ

Hey 162, thanks for the sweet youtube clip. And damn, you're so right. @163, I hope that you do find somebody, even if it's for a little while. Although I don't speak to "baka deshi" as much as I should, I'm grateful for the little time we had together. I just wish that it became more. -_-

165 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-05-13 01:03 ID:dmxIw7cg

I've finally asked somebody out for the first time after all these years. I did not mention to "S" explicitly that it was going to be a date and such because I did not have the balls yet to do that (and I thought it would be just tacky). Although I do hope that this would be the start to a steady relationship.

This is the plan to the "date". Movie first and then to beachside bar for drinks/dinner. All you Secret Admirers out there! How can I avoid this chance from becoming another forgettable event of my life?!

166 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-06-05 11:54 ID:taidTqYB

I am >>152. I got together the balls to just finally ask her directly since all my indirect shit wasn't working out. She deliberated on it for four hours straight. (I was sitting nervously awaiting her answer for those painful hours. Though I kept saying she could think about it and tell me later, she kept saying "no, just wait a little longer..." and continued debating internally.) Eventually she chose me and broke up with her long-distance boyfriend (with whom her relationship had turned mutually passionless long ago, I found out later). We've been dating happily for nearly three months now and the future still looks bright...thanks for the support, >>151.

>>165, how did your date go? Even if you failed, at least you succeeded in asking somebody out, and you can learn from mistakes!

167 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-06-05 11:55 ID:taidTqYB

Oops, when I said I was >>152 I meant >>150. Sorry!

168 Name: Nanimo : 2011-06-07 00:50 ID:wMaD58w1

Congrats >>152 who's really >>150! I'm glad things worked well for you! And to >>165, I agree with >>152. I regret that I didn't pursue "baka deshi." Although my gut tells me that it would have been hopeless, I wish that I had at least tried. If that had been the case, I would have the comfort of knowing that I did everything in my power. Instead, all I have are good memories and this nagging bit of regret/heartache. Go put yourself out there, >>165! You can do it! And here's a little bit of late advice - since you didn't explicitly state that it's a date, just make sure that you restrict your behavior and activities to "friendly fun." Hopefully that will encourage "S" to hang out with you for more "events." However, if "S" suspects that your evening out is a "date" as opposed to "friendly fun," it's best to be honest. Be candid, polite, and considerate...after that, it's all in "S's" hands. Good luck!

169 Name: Nanimo : 2011-06-08 08:12 ID:wMaD58w1

Sorry for double-posting...but I really need to rant. I turned 23 today. I'm happy that I'm alive and that many people love and care for me, but I still feel lonely. Despite the fact that I have a wonderful family and great friends, I don't think that it can satisfy my longing for a serious and meaningful romantic relationship. I have had one-sided romances, but I'm tired of the heartbreak. I've also had people pursue me, but I unfortunately had no romantic feelings for any of them. (On a side note, to those have have expressed interest in me, I thank you and am humbled by your attentions.) Usually, this doesn't bother me. It's only when the rest of the world is fast asleep and I'm awake and alone staring blankly at the ceiling that I start to wonder if I'll find my someone. Even now, I find myself watching the blades of my ceiling fan turn over and over again...and with every turn it reminds me of how many moments, how many years I've spent being single. Because I am a proud young woman, I often tell myself that I am a SAP (Single and Proud) and that I should embrace my freedom and independence. Because I've never had a boyfriend, I only know the joys and privileges of being unattached. You would think that I can't miss what I never had. Even so, there's still that small feeling of loneliness that tugs at my heart. Sadly, that small feeling is enough to undo me.

170 Name: gwarsh : 2011-06-08 09:45 ID:sBY0l6kP

Still misunderdstood ._.

171 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-06-10 06:46 ID:Heaven

>>169, have you given any of your suitors a chance? Perhaps you would develop feelings for them over time if you hung out with them a bit.

