So I live in the countryside of Japan. Not many opportunities to meet pretty girls out here, but I have met one. The problem is, outside of hand holding, she has been very non-commital. But whenever I give up on her, she emails me saying she really wants to do something with me.
I'm not sure about the rules in Japan. Does one just go for the gusto, like in the Japanese movies? Somehow I doubt life is like the fiction. I'm a relatively shy guy that got tired of being burned, so my progress is glacial to say the least.
Does one have to admit one has feelings, ala densha otoko? How do I move to the next stage.
Supplementary: she is six years older than me. Maybe she sees that as a problem.
Maybe she wants out of the country, like most Japanese women dating foreigners.
"Most" Japanese women? That's a generalization. In fact, this whole thread is a generalization. Why do you ask for directions for Japanese women, instead of just women in general? Think for a moment; is it the girl you have fallen for, or the girl's ethnicity? Do the same things with her you would do with a woman back home, and you should be fine. And even if you do end up screwing up, you have the foreigner immunity of not knowing any better to fall back on.
So, if you really like this girl and not just her country... go get her.
you guys aren't listening. The question is how to deal with a woman that comes from a Japanese cultural background. Each culture has its dating rules.
>>1
Just give up. From your post, it is obvious that things won't get anywhere between the two of you.
>>1
Bridge the language-cultural barrier with obscene amounts of sex.
Seriously though, don't ask a bunch of English-speakers for advice. Ask a Japanese guy how to date a Japanese girl.
okay... i was dating 4 Japanese girls back then... n' it was good, until i f**ked it up myself... yea, i was pimp, n' i'm proud... =D
rules:
well, there are no rules... =D
if you're a foreigner in japan, the most important thing is to be able to speak the same language as they speak. no need to be so perfect in Japanese, but it will surely help.
it's would be really cool for them if you happen to know alot about Japan as a foreigner.
do as much things as u can with them. if u'r a foreginer, dun try to act as if you're a japanese... u might know a lot about Japan n' so on.. but you're still a gaijin after all... so, if u wanna act like Densha, forget it!!!
but to some Japanese girls, it might be different... there's nothing to lose if u try to act a little bit like a japanese..
another plus point is: your brain!!!
if you happen to have really good academic background, they'll definitely love to date you. u might end up getting married in the future.
the reason is because they would like to go for ppl who they think they can make sure they'll be able to live with together in the future...
n' yea... maybe u really wanna copy Densha a little... try to be honest... that's the most important thing...
>>7
Please stop putting stuff in the name field.
>>7
"and"
"fuck"
"you"
>>7
clearly too much dating japanese girls and not enough learning english for this one. gb2/school
well since Im in japan right now also, and have some insight on this, don't be shy. be considerate, but somewhat assertive. Its the same as America in the sense that if you dont make a move then nothing will happen.
Just read her body language and be a bit more assertive, if she is very hesitant, then stop there and cut your losses.
see someone else...if it's non commital, then there isn't a big deal.
>>6
I don't think asking Japanese guys such advices is a good idea. Japanese men hate Japanese women dating with non-Japanese men. They sometimes insult couples of Japanese women and foreign men on their BBS.
but they enjoy Manga and Anime with a bunch of big breasted white-looking women? lol...
>Japanese men hate Japanese women dating with non-Japanese men.
yay, just what this thread needs, more gross generalizations.
hi i'm new to this thread, I'm 16 years old = years being single. I currently have a japnese friend (girl) who i talk to using SKYPE. we have talked for 6 hours once which was the first time for me to talk to a girl that long ~"~ I have sent her a christmas gift and she liked it alot.... the problem is here ~"~ I start to like this girl now and the problem is i live in australia and i'm so far awaay ~"~ i am thinking of confessing to her next time we talked but i havn't heard from her for 3 weeks now >"< can someone please give me some advise?? I'm afraid i will get rejected if i say it >"<
>>16
I wanted to point out that you are 16 years old and your post number is 16, congratulations.
if she accepts your confession (which i highly doubt will happen) then good, but good luck going to Japan and going to school having a relationship at the same time.
