I met Stallman on my vacation in Los Angeles (6)

1 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2020-01-25 04:01 ID:RI5se2tf This thread was merged from the former /code/ board. You can view the archive here.

>I saw RMS in a store in Los Angeles during my vacation

>I told him how great it was to meet him in person
>but I didn't want to bother him and ask him for a picture
>"I'd just like to interject for a moment"
>that took me by surprise and I could only say "huh?"
>that's when I realized he wasn't buying
>he was camping and had his sleeping bag in a corner
>"I'd just like to interject for a moment"
>he had recently woken up and was looking for water to wash his beard with
>"I'd just like to interject for a moment"
>followed him to his sleeping bag where he pulled a needle from his hobo bag
>"I'd just like to interject for a moment"
>I asked him if it's true that he's a pedophile and that Epstein financed him
>"I'd just like to interject for a moment"
>I told him that my daughter who's 11 yo loves Linux and wants to be like him when she grows up
>"I'd just like to interject for a moment"
>oh, excuse me sir, I meant GNU/Linux
>I asked him if he wanted to say hello to her for her birthday
>"I'd just like to interject for a moment"
>I take him to the apartment where we're staying
>my daughter is delighted
>Her smile disappears when Stallman approaches her
>Smash Mouth's "All Star" starts playing
>"I'd just like to erect for a moment"
>pulls down his pants
>an onion smell fills the room
>My daughter screams and tries to escape but RMS grabs her and starts fucking her mouth
>I start screaming and trying to get him off but he pushes me away effortlessly
>RMS roars
>"I'd just like to eject for a moment"
>16 liters of smelly semen fill her mouth
>his stomach explodes because too much semen
>the room is filled with pink liquid: his guts (red) mixed with semen (white)
>falls to one side and stops moving
>I'm crying in a corner
>RMS opens his librebooted ThinkPad T400s and Trisquel starts
>opens an offline copy of How to Install Linux on a Dead Badger
>puts the end of a USB cable up my dead daughter's nose
>"I'd just like to resurrect for a moment"
>I try to kick RMS out using a broom
>breaks the broom easily with his enormous belly
>without any more resources, I try to convince him to leave the apartment by lying to him that I have an Amazon Echo
>he runs away scared and disgusted shouting "I'd just like to protect myself for a moment"
>Put my daughter's body against my chest, cursing God and the universe
>I see a message written in blood on the bathroom mirror
>"it's all over now"
>I pick up a toenail that RMS left
>I remove all the poisonous mushrooms growing on it
>I hold it close to my throat
>I cut it off
>blood isn't coming out fast enough
>I hear the gentle voice of RMS in the distance
>"I'd just like to infect for a moment"
>I smile as the mold of his foot enters my bloodstream
>I see RMS and my daughter in heaven
>she holds his hand
>I try to reach her
>RMS stops me and tells me to say goodbye to each of them separately to "avoid any electronic inference" and winks
>I don't think that's even a word
>I hold my daughter's hand and try to get her away from him
>RMS keeps interrupting me by yawning loudly
>a hole opens in the clouds under my feet and I fall into hell
>I make this thread from beyond the grave

2 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2020-01-31 05:57 ID:Heaven

>his stomach explodes because too much semen
>the room is filled with pink liquid: his guts (red) mixed with semen (white)

why did RMS's stomach exploding from his own semen when he orgasmed (interesting medical condition, that) kill your daughter? and how did he survive?

or did your daughter switch to he/him pronouns moments before his death?

3 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2020-05-02 03:22 ID:s1EGrfKj

what the actual fuck

4 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2020-06-25 07:06 ID:fVSKLZW8

what the imaginary fuck

5 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2020-07-26 12:42 ID:Heaven

proprietary software is heinously anus

6 Name: Anonymous Techie : 2021-04-06 08:56 ID:sxdmApQx

proprietary software makes frogs gay

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