OP here with a 13-year-old update.

Looking back on this thread, I realize how immature and self-centered I was. I thought I was in love, when really I was just desperate to be in love (and also horny) and thus prepared to fall in love with whoever showed some interest in me. And as our relationship went on, I went from shy and awkward to dominating and demanding; both sides really stem from self-centeredness.

In retrospect she was much more emotionally and socially mature than I was. Really, she was an angel to have put up with all my bullshit for so long. Around 2009, after some time in a long distance relationship, we parted ways; although I was the one that suggested it, I secretly regretted it and went through a very embarrassing and stereotypical "crazy breakup" phase, getting angry at her for no good reason. She forgave me though, and we remained distant friends, although the rift never quite healed, and also I think she must have started to realize in hindsight what an asshole I was (as did myself). Our online chats gradually grew less frequent, and so we drifted away...

We don't talk anymore, but judging by social media she seems to be doing well for herself. As for me, I think I've grown a lot as a person. I am now happily married to a woman whom I deeply love. Honestly everything still worked out pretty great in the end. My only regret is that I wished I could have apologized to my first love back when it would have meant something, for everything I put her through. I could apologize now, but I think it would come off as inappropriate and tone deaf if I said it now.

Anyway, thanks, /love/ for all your help.