If you are rejected forget it, dont do anything more. The key is to think realistically and to avoid idealistic goals or you will hurt yourself doing something unnesscary. 3 years down the road your probably going to forget about her.
"dont treat her more than she is worth" and you will get more than you expect.
hmm i see, thanks for the adivice ^^! i will try my best!
my friend said mostly what you said. he told me not to say it because i will just hurt my self... i have one more question to ask.... do you think i should confess or better if i dont??
"you must do what you think is right for yourself"
i dont know how well you deal with rejection, or how you can handle situations so i cant be the judge. hell if i was in your position i would think about if it is even possible in the first place.
What if she accepts your confession? will you be prepared to take the burden of going to japan, school and having a relationship with a person who grew up in a culture different than the culture in austrailia? Or maybe you can handle it, you know somethign that the average person doesnt to solve this kind of situation.
When i talk to girls i become weak and scared and its alot of stress, unless i lived next door to her and didnt meet her online I wouldnt even try confessing, I dont think its worth my time and there might be alot of unexpected things waiting in the future. I would just let her go, ofcourse it might be different for you..
hmm from your oppinion, i did think about it more. maybe i shouldn't confess after all but i think i will just remain good friends, it seems to be a better choice xD
as time goes on you never know what might unfold, so I agree with your choice to sit tight for now...hell, something a lot more local might come into your sight sooner than you think young man!
thanks for the help! i could have done something extremly stupid!~ OMZ
i agree with >>6
it's the universal language. there are no rules when it comes to love.
really??!
i think secret admirer is good at giving advice
i dont have girlfriend for a very long time (three weeks) am i bad?
why there are alot of secret admirers?
That's the default name if you leave "Name:" blank. Like I did for this post.
ah something for me
:P
>>27 well techinicly some people here hasn't even got a girlfriend in thier life! like me, i never had a gf yet ! >"<
lol
I want good relationship with you.im a sincere.romantic and ..................
>>2
They only want out of the country until they leave...then they miss Japan and want to go back. Maybe it's cause they suffer their first mugging. Who knows?
>>14
No, Japanese don't watch anime, only Weeaboos on 4chan watch anime.
This thread is what happens when people who've never dated give dating advice.
Densha Otoko is what happens when people who've never dated give dating advice.
Dont do it kid, you dont know this girl. Shes 16, and in JAPAN 16 year olds are considered ADULTS!
For all you know she might be in some BUKKAKE FILM?
Dont do it kid, you dont know this girl. Shes 16, and in JAPAN 16 year olds are considered ADULTS!
For all you know she might be in some BUKKAKE FILM?
Dont do it kid, you dont know this girl. Shes 16, and in JAPAN 16 year olds are considered ADULTS!
For all you know she might be in some BUKKAKE FILM?
Dont do it kid, you dont know this girl. Shes 16, and in JAPAN 16 year olds are considered ADULTS!
For all you know she might be in some BUKKAKE FILM?
Dont do it kid, you dont know this girl. Shes 16, and in JAPAN 16 year olds are considered ADULTS!
For all you know she might be in some BUKKAKE FILM?
Dont do it kid, you dont know this girl. Shes 16, and in JAPAN 16 year olds are considered ADULTS!
For all you know she might be in some BUKKAKE FILM?
Dont do it kid, you dont know this girl. Shes 16, and in JAPAN 16 year olds are considered ADULTS!
For all you know she might be in some BUKKAKE FILM
DONT DO IT BENSON!
In japan 16 is an ADULT, and she could be in BUKKAKE MOVIES for all you know!
16? Adult? No, not really.
