I can't take it anymore. I'm so alone, I have no friends, girls don't even look at me. Everybody is having fun, they are full of love, all except me.
I'm a complete failure, 10 years of isolation, I barely finished high school, dropped out of university, and found a stoopid job anyone could do.
There's no way out, I have no idea how people become friends with each other, how they find love. Oh wait, once in 26 years I actually found that.. once in 26.. that means I have to wait another 26 to stumble on a person who likes me, and I'll be old already..
I tried to tell them.. I told them I was alone.. but no one understands.. they think it's some stoopid temporary loneliness.. they are used to have all they want, to find new friends and lovers the same way you download new games from the internet... how could they understand what it means to have no friends, no company, no woman around for the most part of ur life, and not knowing how to find them.
Everybody has a family, friends, a girl, everybody is loved... but me, and I don't know how to get out of this... once you lose all social connections, it's done. It isn't necessary to be a hikki, it just happens, you lose all childhood friends, and zzap you're alone for life.
What I have done to deserve this.
>>1
If you really think you are the only one who is alone then you are just being naive.
Also if they already heard your pleas, don't you think they are your friends already?
I'm alone too (sans family). You get used to it.
Go seek professional help. You say you have a job, so go spend some money on yourself and get help. People won't listen to you because they have too many problems of their own to deal with. I know I'd probably ignore some person I don't know very well if they just came up to me and started to talk about how shitty their life is. It's a bummer to be around such a person, which is probably contributing to your inability to create relationships with others.
Hey man! At least you have a job, I'm still working on that one. Death isn't a solution to anything, only life is worth living, you know. Hang in there! Your life is not what you deserved, it's what you do. What happens to you is your own work. The power is yours, 頑張る!
Also, you never know, you might have a form of chemical depression. You might want to consult a doctor, it's worth a few consultations just to get a professional opinion.
It may seem strange, but we live in an electro-chemical age, and if you have a problem, there's probably an ever-increasing assortment of medicinal ways to fix it.
The only option you have is suicide.
>>6
NO.
>>1
shouldn't you consider the fact that there are people around who actually care about you. for example, your family. your family still care about you.
besides, no one likes sulkers. especially if that person is a man. life isn't fair. SIMPLE FACT. but life is just walls that block your way. it's your choice to climb over those walls.
life is meant for people to live, not die. if you give up now, all your effort before will be meaningless. and also you wouldn't be able to get a good girl for yourself. just go to the love and romance board. they'll give you advice.
No I'm not depressed. I'm frustrated. Imagine a hikki recovering. What the fuck are we supposed to do? WHAT THE FUCK??? I got out of the house. I got the fucking job, it's been almost 2 years and it's been very useful... but now what? I get along very well with colleagues, I actually like them a lot, BUT still no friends, no girl, no social circle at all, I'm still totally alone.
Having a social activity like this job DOESN'T automatically create friends from nothing, in fact it seems to me that everyone already has his life and is not interested in inviting others in it.
WHY THE FUCK AM I NOT ENTITLED TO LIVE A DECENT LIFE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE? WHY AM I ALWAYS ALONE???? THEY SAID IF I GOT OUT I WOULD BE BETTER, BUT NOTHING HAS CHANGED, I LEARNED HOW TO WORK WITH OTHER MEN, AND STILL I'M AS ALONE AS EVER! WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS? WHAT?????????? AND MOST OF ALL: WHERE THE FUCK IS THE DAMN STORE WHERE THEY SELL FRIENDS AND GIRLFRIENDS??????
and also, this board isn't meant for scuicide related problems.
"Do not use this board to discuss your suicide-related problems. You should seek professional help. There are many services worldwide that allow you to talk to professional councellors anonymously, this is not one of them. Check your local phonebook for such services."
shoulda read the top.
Don't you enjoy working with others? That's a life. What happens when you talk to these people? Relationships don't make themselves, they're the result of people who enjoy spending time together.
Unfortunately, none of my coworkers live in this area or city (and most are married anyway.)
Unfortunately, I have no family.
I'm just alone and every time I talk about this it's worse because I can see how you take it for granted to have people who care and love you... like they grow on trees..
I've felt that way myself, but I found that there were ways to break the cycle...
If you're into a particular hobby, try to find a local club or group that's into the same thing, and just start going to meetings; E-mail them and say that you're interested, ask where they meet, and start attending; You'd be surprised at how it can change your life, as you gradually get to know people there... From personal experience, you'll find yourself becoming involved with them, both inside & outside of meetings or gettogethers...
Your co-workers don't live in the same "area or city"?? Well, if they don't even live in the city, that's a problem, yes, but otherwise, it doesn't matter if they're married, that doesn't mean you all still can't go on a trip to something like a concert, or a play or to the movies... If you start spending some time with co-workers, you can also branch out & meet people... If you're looking for a relationship, many co-workers, once they get to know you better, could likely "suggest" someone they know in the same age & such, that's also looking for a relationship...
It's a huge step, to break a static, solid cycle of routine like that... I used to go to work, go home, and go to work again in the morning, and felt like I'd be doing that until the day I die, and never get the chance to meet friends, meet someone special, enjoy things, etc.. (I was in the same situation, where all of my high school friends weren't in the area anymore, and I didn't know anyone) I forced myself to take some big, scary steps, and I've met tons of people, and seen & done tons of things, as a result of taking the risk of going places and trying to be accepted...
