Not Social (7)

1 Name: Anonymous : 2014-06-03 08:33 ID:CRtdW4xW

I probably have other problems first but I this is my biggest fear right now.

I have actually been in school for a long long time, I got my degree in Economics a few years ago (took me 7 years almost to finish due to failing in first year) but I've grown due to this I think and have realized I'm not as dumb as I thought.

I've always been very shy and didn't have a lot of friends until high school. I also didn't really work till near the end of my University years. I worked retail part-time, and met some people. I was there for almost 3 years but after they changed management I got pretty fed-up and just quit. I even worked there for half a year after I finished Uni, and when I couldn't find a job my friend from elementary referred me to a job in his office area. I was good, made decent money and the job was decent. I felt really intimidated because most people were older than me or just plain old, and the workplace 'felt' really strict for me. Sadly I got let go due to downsizing. In the end, I didn't really meet anyone I could keep in touch with. I quit my retail job near the end of 2012 (around Christmas) when I just couldn't stand management anymore, and January 2013 (last year) was when I got let go from the office.

I lived on employment insurance for most of last year, because I could get more than if I found a shittier job. However, when I got let go was when I decided due to the influence of my gf and one of my good friends that I should try for an accounting diploma. I want to be an accountant, and my grades so far have been mostly good (I started with 4 A's in a row for the entry courses) and I was surprised I've done so well even in the harder courses. I've also attended some workshops at school regarding how to get hired by the 'main' companies (big 4 if you're familiar). I realize that I basically need to network and need to be social.

I feel really really nervous when I think that I have to pretend to be a really social person, I mean I can talk to people and stuff with no problem but I don't really KNOW what to talk about. I don't really share similar interests to people generally, and I'm not socially smart. I feel like this is now kicking me in the ass, I'm not sure how I can develop these skills so late in my life and at such great urgency. From what I gather, being able to network and maintain connections/contacts is life or death for this process.

There's a career coach for my program, and I've tried contacting him because he seemed nice and was a helpful person. But when I tried to reach out for help, I felt that like other people he did try to help but in the end doesn't really care all that much. I think he realized I'm a pretty weak person or something. When I tried to contact him was late April and after we had a meeting to go over my resume, I haven't kept in touch because I'm not sure what I should even say.

I just feel a little lost right now, hah. I've already tried a couple books on networking but while they were good at introducing me to the concept, the actual process scares me.

2 Name: Anonymous : 2014-06-03 14:30 ID:qJTHlH5l

Social aptitude cn be faked pretty easily. Most people repeat the same themes over and over again. If you don't know what to say pretend to be interestedin what hey say and sk them to tel you more, or to explain further.
They all love he sound of their own voice.

3 Name: Anonymous : 2014-06-04 07:05 ID:Gt090I8D

Dude you even have a girlfriend! How can it be possible that you don't know how to socialize? Anyway, here's how things are: When you talk to someone, try to think of where they come from and what they want. Serve their needs on a silver plate when talking to them and they'll like you. Suggest staying in touch in some method. Do this with everyone you meet. You'll become very social, but be aware that this might consume you, as you will generally spend more time thinking for others and doing what others want instead of thinking for yourself and doing what you want.

I hope this helps.

4 Name: Anonymous : 2014-06-11 08:34 ID:I33jMTzj

I, unfortunately, lost myself in this method, because, I started doing it at a young age, and it more than consumed me. Would not recommend

5 Name: Anonymous : 2014-06-11 12:01 ID:Heaven

There's always the possibility to stop talking to everyone and anyone you don't want to.

6 Name: Anonymous : 2014-07-30 05:18 ID:XR7/3pBT

Look up conversational scripts! like these

At first it's gonna seem unnatural but it'll get easier. Kind of robotic feeling.
Generally it's hard to get better unless you practice and make the mistakes too.

7 Name: gorrillaconvention : 2014-08-03 20:58 ID:Heaven

i dont care who says theyre hot or they arent id still put it in all their holes

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