20 is the usual age at which someone becomes an adult in Japan. I think it differs in some areas, but yeah.
first about Japanese NOT watching anime...I think that you are forgetting who created anime to begin with THE JAPANESE. Anime and Manga are sold everywhere to the Japanese, they read Anime and Manga more than most American or Brits read Tabloids.
AmericanGuy...sorry dude but do you really think that your post is more noticed because of how many times you type it? Benson did not say she was 16 years old. Yes, Japan 16 is an adult AS SO LONG as she is also graduated H.S. (typically around 16 or 17), has no religion saying otherwise (Thai Buddism in Japan says 20 not 16 or 18), and also parents who claim them as adult (meaning they have understanding as such).
Bukkake Films are not typical in Japan though. They are typical in Thailand. Look it up by the CIA and FBI reports of the US government.
I do see a huge amount of generalism in this thread and also in the article. There are a total number of 4 religions and 24 Japanese cultures...combining these can be more obvious of the countless variations of the lifes in Japan (ALL THREE ISLANDS). So first thing is first, how am I Japan Educated...I spent 3 years of my life in Japan. My first girlfriend was from Hong Kong and her dad was with a firm dealing with Japan businesses. He mentored me a great deal about the different lives. Most Japanese are making fun of us western people...we really are gaijins (don't go by what westerners are taught what it means..study the language itself. Calling a westener a gaijin is like calling a black person the N**** word..it means naive, stupid, hypocritical westerner..ie it's an insult).
Benson, I have ONLY dated Asian women all my teen and adult life. I have been married to a Japanese woman now for the last 10 years. I do believe that you should confess, just word it correctly. Japanese women like honesty because that shows your honor (YES ALL JAPANESE WOMEN DO WANT A MAN OF HONOR). But do becareful in a true marriage relationship...Japanese women are slightly submissive on the outside, but in the marriage..they are very demanding. Not saying it is a bad thing, just different for most who are not expecting it. Many of the Japanese women do like men who go after what they want (not in a controlling way..they also usually know what they are looking for). Many Japanese men are also very, very jealous and possisive..which is many reasons why they look for non Japanese husband (that's also in accordance with Asia Connect dating service).
>There are a total number of 4 religions and 24 Japanese cultures
>Anime and Manga are sold everywhere to the Japanese, they read Anime and Manga
thanks for that informative necro
I like chocolate!
OP
I can't offer you advice that comes from personal experience on dating japanese women however i had the same problem as I was working a co-op term in seoul, Korea. Having studied in japan for about 8 months i found that they are very similar in that they are very shy and will almost never make a first move so it is up to you to make a first move and let her know you are interested.
If youre wondering ididnt have time for dating while in japan due to my heavy heavy course load -_- but i did in seoul because i was working. I found it more difficult to approach korean women as there are way less foreigners in korean than there are in japan so they were easily intimidated. Make sure you dont move to quickly. Be gentle and once you earn their trust you can start to make your move. i did this and have been with this same korean girl for 3 years.
GOOD LUCK OP
Nice 2 year necro, guys. Just let this thread die in peace.
2 years old? Try 4! HOLY MOLEY!
Use sage next time, lol. This thread refuses to die, it seems.
FUCK ALL U PIECES OF SHITS
NICE WET PUSSY
BALLSACK
AWWWW YEEAAAA
LOL DIPSHITS.
Love is Love. If you choose to give up on her, then DO so. ~ If you choose to have a relationship, then go find one ...with someone who is worthy of YOU. (NOT the other way around!)
Even in the remote country-side, a person will find choices. And Love, ...TRUE Love... is never hidden. TRUE Love is not found by playing (her)Game-of-Confusion or Condescention.
You are not a glacier. You are Human. Sit, Stand, Walk, Laugh, ...and Love like one. If you so choose.
Hey jap addicts, stop being a noob and go back to your own fucking country =)
>>66
No. I love hearing a jap girl squeal when I have my way with her while her husband is working. Feels good, man. =)
Response to >>1 "I'm a relatively shy guy that got tired of being burned, so my progress is glacial to say the least."
