I don't know what's going on... (4)

1 Name: Confused girl : 2014-01-17 02:33 ID:JKV0xlx4 This thread was merged from the former /love/ board. You can view the archive here.

So I met this guy (I'll call him P.) through a friend (J.) last summer (5 months to be exact). We first met in the beach but we didn't talk because we hardly knew each other (we didn't get properly introduced by our mutual friend). I ended up getting drunk and as I was sobering up, he held my hand. I thought it was a cute way of guiding me so I never thought much to it.

After our first meeting, we ended up partying every other weekend. The first night we clubbed together, we made-out. He had a condo close to where we went clubbing so I stayed there with friends. I slept in his room but nothing happened. We just kissed and cuddled. He kept telling me that I was so much better than his ex-girlfriend (whom he was with for 4 years). I then asked him when he last saw her and he said a week before we met (and that they slept together). I didn't think much of it because initially, I was not that interested in him anyways. So I went with the flow.

Every time we went out, we made out except that one night when he came back from his vacation after two weeks (2 months later). To be honest, I ended up missing him so I created an event for all of our friends and him to come out and have fun. One of his ex from 6 years ago happened to be in the club as well. I introduced myself to her but I didn't know who she was at that time. I don't think he realized but I watched him and her the whole night. At first, they were always together and chatted super close. At that time, I didn't think much of it and continued dancing with my other friends. When I turned around, they started to make out. I just felt this stab in my chest and I stormed out of the club, crying. When I came back, I slapped him in the face when he was dancing with her, went outside to take a deep breath, and then went back in trying to ignore him. He looked at me with this sad expression on his face, but I kept walking away from him to see our other friends. At the end of the night, he left with the girl and took a cab back to his place. Our friends dragged me back to P.'s place when I didn't want to be there knowing the girl is probably there with him. Since I live so far, there was no way for me to get home so I stayed for the night. The next day, I left early and deleted P. off my facebook.

I didn't talk to P. for about 3 weeks. It was this time that I realize I was starting to like him. My birthday was getting closer, and I really wanted him there very badly so I messaged him saying how sorry I was for slapping him that night. He replied back saying to not worry about it. He then asked me if I was planning to send him a friend request on FB or he will add me himself and I told him "upto you". I would never thought he would knew I deleted him off. Something inside me felt happy that at least he thought of me during this time we didn't speak.

2 Name: Confused girl : 2014-01-17 02:33 ID:JKV0xlx4

So my birthday came rolling along a week later. He sent me a text message on my birthday, greeting me (I didn't even know he knew when my birthday was because I never told him.. I don't know if he saw it on fb or what). I think I giggled a little bit in class when I saw his message (yes I'm such a kid lol). I didn't know if he was coming to my birthday, and my other group of friends kept asking where P. was because they wanted to meet him. Unfortunately, he ended up coming past 2 because he had a work gala to attend too. When I saw him, I was so happy to see him. I think my face literally lit up. I didn't even go to my hotel that night because I ended up going back to his condo (nothing happened). That night I ended up telling him that I liked him and he said he liked me too.

Last month, I started to have problems with some of our mutual friends and I stopped hanging out with them. Before I left to go to my trip, he asked him to meet him at a pub so I went. When I saw our mutual friends there, I felt uncomfortable and wanted to leave but he convinced me to stay. We ended up leaving together to go back to his place where he became quite pushy for sex. I never had sex before so I told him I wasn't ready and he respected me. During my trip, I greeted him "Merry xmas" and he replied 30 mins later. I wanted him to greet me first for new years but he never did so I didn't bother.

I saw him last Saturday for the first time after I came back from my trip. I attended a work party with a friend, and I asked him if he was free. He told me that he was in another location (about 20-30 mins away from where I was) attending an acquaintance's birthday party. I was going to meet him at that location but he said he was too embarrassed to take me there because the location was just so bad in general. I told him it's okay, and I'll meet him there (I was quite tipsy with the red wine I drank and he knew this) but he kept insisting he will pick me up where I was at, and that he needed exercise anyways. When we met up, we went to a pub where we drank for a bit and I realized how tired he was, and told him we should go home. When we got to his place, I told him that I didn't really know much about him (I never really asked him questions about himself and we never really texted much-- like trying to get to know each other or go on dates).

I told him that we haven't gone out on an actual date and he said it's hard for him at the moment because he has been working crazy hours. He apologized for not being able to ask me out. Then I asked him, "So what are we?" (it was a question that I was asking myself for a long time) and said he didn't know. I was kind of sad when I heard of that actually but I tried not to show it. I started to ask him about his ex. He told me about his Russian ex he had for 5 months while he lived in Paris last year. I was confused with the timeline actually. I didn't know if this ex was the same ex he talked about when I first met him (the girl he dated for 4 years). I never asked him anymore questions because (1): I felt like I had no right to ask him since we aren't really going out; (2): a part of me don't really want to know. I also asked him if he was seeing someone else, and he said no.

I'm just so confused.. I don't really know what's going on. He is the first guy that I ever liked, and actually want to be with (I don't date around much either). Sometimes I feel like I initiate most of the convos but he either replies when he feels like it or replies when he remembers me. Should I wait around for him? I don't know if he is still heartbroken from his previous relationship (he never said anything else except the first night we spent together). Last night, I messaged him and he didn't reply back.

Any advices on what I should/could do?

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2014-01-18 21:34 ID:txT/cL2u

Paying such as alimony at least
The painful but by the mercy of

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2014-01-26 21:15 ID:txT/cL2u

I go over there anyway

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