Besides that, all you can do is keep searching. You're still young and there's still plenty of people whom you have yet to meet. It's hard to fully appreciate the advantages of being SAP until you've actually been in a relationship and seen what it's like.

172 Name: Nanimo : 2011-06-10 15:07 ID:wMaD58w1

>>171, I feel a little embarrassed saying this...but whenever I had a "suitor," it would always be after being friendly with them for a while (usually a year or two) that they would tell me they liked me. And the only reason why they would tell me is because I was too oblivious to notice it. Ah, how funny in hindsight but a little bit sad at the same time. But thanks for being kind and for trying to reassure me. I think I'm just frustrated because I never experienced mutual attraction. It was either a one-way attraction or we'd like each other but for many reasons wouldn't pursue it.

173 Name: Tsuna : 2011-06-10 20:40 ID:gNM4q5SY

My curiousity has ushered me to this site. Interesting topics. I don't believe I'll be able to read them all but excuse me while I do. lol. Good evening everyone by the way. Hopefully your morning/afternoon/eve/night is well.

174 Name: Tsuna : 2011-06-10 21:51 ID:k8lEZ4JW

I doon't know if it's me but it seems like when I mention that I'm a christian a guy puts me on pause and runs away then by the time I'm off this "pause timer", he's gone. I'M A PERSON WITH FEELINGS! HELLO?! Is it because a guy thinks I'm going to reprimand him from doing every single thing in the book. To be honest 'yes' it would be nice to meet someone who is christian as well but if I do meet someone who sparks my interest; which is rare because I'm picky; why do they run away based on religion?
I'm not a judge in court who is going to sentence you to death row or prison life because you sin. COME ON!!! -_- -side comments to myself- I feel like I'm watching a game and routing for a team. Good grief. I need to lay up off tv.

175 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-06-11 15:09 ID:EDQo/mXf


that does not obligate anyone to be with you

176 Name: Jupiter Apple : 2011-06-13 01:33 ID:8l5934g8

Maybe if guys are going away is becauase religion is making you behave in ways that are not interesting to them. Or maybe is not just religion...its just the way you behave...maybe you think it´s all about religion when it´s not.

177 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-06-13 14:27 ID:S1aWYm6G

>>174 religious types are often not worth the trouble for those not belonging to the same religion. it results in a lot of headache in the long run depending on how strongly religious the person is. for those of separate faiths, the conflict should be obvious. for the atheists, as far as they are concerned you have a mental disorder. they cant deal with your bullshit and will roll their eyes every time you pray. for agnostics, they dont want to be preached to or converted, and we all know how christians love to convert people.

178 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-08-18 09:32 ID:NWniPZRY

When I was twenty-four, I dated a nineteen-year-old girl. When we met, I thought she was older, and she thought I was younger, so it was kind of a surprise to us both. But there was mutual attraction, so we went for it.

Suffice it to say, it didn't work. She was going to a junior college, whereas I had been out for some time. I didn't yet know what I wanted to do with my life, but I at least had some good ideas of what I didn't want to do. I had lived overseas, burned out on one career, and was casting about for another. Picking my girlfriend up from school definitely felt weird, and her idea of a great date involved basically just hanging out at the mall for hours on end (at least it was a cheap date). She didn't seem to have much to talk about except school, friends at school, problems with her parents (whom she was still living with)… I can't remember how it ended, but I remember feeling rather relieved that it did. It was precious life experience, and it turned me off of the idea of dating girls who weren't at least old enough to have graduated college and lived out in the real world a bit.

Fast forward to now, five years later. I've found a career, and since neither it or anything else was holding me down, I'm living overseas again. I'm taking classes to learn the local language. (If you ever have the opportunity to do something like that, I highly recommend it; great way to meet lots of interesting people from all around the world with a common interest, and not only for romantic relationships.)

I'm finding myself starting to fall head over heels for another of the students. She's single and cute, and even though we're only able to communicate in the language that we're both still in the early stages of learning, she strikes me as pretty smart, and with an interesting life story. She seems to tolerate me, if not like me, and we often engage each other in conversation. I really want to get to know her better.

