I'm going on a date Friday at 11AM. My first. HELP! (41)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-05 20:59 ID:X9l0jdl9 This thread was merged from the former /love/ board. You can view the archive here.

I've actually never been on a date before. Every single relationship I've been in has grown from friendship with people I've already known for some time. This is the first instance where I just simply asked a woman I did not know on a date and I'm really nervous about the whole deal. Hell I was actually nervous just to ask her in the first place which was unusual because I've never had any problem talking to women before.
I have no idea how to act or what to do or what to wear. What should I do or say? Any help or advice you can give would be really great. Thank you.

Note: I'm in this for a relationship and not just getting laid.

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-06 00:38 ID:zAPN695K

Make eye contact.
Smile and enjoy yourself.
Listen to what she has to say.

And obviously don't go overboard with any of those.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-06 18:57 ID:cStDlm2/

Don't ask too weird of questions, I guess. Just try to be yourself and try to relax. Good job man.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-06 22:34 ID:1a6jnnfV

I think "Be yourself" isn't the best advice if you're nervous as hell...sometimes you have to act relaxed even when you're not. People tend to like confidence in others, so play it cool even if you're going crazy inside. Just take it slow and act like you have nothing to lose. Don't obsess over how much she's enjoying herself - enjoy yourself and she will too.

Good luck!

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-06 23:29 ID:X9l0jdl9

I'm kind of worried about that part. I think myself to be boring. I like to read books and play video games and pretty much everything I like to do is something one would do when alone. So far I know she likes cars and prefers a skateboard over a bike.
I read this whole thing: http://i.imgur.com/Idavs.gif
It's more for getting a girl in bed than a relationship but I suppose lot's of it still applies. I guess I don't know how to keep a conversation going when I don't yet know of any common points between us.

How do I make this memorable or exciting? It's just two people getting coffee or tea together and chatting. Even if I already like her I can't think of how I can go about making our coffee and chitchat stand out in her mind as something special from the rest of her day. Anybody else got thoughts on this?

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-07 00:54 ID:zAPN695K

I would say don't try to make it memorable or exciting. Anything you do that's particularly out of the ordinary will come off as contrived or trying too hard.

Just be relaxed, enjoy yourself, let the conversation steer itself. Trying to force conversation can be worse/more awkward than having a few moments of silence.

You'll either click, or you won't. If it's really that hard for you to get along or find things to talk about, it's probably not going to be a very good relationship anyway. That's why you go on dates, to see if there's anything between you. Not to make there be something between you.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-08 14:29 ID:Heaven


8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-08 19:02 ID:CO5z2tzQ

Okay, date over.
I think it went great.
This girl is really something. Not normal at all. She's really cultured and worldly. As a child she and her family traveled around with a carnival. Her family set up those BB-gun games where you shoot out the paper star to win a prize. She's done many varieties of volunteer work. She was once in a steel drum band and worked as a stage hand in a play. She helped in making police dog training videos. She paints, draws, has worked in animation in the past, likes architecture, fashion, fine art, all forms of art really, she wants to backpack across Europe and has a whole list of very specific things and events she wants to take part in or attend that take place all over the world. She's thought about joining the coast gaurd, the peace corps, she loves all kinds of music all over the place. She follows international soccer and likes the old original Star Trek. I ended up just agreeing with her on a lot of things and liking almost all of the same things she does.
She put out a reluctant confession. She likes jpop and "the occasional anime."
Did not see that one coming. She likes a lot Miyazaki films, Black Butler, Vampire Knight, Bleach, and FLCL.
She's really kind and fun. She's abnormally polite in an almost traditional way. She laughs easily, has a great smile, is noble and has strong convictions.

We ended up talking for two and a half hours over food we barely touched. There was a couple guys playing music. One guy on trumpet and another on guitar. We were talking when she said "Oh, I know this song." I listened and the tune was familiar to me as well. It clicked for both of use at the same time. "Over the Rainbow!" we both said. She laughed at my surprise.

I walked her to her place of work when her shift was going to start. She stood facing me expectantly, and I didn't know what the hell to do so I just asked.

