So I live in the countryside of Japan. Not many opportunities to meet pretty girls out here, but I have met one. The problem is, outside of hand holding, she has been very non-commital. But whenever I give up on her, she emails me saying she really wants to do something with me.
I'm not sure about the rules in Japan. Does one just go for the gusto, like in the Japanese movies? Somehow I doubt life is like the fiction. I'm a relatively shy guy that got tired of being burned, so my progress is glacial to say the least.
Does one have to admit one has feelings, ala densha otoko? How do I move to the next stage.
Supplementary: she is six years older than me. Maybe she sees that as a problem.
Maybe she wants out of the country, like most Japanese women dating foreigners.
"Most" Japanese women? That's a generalization. In fact, this whole thread is a generalization. Why do you ask for directions for Japanese women, instead of just women in general? Think for a moment; is it the girl you have fallen for, or the girl's ethnicity? Do the same things with her you would do with a woman back home, and you should be fine. And even if you do end up screwing up, you have the foreigner immunity of not knowing any better to fall back on.
So, if you really like this girl and not just her country... go get her.
you guys aren't listening. The question is how to deal with a woman that comes from a Japanese cultural background. Each culture has its dating rules.
>>1
Just give up. From your post, it is obvious that things won't get anywhere between the two of you.
>>1
Bridge the language-cultural barrier with obscene amounts of sex.
Seriously though, don't ask a bunch of English-speakers for advice. Ask a Japanese guy how to date a Japanese girl.
okay... i was dating 4 Japanese girls back then... n' it was good, until i f**ked it up myself... yea, i was pimp, n' i'm proud... =D
rules:
well, there are no rules... =D
if you're a foreigner in japan, the most important thing is to be able to speak the same language as they speak. no need to be so perfect in Japanese, but it will surely help.
it's would be really cool for them if you happen to know alot about Japan as a foreigner.
do as much things as u can with them. if u'r a foreginer, dun try to act as if you're a japanese... u might know a lot about Japan n' so on.. but you're still a gaijin after all... so, if u wanna act like Densha, forget it!!!
but to some Japanese girls, it might be different... there's nothing to lose if u try to act a little bit like a japanese..
another plus point is: your brain!!!
if you happen to have really good academic background, they'll definitely love to date you. u might end up getting married in the future.
the reason is because they would like to go for ppl who they think they can make sure they'll be able to live with together in the future...
n' yea... maybe u really wanna copy Densha a little... try to be honest... that's the most important thing...
>>7
Please stop putting stuff in the name field.
>>7
"and"
"fuck"
"you"
>>7
clearly too much dating japanese girls and not enough learning english for this one. gb2/school
well since Im in japan right now also, and have some insight on this, don't be shy. be considerate, but somewhat assertive. Its the same as America in the sense that if you dont make a move then nothing will happen.
Just read her body language and be a bit more assertive, if she is very hesitant, then stop there and cut your losses.
see someone else...if it's non commital, then there isn't a big deal.
>>6
I don't think asking Japanese guys such advices is a good idea. Japanese men hate Japanese women dating with non-Japanese men. They sometimes insult couples of Japanese women and foreign men on their BBS.
but they enjoy Manga and Anime with a bunch of big breasted white-looking women? lol...
>Japanese men hate Japanese women dating with non-Japanese men.
yay, just what this thread needs, more gross generalizations.
hi i'm new to this thread, I'm 16 years old = years being single. I currently have a japnese friend (girl) who i talk to using SKYPE. we have talked for 6 hours once which was the first time for me to talk to a girl that long ~"~ I have sent her a christmas gift and she liked it alot.... the problem is here ~"~ I start to like this girl now and the problem is i live in australia and i'm so far awaay ~"~ i am thinking of confessing to her next time we talked but i havn't heard from her for 3 weeks now >"< can someone please give me some advise?? I'm afraid i will get rejected if i say it >"<
>>16
I wanted to point out that you are 16 years old and your post number is 16, congratulations.
if she accepts your confession (which i highly doubt will happen) then good, but good luck going to Japan and going to school having a relationship at the same time.
If you are rejected forget it, dont do anything more. The key is to think realistically and to avoid idealistic goals or you will hurt yourself doing something unnesscary. 3 years down the road your probably going to forget about her.
"dont treat her more than she is worth" and you will get more than you expect.
hmm i see, thanks for the adivice ^^! i will try my best!
my friend said mostly what you said. he told me not to say it because i will just hurt my self... i have one more question to ask.... do you think i should confess or better if i dont??
"you must do what you think is right for yourself"
i dont know how well you deal with rejection, or how you can handle situations so i cant be the judge. hell if i was in your position i would think about if it is even possible in the first place.
What if she accepts your confession? will you be prepared to take the burden of going to japan, school and having a relationship with a person who grew up in a culture different than the culture in austrailia? Or maybe you can handle it, you know somethign that the average person doesnt to solve this kind of situation.
When i talk to girls i become weak and scared and its alot of stress, unless i lived next door to her and didnt meet her online I wouldnt even try confessing, I dont think its worth my time and there might be alot of unexpected things waiting in the future. I would just let her go, ofcourse it might be different for you..
hmm from your oppinion, i did think about it more. maybe i shouldn't confess after all but i think i will just remain good friends, it seems to be a better choice xD
as time goes on you never know what might unfold, so I agree with your choice to sit tight for now...hell, something a lot more local might come into your sight sooner than you think young man!
thanks for the help! i could have done something extremly stupid!~ OMZ
i agree with >>6
it's the universal language. there are no rules when it comes to love.
really??!
i think secret admirer is good at giving advice
i dont have girlfriend for a very long time (three weeks) am i bad?
why there are alot of secret admirers?
That's the default name if you leave "Name:" blank. Like I did for this post.
ah something for me
:P
>>27 well techinicly some people here hasn't even got a girlfriend in thier life! like me, i never had a gf yet ! >"<
lol
I want good relationship with you.im a sincere.romantic and ..................
>>2
They only want out of the country until they leave...then they miss Japan and want to go back. Maybe it's cause they suffer their first mugging. Who knows?
>>14
No, Japanese don't watch anime, only Weeaboos on 4chan watch anime.
This thread is what happens when people who've never dated give dating advice.
Densha Otoko is what happens when people who've never dated give dating advice.