So what's the problem?

She's nineteen.

But you probably saw that coming.

179 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-10-26 19:48 ID:JJwifDg/

S how did it go?

180 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-10-26 20:41 ID:h4NjPjPe

Single after an off-and-on, one-sided relationship that ended either one or five years ago, depending on who you ask. It was a real disaster. And it was the only relationship I've ever had, so there's that too.

Almost every woman I've met since around my age I haven't been interested in, even a little bit. I don't know what it is. I think I'll have to start settling soon just to be seen as normal by my family. I certainly can't tell them the truth.

181 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-10-27 19:48 ID:Heaven


182 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-10-28 12:24 ID:Heaven

no theyre not

183 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-10-29 16:25 ID:8jZH6dH6

Crazy people are

184 Name: selena : 2012-11-05 04:57 ID:JtUX/Gek

hit me up for a good time;) 4254175777

185 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-11-07 22:20 ID:TCXRWsLy

I asked a girl out, I thought she was interested in me. Turned out she was gay but just really nice.

186 Name: Secret Admirer : 2013-02-04 15:05 ID:i8RJigHF

A woman gave me her number around two weeks ago. I was getting some teeth removed and she was the dentist's assistant. I really don't remember what she looks like or what I said to her because of the anesthetic they gave me. I told myself I would call when I had finally healed from the surgery, but I have refrained from doing so. I don't what to say to her.

And so I'll keep thinking about it and never act on it like I always do.

So it goes.

187 Name: Secret Admirer : 2013-02-23 23:01 ID:/sNNPSiM

Nothing's happening, as usual. I just work and drink and sleep and repeat that process. I'm not interested in women, so I don't mind this kind of life, but living alone might get rough after a while. I may have to settle on someone just to have companionship of some kind. I don't like that idea, but what else can I do?

188 Post deleted.

189 Name: Secret Admirer : 2013-06-01 05:51 ID:xVwwgml2

Most of the time, I'm totally fine. I don't mind being alone, I actually kind of enjoy it (especially when I see my friends in their relationships being miserable). I live like they do, except I don't constantly have to be on the phone telling them what I'm going to do or where I'm going to go. It's nice.

But every now and then, I become overwhelmed with a sudden sadness or loneliness. It would be nice to have somebody to talk to about shit. Or, it's like, "What's wrong with me?" Why don't I seem to be capable of what everyone else is? People say "Just talk to a girl," and I've tried, but it's difficult. It's like I'm trying to communicate in a language I don't understand. I just never learned the rules to the game.

This only lasts for a day or two at most, usually, and then I forget about it or stop caring about it.

I feel like a shitfuck for even making this post, but it's kind of therapeutic to get it out.

I hope all of you people end up happy

190 Name: Secret Admirer : 2013-06-05 08:52 ID:kROAf7Vq

I understand what you are saying

191 Name: cornshit : 2013-06-13 12:18 ID:4S30qyf/

so here i am, finally in japan.. i'm always witing for a hermes-tan.. man can't seem to find one.. but all the chicks here are so fine.. a handful are fuglies.. y

192 Name: cornshit : 2015-05-30 03:04 ID:G/rZE85D

almost 3years in, no gf in japan yet.. but there's a kid about 15yrs old is so into me.. i dunno what to do. i'm no lolicon but she is so cute.. help? i'm15yrs her senior btw.

193 Name: cornshit : 2015-05-30 03:07 ID:G/rZE85D

more like 18-21years her senior.. damn

194 Name: 映画男 : 2015-05-30 08:25 ID:/5fPp4UF

>>193 well in some cases i know some girls like guys that are older because they feel like they are more mature. but 18-21 years older that can cause a few problems such as generation gap. i know people who are 55 years old that have a girlriend who is 20 years younger then them, they sometimes get into a few fights due to generation gap as older people wont understand what the younger generation are thinking.

195 Post deleted.

196 Post deleted.

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