"Are you looking for a hug or what? Because I can't tell."
She blushed, laughed, and hugged me. I said goodbye and now I'm sapping a library's wifi to type the results of everyones advice.
I stayed cool, relaxed, and this time around My heart was not pounding out of my chest while I was talking to her. But I did manage to somehow hack off park of my motherfucking upper lip whilist shaving last night. She asked my if I was okay and what happened when she saw it. She said I should have just said I was acting tough and got it in a fight or something. "lolno" is all I have to say on that.

All in all she's really great, and I actually think I did okay on this first date of ours. Considering she agreed to a...second date. ( ・∀・) !! It's tomorrow at night after her shift. I think we're just going to walk around in a park. We have yet to really hammer it out.

Hoooooooly fuck I am so thankful to have gotten this advice from you guys.
Thank you so friggin' much.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-08 20:23 ID:Ls2bS0EE

This sounds wonderful, truly wonderful.

I wish you two the best of luck!

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-11 13:28 ID:2mJS2y7L

You did a good job talking to her :)
And wow you remembered all of that

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-11 16:45 ID:2Nu12t5K

Another Densha Otoko story. But don't stop...keep tellin us how it goes. Also, if you're into jpop and anime, you've got it made man. Not a lot of cute girls are into it...so you're lucky. Good luck on the second date.

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-12 01:38 ID:ekubuSiz

Okay, I will, I had the whole second date typed out, but then Channel4 said I was over the character limit by like four thousand and something. So I tried to cut it in half, paste half of it back, post that, then I was over the limit by 239, I went back, and I lost the other half of it. Fuck, what is the character limit?

I've still got the first half typed out in a text file like it was when I first went to post it. Give me some time to type out the rest of it, including some new stuff that happened. I'll be back.

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-12 18:24 ID:2Nu12t5K

take ur time

14 Name: Get ready for a bunch of fucking posts. : 2012-06-15 03:34 ID:TwEWuLRp

Thank you.
Okay, I kind of wanted to but I did not want to use Channel4 as my blog. But since you asked I guess I will. (Also I'm more a jrock type but jpop is fine too.)
Note: Fireworks were recently made illegal in this town, so people we blowing their stashes all in one day all over town. You need to know this for later.

We met at the same cafe we had our first date at. She was waiting at the counter with a drink she ordered. Hey blond hair was gelled up that day. She was wearing necklace with a large aqua stone in it, a really long tank-top that covered her jean short-shorts completely. Under those she was wearing these purple nylon sort of fishnet stockings or pantyhose things that shifted to flower imagery towards the back. She took off her sunglasses as she saw me. I got a cold blood orange tea and we walked out together. I asked her if she wanted to head to the park like she talked about before.
"Actually, do you want to go to ******* cinema?"
She wants to go to see a film. Cool.
It's this place that is the opposite of a mainstream American movie theater. Here they showed films for other countries artistic Sundance stuff. I love the place, but never have the chance to go. We got tickets to this film: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1412386/ and went in.

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-15 03:35 ID:TwEWuLRp

The movie itself was pretty good and really funny. She actually wanted to talk about the movie while it was playing and laugh at parts with me. Over the left arm of my glasses I kept catching her looking at me. And I don't mean she was just moving her eyes, she was turning her whole head to look at me. Was she making sure I was I smiling and enjoying myself? Or something else? What? I don't know.
As time went on I really wanted to hold her hand. But like I said I've never dated before so I don't know what the protocol for this would be. Is holding hands of a second date normal? Is it okay? Fucking hell I don't know. Should I just grab her hand without permission or do I wait for some signal first? I kept just yelling at myself in my head "DOITFAGGOTDOITDOITDOIT. TAKE THE SHOT. TAKE THE SHOT. JUST FUCKING DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DOITDOITDOITDOOOOOOIIIIIITTTTT." Finally another funny part in the movie came, we laughed and looked at one another. I smiled, looked down, and instead of taking her hand, I offered mine to her. Open, palm up. A compromise with myself.
She smiled, blushed, and took my large hand in her small one. And let it rest on her almost bare leg. Over time she actually intertwined arms with me too. It was not awkward, or forced. In fact it was really comfortable. I rubbed one of her knuckles with my thumb occasionally.
We walked out still holding hand hands and talking the whole way. We stopped at a picknick table and talked, then she asked if we could go get ice cream from a place she knew. As if I could or would say no?
It was a long walk but we still talked the whole way. When she went to pay for her ice cream I said "Let me get this."
Her: "Are you sure?"
I nodded.

