When I was 3 or 4 I was molested by my moms boyfriends son who was 10 or 12. I was abused by all of my moms boyfriend and my mom, she had beaten my face bloody when I was 3 the boyfriend had picked me up by my neck and slammed me on a wall im 16 now and just moved out of my moms house into my biological fathers house. All of that abuse had still been going on until i left. When I was 12 I was looking for porn closer to my age, I found it and got addicted. Slowly looking at younger and younger pictures. I was desperate to feel what it felt like to be touched there and grabbed my little brothers hand and made him touch my penis I was 13 and this was on Nov 1st 2018 around 5pm. I did more things through out the next week. I got caught (luckily or else I would have never stopped). I only got caught for making him touch my penis. I regret it every day and I'm scared he will remember, but I have come to terms on what I have done, I will wait and see if he brings it up, if he does I will talk to him about it. I already have talked about it with my older brother. Some days I feel like... it would be better to just jump off a cliff and die. I almost considered today until I found this forum. If you hate me I understand I'm an awful human and deserve death for what I have done