Be shy, you have your reasons; and in your own time-ing you will grow less shy. Until then seek slutter women, play in the sac (to some degree) and build your Confidence.
Regarding that one women in your paragraph ..let her go. If she wants a sexual encounter she'll find it. If she wanted you for a sexual encouner, then she would have used her mind & voice and told you already. Move on. She doesn't appreciate your goodness. (date some sluts, and then..)..find a woman who appreciates your goodness.
oh my jizz! it got necro-ed 5 yrs... let this thread die guyz
>>70
your words are at odds with your actions
OK Japanese women are just like any other women, they all want the same thing, kindness, protection and providence from their man. A girl may already like you and is hoping that you do to, so they wait for you to do want thing, and that's to confess to them, because they're afraid that you might not like them back, so if you really love this girl confess to her and she'll tell you what she wants, unlike the US, Japanese woman are very considerate and will accept your feelings, but they'll tell you that they're not interested if they don't like you. My apologies for this being late, I just found this site.
hm... really? i thought jap babes usually are the more forward types who will confess their feelings for you like those cliched jap high school movies? and give handmade goodies on valentines too?
i also here they are a bit more materialistic? is that true?
SOS!
【Japan is being in a critical situation】
In spite of this is an important time for Japan to revive, Japanese Government keeps trying to profit China and Korea.
So China has been invading Japan, and Korea has been eating at Japan.
On politically, socially, mentally and many sides or insides of things.
Many Chinese and Korean are living in Japan now.
Why do they only see this situation without a single word for the interests
of Japan?
If this situation is going on, Japan as what Japan is would not last much
longer.
Do they really want like that?
If Chinese people who live in Japan don't face the fact of their mother
country, they would lost nowaday's their freedom and wealth.
If Korean people who live in Japan don't change their attitude, they would
lost caretaker which they were depending on.
In ancient times many people or tribes came from over seas to these
islands.
May be from the Continent or the Peninsula, but it's not just because.
Here is not China, nor is Korea.
People who came from all over the world and the native people of these
islands were mixed, were grown up by the nature here.
They made up their mentality and nationality together, and then they made
this country Japan.
This is just Japan.
If Chinese and Korean who live in Japan have real intentions of loving
Japan personally, if they really want to keep living in Japan, they have to concider the problems which themselves include in.
If they are going to solve the problems, and they want to live here with Japanese people, we can raise Japan again together.
Is it impossible?
To make it possible is our mission.
This is what we are --- the people who live in Japan.
The Japanese are very reserved with their romance. They tend towards subtle flirting with gestures, body language, and indirect statements much more than western cultures which emphasis bravely pursuing a kiss or embrace. While they MAY find western bluntness some what endearing they will also shy away from it if they feel it is too much too soon or too fast. The Japanese do tend to put a lot of importance on the social bonds they form with others and as such take longer to reach a level of even friendship with others. The most you can do is be yourself but moderate some of your affectionate behavior so you're not "coming on too strong" and just take your time. Eventually when you've known each other for a good amount of time I think a minimum of a 1/2 a year would be ok you should admit how you feel and ask her on a date. There are some culture differences but women like feeling special and that's universal.
Japanese Cute Girls Photo
http://girlsjapanese.com/
They DO NOT date otakus and freaks.
you need to do her in the butt
i dont care who says theyre hot or they arent id still put it in all their holes
Try online dating like POF eg. The simplest way facebook or video-chats like originclub.com dating-chat and so on. There is nothing difficult man. A friend of mine met girl from RUSSIA on such a site. He even moved to Russia to met her IRL. I think it's easier to meet girl from Japan.
hello!
i'm japanese high school girl.
I may be able to answer this qestion.
(ﾉｼ´･□･`)ﾉｼ What about Japanese boys!?
I want to hold hands with someone cute in the Japanese countryside (´･ω･`)