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-15 03:35 ID:TwEWuLRp

We got our ice cream and went to the park she mentioned before (Which was actually a playground I knew very well) and sat on the swings still eating our ice cream and still talking while children played on the wooden towers and castles behind us. The sun was setting, temperature dropping. She got a jean jacket and flowered silk scarf from her bag and put them on and we left.
We stopped at another picknick table and shared more personal things about ourselves I won't divulge. But I learned that in addition to painting and drawing she also writes. She likes writing fiction because "[I] like to write about not what is, but what could be." Her favorite color is purple, she does not like the vapidness of what people do on social networking sites and does not take part in it, she has ridden an elephant, and she speaks Spanish. I feel like I'm forgetting other things she said too, damnit.
When I tried to explain why I liked something I liked she would bump my knee with hers and say "You don't need to justify it." She was close the whole time. Why was she so comfortable telling me these things and being so close to me? It's only the second date. I could be a huge dick or a crazy person. I would not take such chances, yet she does?
I did not realize it at first. But I was walking her home. After about two miles I said this:
"Okay, so I know I'm walking you home, now if you don't want me to know where you live..."
Her: "No, it's fine. I know you won't pull a crazy stalker thing."
Me: "I promise not to pull an Edward Cullen on you."
Her: "OH GOD"
I laughed.

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-15 03:36 ID:TwEWuLRp

We kept walking and never not having something to talk about. After a mile she asked to stop and I did.
Her: "You're going to think I'm so lame for this."
She searched and retrieved from her bag a can of pepper spray inside a pink-camo case.
Her: "My dad did not raise a fool."
I actually thought it was smart of her, not lame. She's five foot, two inches and 95 pounds. It's night and we were not in the safest part of town. I myself carry a knife everywhere. And I told her so. We kept walking and talking as I enjoyed learning new mannerisms and quirks in her personality. I wondered if she was enjoying seeing more of my personality too. Along the way I mentioned about my upcoming plans for college. She said she was making plans with a few friends to rent a house in another city two hours away.
Me:"I'd really hate to see you go."
Her: "I'm not going away anytime soon."
Shortly thereafter we got to her house. Or at least the house she was currently living in.
Her: "This is me~."
A small white home at the bottom of a slopped dead-end road.

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-15 03:37 ID:TwEWuLRp

She was facing me with that expectant looking body language just like at the end of out first date. I thanked her for the night out, her and I both said some stuff I can't remember, and then we hugged. When we parted our hands stayed on each other and I looked into her eyes. Then she closed them, tilted her head and leaned inward to kiss me.
Woah. What? What. A kiss on the second date, that can't even be normal for normal people, can it? What? Why would she kiss someone she knows as little about as me? What? What. What? I stopped her with the slightest touch; the fingers of my left hand on her right cheek. Too many questions were swimming in my head. I tried to form some semblance of a question but all that came out was a mumbled "You gonna kiss me?" She, still frozen in place, her head still tilted, her eyes, nearly closed and sleepy looking. A wry smile played on her lips.
Her: "Do you want me to make the first move here?"
What could I say?
Me: "It'd be neat if you did."
She grabbed the back of my head with one hand and pushed it forward into her. Our first kiss. Her lips were cold from the air and slightly moist from her breath. The kiss was short. The very second our lips parted, before they could be more than a micron apart: BLAM! A firework shot from the next street over exploded overhead creating two perfect circle rings of color in black sky. One inner red ring, and one green outer ring.
Her: "That was really cliche."
Me: "I'm not complaining."