Learn from your loneliness. Do not hate it but embrace it.
You are alone because you make yourself alone.
Turn your sadness into happiness.
Love yourself so that others can love you.
>>17
huh.. i'm writing to a person who i don't know or have never seen...
but i don't mind though. he will get through this. i know.
BUT MAN!!! POST TOO LONG??? THE DRAWING IS CUT!!!! NO WAY >0<
Life is meaningless anyways. Win or fail, it doesn't matter. We all die in the end. Not everyone in this world can be happy. If there were no sadness in the world we wouldn't know what happiness is. There's a set amount of happiness in the world and you're not going to get any.
KILL YOURSELF!!!KILL YOURSELF!!!KILL YOURSELF!!!KILL YOURSELF!!!KILL YOURSELF!!!KILL YOURSELF!!!KILL YOURSELF!!!KILL YOURSELF!!!KILL YOURSELF!!!KILL YOURSELF!!!KILL YOURSELF!!!KILL YOURSELF!!!KILL YOURSELF!!!KILL YOURSELF!!!KILL YOURSELF!!!KILL YOURSELF!!!KILL YOURSELF!!!KILL YOURSELF!!!KILL YOURSELF!!!KILL YOURSELF!!!KILL YOURSELF!!!
To make you feel better, I've been a loner for 14 years, the last 10 or so years I started to behave more and more as a hikki, now I'm mild hikki and I couldn't go back and change. I have no friends, no one to talk to. My parents don't even want to talk to me. I have no relationship and never had anything to do with the opposite sex!
I'm stuck in this hole and I can't get out. Experience with people always leave me devastated, it's not that I don't want to socialise, its more or less they aren't interested in getting along with me.
You are lucky you have colleagues and others to talk to.
I'm 16, never had anything to do with girls, and have been pretty much reclusive for 6/7 years (moreso in the last 5 years approx - by then I'd lost contact with my few primary school friends). No parental problems (just your usual doting complaining parents). Only speak to one friend on MSN (my only contact), my only friend left from primary school. I never really explain my problems to them, because I'm not sure about the nature they take. I think I prefer doing things alone (my parents saw signs of this back in preschool) but also have some social anxiety and have been diagnosed with Aspergers (though the symptoms are a bit iffy and some of them I don't relate with at all). I've always been at least a loner in the plain sense. I was least a loner in primary school (high school starts when you're 11 in Britain) but still very similar to the way I feel now.
I post at a schizoid personality disorder forum because I think that's a convenient explanation for my behaviour.
Life isn't meaningless for me unless I'm in a social area. If the rest of my life consisted of 100% social contact, I'd probably feel like warez otoko.
Some of the posts here make me feel better though.
>>23 i feel you, i'm about the same. i dont trust a single person apart from my self because people just cant be trusted
>>23,24
True.
Still, life is a big concrete wall which we have to walk through.
There may be millions of people in this world, but it is harder to talk to people. There may be great technology, but our evolution has halted.
There may be money, but there are sooo many things that you cannot buy with it. There may be you, and your posiblities are endless. What will you do now, in this sophisticated and complex world?
>>1 The world is a scary place, but we MUST face it.
Most of the times I think that my life has been full of hardships. It is, and I look back at the tough moments as lessons.
Loneliness is one of those lessons my friend.
You cannot surrender, you cannot dispose of your body and your life. Once you do it, darkness fades in and you lose everything. EVERYTHING!! You won't have memories anymore, you won't have any feelings, you won't have any senses. You won't be anything. You will be NOTHING and will be recorded in human history as dust.
Life is unfair, live with it. Life sucks, make it seem great.
It's your life, the field where you will do your existance's performance. Would you like people to become surprised by it?
Firstly, look where you are, your circunstances and your mind. Then, move out
Although this may not be the friendliest advice, death is the worst...you think that death may end the pain of loneliness...but it ends everything. When you die...you can't feel anything anymore. You can't think anymore. There most likely isn't an afterlife, where you can be all happy and stuff. You'll just cease to be. As bad as life gets...I am terrified of death...The ability to feel and think and be is more precious than you think...at the moment approaching death, you will feel it begin to all slip away...and then the fear sets in...you will want to change your mind...but you may not be able to. You will have wasted all the opportunities you could have had and traded it for nothing.
However you go out is your own choice. If you want to end your life in one of the most boring ways possible, that's your choice. Just remember that there is a great chance that nobody will be around to rescue you. Like many before you, you'll probably fail and cause permanent damage to yourself. Suicide is not a way to get attention, it's a way to inflict maximum damage upon yourself.
Life is for the living. There is no need to think about death because when it happens, it happens. Nothing you can do about it.
>>26
>>27 is right.
Yet let me tell you something: when you fall into uncounsciousness, the moment when you feel you're letting go is actually something really... enjoyable. Like you're floating and everything gets simple. Of course, when you "come back", the mere idea of having enjoyed this is really, really scary. Yet, you know you did.
I think death feels the same (I'm not talking about a violent and painful death, though I guess in the last moment it could be the same thing). Except you don't come back, aren't scared... and never enjoy anything anymore.
The world is what you make of it, if your depressed or unhappy the only one that can change it is you. No one else, ever. No ones gonna come along and do it for you and you cant escape it in death.
It's your own fault. The only one that can make you happy is you.