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-15 03:37 ID:TwEWuLRp

I asked for a third date. She agreed. When it came to setting up a time she acted all cagey and just wanted me to be spontaneous and text her sometime. I told her I did not want to encroach upon any of her time with friends.
Her: "Ha, I'm kind of boring really."
Fucking what?
Me: "You're anything but boring."
I then preceded to give some short speech about how she was the most abnormal person I had ever met and that it was a good and that I think I needed that, but I can't remember any of it. Eventually we hugged again, shared another brief kiss, and quickly parted too embarrassed to look each other in the eye. Or maybe that was just me, heh. As I walked up the slope I looked over my shoulder to find her looking at me as well while she too walked in her driveway. We stayed like that until a fence separated our gaze. I punched the air in victory and made my way for the other side of town where my bike was chained up. But not before sending a text message promising her to come up with a better line than "You gonna kiss me?" for next time. And wishing her sweet dreams.

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-15 03:40 ID:TwEWuLRp

Third Date.

After both of our work shift we on the street outside our usual cafe. We both got a tea and sat down on this large half-circle couch and talked for a bit. I asked if she could show me any of her work sometime. Her paintings, drawings, and written fiction. She said she had a bad habit of giving away what art she makes to friends but told me she was into henna tattoo art and showed me a photo of this crazy good green and yellow work she did on her left hand. She showed a space on her right foot where there was some faded yellow coloring from some old work of hers, and told me she had also done some work on her left hip too.
She asked me about how I had expressed an interest in poetry on the second date, and then asked if I wanted to go to the library so she could show me her favorite authors.
The poetry second was huge but she could not find everything she wanted. She got a few books and we sat down next to each other at a small round table away from anyone else. She showed me a lot of poems that were way too long to be read in one session. I can't remember a lot of the authors she showed me work by except Robert Frost and whoever it was that did the Alice in Wonderland and the Through the Looking glass ones. One of the Alice poems she had almost memorized. She also used an Alice one that had made up and un-pronounceable words in it in a poetry reading competition. What poetry she could not find in books she would show me on my netbook. I had only ever read "If Not, Winter" by Sappho, but the library did not have it. While reading things I took her hand in my mine, but she would have to let go in order to type something or move a book, but then it would be her to reach out and take my hand. Another person was reaching out to me to take my hand. Another person wanted to take my hand in their enough to do it themselves instead of waiting for me to. We even kissed once in-between readings.
At 7:00PM the library closed and one of the librarians shooed us out.

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-15 03:41 ID:Heaven

I took us for a walk by the river and eventually I lead her to this abandoned truss left over from a bridge long forgotten. It's a place I go to think sometimes. I climbed up about halfway and after some coaxing got her to climb up after me. We ended up having a small unannounced race to the rest the way up. (I won.) I walked to the far end of the truss and sat down with my legs hanging over the ledge. "It really is a great view." she said. From here you can see really far up and down the river and in all directions really. She could never sit down or stand still though. She was antsy. It turns out she was okay with being in high places, but not high places surrounded by water. Before we climbed back down to land I asked her for a kiss. She said I didn't have to ask. I knew that, but I wanted to. We kissed and climbed back to the bottom of the truss where a slope of rocks would lead us back to grassy land. She got to the top first, I looked and saw her standing there waiting for me, smiling. The blue, cloudy sky above her, a backdrop of tall grass, the grey rocks upon which she stood.
Me: "Stop moving."
Her: "Why?"
Me: "Just- don't move."
I began digging through my bag for my cameraphone, tossing my work clothes out onto the rocks to find it. She laughed and said I was lucky since she usually did not let people take her photo. She said she was not photogenic. I don't remember what I said, but I'm sure I must have disagreed with her profoundly. I took the photo and climbed up after her. Right as I got there she started walking through the grass back to the city. I grabbed her wrist and yanked her backward, keeping her from dragging her bare legs through a short thorn bush hidden in the grass. I directed her back onto a path and we got back to the road. We walked with my right arm around her waist and the fingers of her left hand intertwined with the fingers on my right hand as it rested on her hip.

22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-15 03:41 ID:Heaven

It was late, so no more activities. Time to walk her home. We had walked only a small ways before she brought up that she forgot to call her friend for an update on renting that house in the city two hours away. I said again that I would hate to see her go. "So you might be moving in a couple months, right" I asked. "Maybe even sooner than that." she answered. She gestured to a small park area across the street and asked to stop for a moment. We went over and sat on a bench together. She began to speak, looking sad.
She told me she should have told me it earlier, but she is a really transien person. She said she never stayed in one place for very long. She said was the type of person who was "here today, gone tomorrow." And that the only reason she was in this city for so long was because her dad was in the hospital recovering from a car accident for a while. She said when she started dating me she was going into it "looking for someone to have fun with." What did that mean? I did not know, so I asked. She didn't really answer the question but went on to say that she was not ready for a committed relationship right now. I asked something like "You can't really say you're not reciprocating these feelings I have for you, can you?" I mean, why else would she still keep coming out with me like this, right?
Her: "But I don't know what those are."
I don't remember how I worded it, but I told her simply that I was not like other guys. That she was not just a piece of meat to me. (She turned away at that statement.) That I had feelings for her and that they were romantic ones. She looked at me, right in my eyes. Her mouth slightly open, head tilted in thought. Her expression was a mixture of concern, guilt, and pity. I don't remember how but in a really round-about way she basically let me know that she did not feel that same way. She told me she was liberal with who she showed affection for, who she kissed or held hands with. She told me was just looking for someone to "have fun with" and not ready for a committed relationship. She kept saying she was sorry over and over. I told her not to be. I told her this is not like speed dating where you write down exactly what you're expecting on a card so everyone knows up front what you want.

23 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-15 03:42 ID:Heaven

I asked what she thought of a transien long distance relationship - basically making a proposal for one. I told her how people manage long distance relationships between countries and between states so we should be able to work a relationship over the distance of a two hour car ride. I told her we could visit each other somewhat frequently. She said she was not someone who could be there. Not just physically, but emotionally. She said she was a huge flake and may not call for weeks or months at a time and that she was the type of person that if I were to ask her what was wrong when she was upset, she would say she was fine and just bottle it up. She said her last relationship went badly because of these things and that she was not ready for it. I took her bag from between us, set it on the ground and moved close to, putting one arm around her. I know everyone has their problems, I certainly know I have faults. I said that all that was okay and that we could just take things slowly, for her. I told her that not just as a woman, but as a person she was the most real person I had ever met. I told her that even with any of my friends I can never get past the superficial level with them. It was true. All of it. But I guess it did not matter to her. Or at least not in the way that I wanted it to. She said that everything about me was "awesome" and that I was "adorable" and that I was so passionate about the things that I believe in. And that "any girl would be lucky" to get the kind of proposal that I just offered her. But that she was just looking for something different.

24 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-15 03:42 ID:Heaven

So what was that exactly? She was looking for someone "to have fun with" until the time came for her move again, right? I asked her why not continue with her original idea; to have me be that guy she would have fun with until she went on to her next town in a couple months? She said it would be even sooner than that. She said then it would be a one-sided relationship, and that one-sided relationships are never good. She said that it was different now that she knew of my feelings. She told me that then she would just be using me if she continued to date me knowing I had feelings for her while she had none for me. "Then use me." That's what I wanted to say. But that would have made things worse. And it would have been the wrong thing to say. Both morally and otherwise. But what was she thinking? It was me who asked her for a date in the first place, and asked her for a second time, and a third time! How could she not think I liked her even just a little? Would that not be painfully obvious? Would that not be expected based on these actions?
Hey:"So...no fourth date, but I would like to hang out again some time."
I agreed and stood up and hugged her. After we parted, I was still holding her for a moment with our foreheads resting against each other. I looked into her eyes, and she into mine. I told her "God, you're beautiful" one last time. We fully parted and she told me I could walk her home. Of course I would. Oddly, she happily agreed to let me hold her hand to walk her home.

25 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-15 03:43 ID:Heaven

Her: "Okay, I'm a little disoriented here."
Me: "It's okay. I know how to get you home from here."
On our way to where she was currently living we kept walking and talking just like before. I was still feeling out her personality. Learning of more amazing things shes done and places shes been. And it really did not feel any different from our first two dates. I guess until we got to her house. She sighed, "This is me." I ask when she was free to hang out this week. Any time after work was good with her. She did not playfully or teasingly be cagey about a time and date. She easily agree to after her work shift on this Saturday. We hugged each other one last time. A tight hug. And we stayed like that. I felt her short hair on my right hand. Into the nape of her neck I said the following.
Me: "Thank you for today. And don't tell me not to thank you because...thank you."
Again we parted but I kept on hand on her shoulder.
Me: "And thank you for being honest with me. For being blunt with me."
I forget her reply. I forget what was said next by either of us. I wish I knew. But it ended with both of us saying a tired "Goodnight" to each other and walking our separate ways. As I once again walked up the slope I again looked over my shoulder at her. Once her feet left the tar of the road and were on the gravel of her driveway she went into a full out sprint for the front door. I wonder why? She did not look back at me this time.

26 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-15 03:43 ID:Heaven

It was dark now. People around the small city were all on their way home. I passed a boy in a baseball uniform. I always try to be nice and acknowledge the presence of people I pass. I put on a smile and nodded to him. He did not seem to notice. I did it again as he got close. I looked me dead in the eyes. He looked furious and did not return any greeting. Maybe he lost his baseball game. "Wait, does my face appear that way right now?" I thought.
I could have taken a different set of bridges and cut about 45 minutes off my 10 mile walk home. But I wanted food. Fuck her healthy living and eating, and fuck my running. I wanted something cheap and awful for me. I went to McDonalds and got two mcdoubles and a huge lemonade. I read a little news on my netbook and rested for a bit. I felt really deflated. More than I should be for this situation? Am I over reacting? No. I think not. She really did just happen to be the most real and most abnormal
It's not like I'm distraught or angry or depressed or anything. I'm completely fine all except for...

27 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-15 03:44 ID:Heaven

Heartache is weird. I've always thought it to be some ethereal, unreal, almost cosmic emotional state from what I've read in books and manga. But it's an actual physical pain. It's no different from stinging of the blister on my thumb. Or the lingering soreness in my right leg after a run. Or the pain in my neck from holding my head at a funny angle for the time that it's taken me to type all this. It's right there, in the center of my chest cavity. A small twinging pain that feels like a tiny, yet tightly packed cluster of sparks from a dying sparkler. Except painful. I'd really like to see what chemical things take place in the body to create this sensation. Ironically, or maybe unironically, taking pain killing pills does not make it go away.
On the way home I stopped at an observation point on a bridge overlooking a huge river. I took a photo of the river, where the lamps of a shore-side factory cast floating baubles of light across the rolling waves. With no trees or buildings to shield me, a wind swept up and down the river. It ruffled my short, upright hair can cooled my hot face. I flicked my phones screen back on. The photo of the river made it seem earlier in the day than the night that was actually all around me.
So...what do I do now? I think I might watch Kino No Tabi again. Ah but I can't find the OVAs for that. MuShiShi then? Nah, the manga was better. I still haven't finished Skyrim yet. At least she still wants to hang out with me on Saturday.
In that cafe...I once saw a girl with a My Neighbor Totorro skin on her laptop. Maybe I'll hang at that cafe and see her again, and if I see her then I'll talk to her. Or maybe I won't.

28 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-15 03:47 ID:Heaven

Welp. That was a wall a fucking text. But I'm glad I wrote it all out. I don't think I did anything wrong here.
Looks like you'll have to open the whole thread to view it all.

29 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-15 19:44 ID:MSgY67A1

Wow. I must say, this started out a little too "ideal", and I was half-expecting a Bel-Air.

Unfortunately I can't offer you any advice, but you do have my sympathy. Our views are similar and this is the sort of thing I would dread if I tried for a relationship. It's a complete shame that so many wonderful people--men and women--prefer non-serious flings to actual romances. Maybe it's a sign of the times, or maybe the world was always like this.

I really hope you have better luck in future, and hopefully this at least served as a learning experience. Please report back if anything happens to you!

30 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-16 04:27 ID:Heaven

I didn't really learn anything though. Except that there's a chick that has done more with her 19 years than most people do with their whole lifetime. She may have not wanted any kind of romance with me. But I hope I can be like her.
She said something came up and can't hang out Saturday.

31 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-16 13:27 ID:zAPN695K

Girls are crazy.

All of my relationships (if you can even call them that) have gone something like this.

One or two dates, we hit it off great, and then within a week or so they change their mind, or decide they weren't really that interested in the first place, and I never hear from them again.
At least you got a reason: she's leaving town soon.

In my case I've just gotten that same old line "I feel like I'd be taking advantage of you," a couple of times, but never much more detail than that.

32 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-17 09:43 ID:6A5okY3L

You may not have learned anything, but you also didn't do anything wrong, as you had said earlier. What do you mean by be more like her?

I suppose it truly is a sign of the times. I hope not all are like that though. Actual romance would be nice too...

33 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-18 17:14 ID:2Nu12t5K

That was a LONG two part story. Like >>29, we can't give much advice except accept the situation @ hand and move on. Sometimes the person we feel comfortable the most can't share those same feelings with you. And that's not to say "she's the one." I believe in making choices AND fate. We all decide whether to live cautiously or sporadically, but when we make those actions, we don't always know whether it would be for the better or worse. In your case...when you mentioned "fuck...use me then," your choice was to allow her to be with you (regardless of her feelings)...just so the hope of being together and starting a spark of love would enact. However, her choice was your "fate" and that's it. I'll say this though: sometimes love finds you in the most oddest of places. One example: I try to call a girl that I liked since elementary school during summer break. Guess what...I called the wrong girl! However, after several phone calls and hang outs...she's my girlfriend...for almost 8 years!

I feel sympathy for you >>1...and I hope you continue finding love as it is finding you...somewhere in this world.

On a side note...the fact that you mentioned Edward Cullen made me stop for a moment and wanted to give you a imaginary punch in the gut. Don't use Twilight analogies...it's annoying and useless.

34 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-18 18:35 ID:Heaven

I don't want to start a gender debate here, but am I the only person who thinks men are more interested in romance than women? Perhaps it's only "geeky" men, but that's the impression I've gotten from /love/ and various other places.

35 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-18 19:05 ID:Heaven

I meant be more like her as in live like how she does. She's done so many little things with her 19 years of being alive that most people never do in 80 years of being alive. I want to be like that.
Haha, I know they are. But it was relevant and got the laugh out of her that I was going for.
I do feel that way about it sometimes too. Relationships feel one-sided to me because of this sometimes. I'm the man and I have to be manly and do manly things and entertain and provide everything for my woman. And the woman gets to be the woman and be entertained and live off my work. I'd like to not be a man and her be a woman whom are locked into certain roles based on our gender. I'd like to just simply be. Simply be two equal independent people; connected to one another by our feelings.
This is not to say I don't enjoy being with a woman, I just have never felt that I am on equal footing with a woman when in a relationship.

36 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-19 08:24 ID:6A5okY3L

This one didn't work as well, but I wish you luck on the next one, and feel free to come back with help on future endeavors.

37 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-21 23:06 ID:Ivvu1NbS

Oh, that was strange. Normally it's women who want romance and guys get steriotyped as just wanting sex.

38 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-22 07:56 ID:Nasfyabf

39 Name: 36 : 2012-06-22 16:54 ID:6A5okY3L

>>37 I have to agree, strange... Then again, that's equality for you.

40 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-24 21:57 ID:Heaven

Perhaps it's because woman finally have equal social rights as men. Imagine keeping slaves for a few decades then saying, "Okay, we're going to let you go. Take all our whips and chains as a sign of our gratitude. Sorry!" Imagine what would happen.

Maybe things will balance back out soon.

41 Name: fartman : 2013-05-09 16:04 ID:IzYsJG+t


>I have no idea how to act

act like a woman

>or what to do or what to wear.

dont wear anything

What should I do or say?
swing ur cock and ask her "do u like my sausage?"

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